Will The Real Men PLEASE Stand Up!!!!!!!!

I was listening to Mr. Moody's Neighborhood (shout out to Moody, Cousin Ed, Naturel, and Tracy for an AMAZING show!!) and I was so intrigued by everything the crew had to say. So I'm pretty much just going to be piggy backing off of some of the things they spoke on. Granted there are some extraordinary men in the world and we have a great amount of them right here in the hood. Regardless of that fact there is a significant amount of men (or so called men I should say) who are not stepping up to the plate and taking care of their responsibilities. This is not only fathers I'm speaking on, but also brothers, cousins, uncles, friends, etc. Our young boys and young men are growing up in homes with no positive male influence, no male perspective whatsoever. So they look to other resources, the wrong resources to show them how to behave. Instead of behaving and growing into a commendable young man a lot of these boys are being taught to be drug dealers, thugs, gang bangers, absent fathers, women beaters, rapists, abusers, and so many other things. They use the lives of athletes and entertainers for examples and they try to emulate that behavior. There's no male anywhere to tell these young boys that their behavior is unacceptable. As a result so many of these young boys end up in and out of jail, on the streets for the rest of their lives, or dead. There are even young men who have fathers that live in the home, but the father is so emotionally detached from his child(ren). In my opinion, that's worse than not being there at all. But even when the father is absent from the home physically and/or emotionally where are the brothers, the uncles, the cousins? What are they doing to help raise an upstanding young man? Much respect to those single mothers who are raising young boys because I know it's tough, but in my opinion there are certain things a woman cannot teach a boy for him to grow into a respectable man.

So where are our real men?? Where are the men that will step up and teach our boys how to love their children, how to love their wives, how to be a provider for their families, how to live a life that their children could emulate?? Like it was mentioned in the podcast, it's only about 15% of these men out there. So what's going on with the other 85%? (If you haven't listened to the podcast it's a MUST that you do so.) I wish that there were more men in the world like my father and my grandfather. These men handled their responsibilities as fathers, husbands, and heads of their households. On a personal note I definitely have to commend my father. When my mom passed 7+ years ago my father became a single father of 4. My dad did EVERYTHING in his power to make sure we had all that we needed. He never once ran out on us. He never once let us go without. He'd go hungry before he let my brothers and I go hungry. We NEED more men like that in the world, especially in the black community. There are so many single mothers out there whose children have never known their fathers and it's a shame. (SIDE BAR: Ladies if he was a dead beat when you met him WHY would you lay down with him??!! Put a lock on that thang ladies and throw away the key for goodness sakes!! Close your legs!!!) One thing I think people need to learn to do as parents is pray with and for their children. I'm a firm believer in prayer and I've seen it work. Pray for these boys that are out there in the streets trappin and gang banging. Pray for the ones that are growing up without fathers in the home. That's just my stand on it.


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Comment by sunnydelyte21 on May 21, 2012 at 12:54pm

I couldn't agree more. We need more postive men to become mentors to these young men and show the right way, but the same can be said to female. I have to check out this podcast...

Comment by Lina on September 22, 2011 at 6:24pm
Thank you so much for that, classychick1.  It was such a shock to my family. He was only 22 years old.
Comment by classychick1 on September 22, 2011 at 6:18pm

Lina,  My deepest sympathies and condolences to you and your family upon the passing of your brother. Great post, I totally agree!!!!!

Comment by Lina on September 22, 2011 at 3:53pm

You're so lucky to have had positive male influences in your life.  The funny thing is is that my father was not a deadbeat in the sense that he had a very good career in the Navy. He made it all the way to E-9 (which is not an easy thing to do) and he was highly decorated. So it wasn't like he did not have the money to take care of me and my little brother. And yet I could count on one hand the number of times I saw him in my entire life. He was never there for me and my brother, and sadly my brother past away last year so now he will never get to know his son.  I don't know how any man can go through life knowing they have children out there and not wanting to be a part of their lives.  It's not even about the money. It's about being there to help raise them and offer guidance, especially to their sons.  And on a side note, when you have to watch your own children it's not babysitting, men! It's only babysitting when you are watching children that are not yours.  


Baby Sitting: 

Verb: Look after a child or children while the parents are out
Comment by Cousin Ed on June 23, 2011 at 11:09pm
Comment by classychick1 on January 26, 2011 at 8:28pm

Gosh, I could answer this from on so many levels... Fortunately (for him) I loathe my daughter’s father so intensely… I literally just got sick to the point; I can’t even continue to comment on this… SMH

Comment by Jewess on September 23, 2009 at 8:48pm
When i was growing up i learned men were sh--, not because of what i heard but because of what i saw. I either saw one beating a woman, calling one out of their name, disrespecting her by sleeping with her friends, etc. What i saw didn't make me respect men so i developed an attitude of keep them at an arms length or they'll hurt you. Most of these lessons i learned directly from my father. My parents split when i was three, and the men around me were no better example. When it was time to choose my own mate, ok truthfully i wasn't looking for a mate but a fu-- buddy, i needed relief...anyway i went seeking characteristics i thought made a good man. Now years later I now know there are men trying to hold up a standard, trying to love their wives and children as much as they love themselves.
Comment by MsConfident on September 23, 2009 at 8:34pm
~*Ms i agree with you...1000% *~
Comment by LatinTemptress on July 28, 2009 at 11:17am
I grew up with my father for the first 10 yrs of my life then the marriage ended in divorce and we moved to the US from PR. My mom became a single, hard-working parent. As far as male uncles, cousins, etc they had their own families to attend to. We had no father figure after the divorce. IMO, children need their fathers as much as their mothers and I know that although my own father was no longer there for us, that there are good men out there. Men that through circumstance are not allowed to see their children and spend time with them even though the check is in the mail every week. Men that suffer the injustice of the family court's inadequate system that favors a dysfunctional baby momma over a good father. Men that cannot even talk to their child on the phone because their baby momma is a vindictive bitch or her new man is laying up in her home and won't allow this child to speak to his father. I wish I'd had a father there to teach me and guide me and love me so that I wouldn't have had to learn my lessons through trial and error.
I am also going to piggy-back on the comment by Ms.China: Men teach your sons how to treat a woman. Don't teach them that sticking every chick they meet makes them a man and that if he turns down sex with a woman that he is gay or a punk. Teach them to respect women and show your child what a real relationship is by respecting their mother. Show your sons that honest work is the road to success. Teach your daughters that to love themselves and show her love and pride so that no man could ever manipulate her. Teach her that she is worthy of love and respect and teach her to become an independent thinker. Tell your daughters that they are smart and beautiful so that she doesn't need to seek confirmation otherwise. Real men are out there, I know, I am in a committed relationship with one. ;-)
Comment by Ms. China on June 11, 2009 at 4:41pm
I am a 30 year old mother of three. I teach preschool and also attend University of Phoenix online. I have my own house and car. I said all that to say this....I am raising three kids on my own. The fact that their fathers aren't in their lives pushes me to achieve more and more goals each day. I know people will blame what they do on the fact that their mothers or fathers were not in their lives. Children lead by example, my hard work proves to my children that no matter what may come your way you can do it. Yes at times I do get tired but the joy of knowing my kids have a roof over their heads, have food, clothes, and everything else they need fills me with energy. Using the absence of a parent is just another excuse that one person made and everybody liked it. The lack of a parent should push you to become a better role model for your own children. Although my kids fathers are not in their lives I make sure someone in the family knows whats going on with them. Growing up I was raised by only one parent and it wasn't because she didn't want the responsibility. As a woman that didn't make me decide to leave my kids. People often ask my why I consider my mother such a role model. The reason is although she had reason for leaving I refuse to become what my mother was. When I was pregnant with my youngest son my mother became very ill. Now I could have neglected the fact that she was my mother just as she had when I was younger but as a child of God I stepped up and did what I knew was right. I took care of her from May 2002-January 2007 when she passed away. I don't regret one thing that I did for her in her time of need. The problem with the world today is we hold grudges. So what if your baby's father isn't there step up and be both mom and dad. Don't talk down on him in front of your kids, that was a decision you made. What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger!!!! Women its not hard to teach a boy to become a man. I'm sure men in your past have hurt you in some way, teach your son the opposite of what you've been through. Men teach your daughter's that everything that looks good to you is not good for you. You have hurt women tell your daughter what to look for to end the cycle. Stop making excuses for the way your life has turned out its nobody's fault but your own. For every cause there is an effect, don't put others in situations you wouldn't want to be in yourself. And when you do things to hurt your fellow man remember......your kids will one day become adults and you don't want the same thing to happen to them. I am a firm believer that you reap what you sow. I hope my comment has not offended anyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Young, Black, and Fabulous

MUSIC BITS: “Blurred Lines” Trial REVEALS The Song Made Robin Thicke, Pharrell & T.I. $16.6 Million In Profits + Tahj Mowry’s “Dancing Alone”

In today’s music bits, the “Blurred Lines” trial is exposing the coinage Robin Thicke, Pharrell Williams and T.I. earned for the hit 2013 single. Also, Tahj Mowry has a new Prince-inspired track. Get it inside…

The trial involving Marvin Gaye’s family having issue with the “Blurred Lines” track continues in a Los Angeles courtroom. You'll recall, Robin Thicke, Pharrell Williams and T.I. fired off a lawsuit against Marvin Gaye's estate in Sept. 2013, then Gaye’s family hit back with a counter suit as they accuse the entertainers of ripping off Marvin’s classic "Got to Give It Up."

As the trial continues, new information has surfaced and tea is being spilled about the actual amount of money each artist made for the highly popular song.

So how much did Robin, P & Tip make? Plenty! In fact, the song totaled $16.6 million in profits, according to reports on the Hollywood Reporter.

Court testimony reveals $5,658,214 went to Robin, $5,153,457 was given to P, and $704,774 went to T.I. Each of their respective record labels (Interscope, Star Trek & UMG Distribution) split the leftover $6.9 million with an executive at Universal Music. SONY dodged court and settled with the family (for an undiclosed amount) in January 2014.

Later this week, Pharrell is scheduled to testify before the court which could largely determine whether the Gaye family receives any of the mentioned royalties.

There’s also another song by Robin Thicke in question by the Gaye estate. They claim Robin’s “Love After War” misappropriated Gaye’s “After The Dance.” They want royalties for that track too. The Gayes estate’s financial expert Gary Cohen claims “Love After War” brought in $895,374 in profits and they want their cut of that too!

In all, the Gaye’s are seeking approximately $40 million for alleged damages. SHEESH!


On the music front....


We haven’t heard much from the Mowry sisters’ little brother Tahj Mowry on the music front. But, he has some brand new tunes for the masses.

In the midst of starring on the hit ABC Family series “Baby Daddy,” Tahj drops a Prince-inspired ballad titled “Dancing Along.” The actor/singer croons about his main chick getting in with everyone else in the club, while he’s dancing alone.

It’s reported he will release his first official single “Flirt” on April 28th, followed by the release of his new LP later in the year. In the meantime, check his newest musical offering above.

Keyshia Cole Continues To Blast Booby Gibson...This Time For Partying With Big Booty Chicks On Their Son's Birthday (Plus Booby Blasts Her Back!)

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Oh, the drama! Keyshia Cole is STILL going off on her estranged husband Booby Gibson.  And she's letting it all hang out on social media.  Check out what she had to say about Booby partying with big booty chicks on their son's birthday....instead of partying with his son.  But....Daniel popped back with allusions to her being a bad mother!

Y'all, Keyshia is still mad at Booby.  And she wants the world to know it.

After blasting her estranged hubby for attempting to cheat with a video girl right under her nose, she's now posting video of Booby in the club watching big booties bounce up and down....when he was allegedly supposed to be at their 5-year-old son DJ's birthday party: 

Make sure to peep that caption too.

So, Booby popped back with a long statement refuting her comments and accusing her of bad mothering:

I'll only say this. I ain't with all this messy shyt. This is not the place for any of this but I won't be quiet and sit back when you decide to involve an innocent child you force my hand. Make people think I'm a hoe, cool, let people think your perfect.. I don't care, but it takes a sick person to involve a child when they know what I do for him. For attention? Ratings? I FaceTime'd with my son yesterday through his grandmother because I did not want to speak to his mother. & he said "I WANT TO BE WITH YOU because my mom been sleep all day!" Social Media is not the place for any of this. You know Daniel Jr. Is my everything. Who was he with when you went to jail behind fighting over another man? You cried on my shoulder? I went to court with you? Who taught him his ABC's? Who flew 5hrs and drove 4 hours to bring him to you so he could bring in the New Year with his mother!! Who wakes up every morning & plays his game with him. Don't bring my son into your bullshyt! A terrible father is one thing I am not. & that video was from the night of MY BIRTHDAY not his. I hope this works for you & all your using it for. I'm Done. Crucify me but leave my son out your shyt!

So you already know that lit Keyshia on fire:

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She also responded with:

Gib This is not the #FirstTime you've missed his BDay! So stop the Bullshit. And CLEARLY I could've been involved in another altercation at your house when u decided to sleep with a woman in our home! In our Bed! Where my baby sleeps! So stop with that bullshit! #ForRating?? Gib what u fail to realize is before u, I was already established as artist. I don't need to beef with u for that. I'm just tired of u trying to make people think u want this to work with your family. #CauseClearlyYouDont!

And are you saying the both of us didn't teach my Baby his ABCs. Btw mommy went to the activity store to buy all the books for ANYTHING to be taught! So #PLEASECHILL


We'll keep you updated on the Keyshia vs. Boobie beef.



1.  Oprah is closing her HARPO studios in Chicago and moving them to L.A., and laying off most of her 200-person staff.  STORY

2.  Kobe Bryant premiered his MUSE documentary over the weekend and revealed his wife Vanessa had a miscarriage in 2005 with what was to be their second child, due to the stress of the 2003 rape case. STORY


Photos: Instagram


EXCLUSIVE FIRST LOOK: Tina & Teddy Campbell WORK Through Cheating Issues In "Mary Mary" Season Premiere

Mary Mary singer Tina Campbell and her husband Teddy Campbell are working on saving their marriage after infidelity accusations made by Tina. TheYBF.com has the very first sneak peek at the first episode of the upcoming new season where we see the two take the first steps at reestablishing their foundation. Check it inside….

If you’re a “Mary Mary” fan, you saw the explosive breakdown of Mary Mary singer Tina Campbell after she found out her husband Teddy Campbell was sleeping around on her (supposedly on numerous occasions) last season. And TheYBF.com has first sneak peek at episode 1 of the upcoming season.

After struggling with trying to forgive her husband after he betrayed her trust (and taking some of the blame), Tina and her husband Teddy have decided to stay together and work through the heartbreak. Now, the real work comes in as they try to move forward with their relationship. But of course, that comes with having to deal with the baggage from the past.

In our exclusive first sneak peek, Teddy comes to terms with getting rid of the car his wife damaged during a rage as she released her frustrations after finding out about his infidelity. She totally destroyed his classic vehicle, smashing windows, ripping up the interior and keying the outside. So, rather than having the vehicle fixed, he decided to get rid of the car to keep the negative memories in the past as they work on trying to save their marriage.

Check it below:


Tina's sister Erica Campbell is struggling with balancing her solo career (which is taking off) and being a part of the gospel singing duo Mary Mary, who is mangerless. In the super trailer, we see Erica's husband Warryn Campbell and Tina bump heads over business, causing Erica to be caught in the crossfire. It also appears Erica is missing in action while her sister renews her vows. To make matters even worst between the sisters, it appears Tina has now embarked on her own solo career and has sought out help from Mary Mary's former manager Mitchell Solarek (who they fired previously). Lordt....

Yes, it's many things. Check out the teaser below in case you missed it:


The new season of "Mary Mary" premieres Thursday, March 5th at 10/9c on WE tv.


Photos: Erica & Tina's IG

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