Will The Real Men PLEASE Stand Up!!!!!!!!

I was listening to Mr. Moody's Neighborhood (shout out to Moody, Cousin Ed, Naturel, and Tracy for an AMAZING show!!) and I was so intrigued by everything the crew had to say. So I'm pretty much just going to be piggy backing off of some of the things they spoke on. Granted there are some extraordinary men in the world and we have a great amount of them right here in the hood. Regardless of that fact there is a significant amount of men (or so called men I should say) who are not stepping up to the plate and taking care of their responsibilities. This is not only fathers I'm speaking on, but also brothers, cousins, uncles, friends, etc. Our young boys and young men are growing up in homes with no positive male influence, no male perspective whatsoever. So they look to other resources, the wrong resources to show them how to behave. Instead of behaving and growing into a commendable young man a lot of these boys are being taught to be drug dealers, thugs, gang bangers, absent fathers, women beaters, rapists, abusers, and so many other things. They use the lives of athletes and entertainers for examples and they try to emulate that behavior. There's no male anywhere to tell these young boys that their behavior is unacceptable. As a result so many of these young boys end up in and out of jail, on the streets for the rest of their lives, or dead. There are even young men who have fathers that live in the home, but the father is so emotionally detached from his child(ren). In my opinion, that's worse than not being there at all. But even when the father is absent from the home physically and/or emotionally where are the brothers, the uncles, the cousins? What are they doing to help raise an upstanding young man? Much respect to those single mothers who are raising young boys because I know it's tough, but in my opinion there are certain things a woman cannot teach a boy for him to grow into a respectable man.

So where are our real men?? Where are the men that will step up and teach our boys how to love their children, how to love their wives, how to be a provider for their families, how to live a life that their children could emulate?? Like it was mentioned in the podcast, it's only about 15% of these men out there. So what's going on with the other 85%? (If you haven't listened to the podcast it's a MUST that you do so.) I wish that there were more men in the world like my father and my grandfather. These men handled their responsibilities as fathers, husbands, and heads of their households. On a personal note I definitely have to commend my father. When my mom passed 7+ years ago my father became a single father of 4. My dad did EVERYTHING in his power to make sure we had all that we needed. He never once ran out on us. He never once let us go without. He'd go hungry before he let my brothers and I go hungry. We NEED more men like that in the world, especially in the black community. There are so many single mothers out there whose children have never known their fathers and it's a shame. (SIDE BAR: Ladies if he was a dead beat when you met him WHY would you lay down with him??!! Put a lock on that thang ladies and throw away the key for goodness sakes!! Close your legs!!!) One thing I think people need to learn to do as parents is pray with and for their children. I'm a firm believer in prayer and I've seen it work. Pray for these boys that are out there in the streets trappin and gang banging. Pray for the ones that are growing up without fathers in the home. That's just my stand on it.



"LISTEN TO THE SHOW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK...."

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Comment by sunnydelyte21 on May 21, 2012 at 12:54pm

I couldn't agree more. We need more postive men to become mentors to these young men and show the right way, but the same can be said to female. I have to check out this podcast...

Comment by Lina on September 22, 2011 at 6:24pm
Thank you so much for that, classychick1.  It was such a shock to my family. He was only 22 years old.
Comment by classychick1 on September 22, 2011 at 6:18pm

Lina,  My deepest sympathies and condolences to you and your family upon the passing of your brother. Great post, I totally agree!!!!!

Comment by Lina on September 22, 2011 at 3:53pm

You're so lucky to have had positive male influences in your life.  The funny thing is is that my father was not a deadbeat in the sense that he had a very good career in the Navy. He made it all the way to E-9 (which is not an easy thing to do) and he was highly decorated. So it wasn't like he did not have the money to take care of me and my little brother. And yet I could count on one hand the number of times I saw him in my entire life. He was never there for me and my brother, and sadly my brother past away last year so now he will never get to know his son.  I don't know how any man can go through life knowing they have children out there and not wanting to be a part of their lives.  It's not even about the money. It's about being there to help raise them and offer guidance, especially to their sons.  And on a side note, when you have to watch your own children it's not babysitting, men! It's only babysitting when you are watching children that are not yours.  

 

Baby Sitting: 

Verb: Look after a child or children while the parents are out
Comment by Cousin Ed on June 23, 2011 at 11:09pm
Comment by classychick1 on January 26, 2011 at 8:28pm

Gosh, I could answer this from on so many levels... Fortunately (for him) I loathe my daughter’s father so intensely… I literally just got sick to the point; I can’t even continue to comment on this… SMH

Comment by Jewess on September 23, 2009 at 8:48pm
When i was growing up i learned men were sh--, not because of what i heard but because of what i saw. I either saw one beating a woman, calling one out of their name, disrespecting her by sleeping with her friends, etc. What i saw didn't make me respect men so i developed an attitude of keep them at an arms length or they'll hurt you. Most of these lessons i learned directly from my father. My parents split when i was three, and the men around me were no better example. When it was time to choose my own mate, ok truthfully i wasn't looking for a mate but a fu-- buddy, i needed relief...anyway i went seeking characteristics i thought made a good man. Now years later I now know there are men trying to hold up a standard, trying to love their wives and children as much as they love themselves.
Comment by MsConfident on September 23, 2009 at 8:34pm
~*Ms i agree with you...1000% *~
Comment by LatinTemptress on July 28, 2009 at 11:17am
I grew up with my father for the first 10 yrs of my life then the marriage ended in divorce and we moved to the US from PR. My mom became a single, hard-working parent. As far as male uncles, cousins, etc they had their own families to attend to. We had no father figure after the divorce. IMO, children need their fathers as much as their mothers and I know that although my own father was no longer there for us, that there are good men out there. Men that through circumstance are not allowed to see their children and spend time with them even though the check is in the mail every week. Men that suffer the injustice of the family court's inadequate system that favors a dysfunctional baby momma over a good father. Men that cannot even talk to their child on the phone because their baby momma is a vindictive bitch or her new man is laying up in her home and won't allow this child to speak to his father. I wish I'd had a father there to teach me and guide me and love me so that I wouldn't have had to learn my lessons through trial and error.
I am also going to piggy-back on the comment by Ms.China: Men teach your sons how to treat a woman. Don't teach them that sticking every chick they meet makes them a man and that if he turns down sex with a woman that he is gay or a punk. Teach them to respect women and show your child what a real relationship is by respecting their mother. Show your sons that honest work is the road to success. Teach your daughters that to love themselves and show her love and pride so that no man could ever manipulate her. Teach her that she is worthy of love and respect and teach her to become an independent thinker. Tell your daughters that they are smart and beautiful so that she doesn't need to seek confirmation otherwise. Real men are out there, I know, I am in a committed relationship with one. ;-)
Comment by Ms. China on June 11, 2009 at 4:41pm
I am a 30 year old mother of three. I teach preschool and also attend University of Phoenix online. I have my own house and car. I said all that to say this....I am raising three kids on my own. The fact that their fathers aren't in their lives pushes me to achieve more and more goals each day. I know people will blame what they do on the fact that their mothers or fathers were not in their lives. Children lead by example, my hard work proves to my children that no matter what may come your way you can do it. Yes at times I do get tired but the joy of knowing my kids have a roof over their heads, have food, clothes, and everything else they need fills me with energy. Using the absence of a parent is just another excuse that one person made and everybody liked it. The lack of a parent should push you to become a better role model for your own children. Although my kids fathers are not in their lives I make sure someone in the family knows whats going on with them. Growing up I was raised by only one parent and it wasn't because she didn't want the responsibility. As a woman that didn't make me decide to leave my kids. People often ask my why I consider my mother such a role model. The reason is although she had reason for leaving I refuse to become what my mother was. When I was pregnant with my youngest son my mother became very ill. Now I could have neglected the fact that she was my mother just as she had when I was younger but as a child of God I stepped up and did what I knew was right. I took care of her from May 2002-January 2007 when she passed away. I don't regret one thing that I did for her in her time of need. The problem with the world today is we hold grudges. So what if your baby's father isn't there step up and be both mom and dad. Don't talk down on him in front of your kids, that was a decision you made. What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger!!!! Women its not hard to teach a boy to become a man. I'm sure men in your past have hurt you in some way, teach your son the opposite of what you've been through. Men teach your daughter's that everything that looks good to you is not good for you. You have hurt women tell your daughter what to look for to end the cycle. Stop making excuses for the way your life has turned out its nobody's fault but your own. For every cause there is an effect, don't put others in situations you wouldn't want to be in yourself. And when you do things to hurt your fellow man remember......your kids will one day become adults and you don't want the same thing to happen to them. I am a firm believer that you reap what you sow. I hope my comment has not offended anyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Young, Black, and Fabulous

VIDEO FAB: Usher's "She Came To Give It To You" Ft. Nicki Minaj (And Taylor Paige)

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Just two days after Usher and Nicki Minaj lit up the MTV VMAs stage with a booty-bumping performance of "She Came To Give It To You", Ursh has released the official video.  Check it inside....

 

Usher is back in the club, dancing it up and giving "You Don't Have To Call" tease.  In his brand new video for "She Came To Give It To You," Ursh flexes his dance skills while keeping his eye on one lucky lady in particular - "Hit The Floor" star (and professionally trained ballerina) Taylour Paige.

The singer teams up with Nicki Minaj halfway through the song for her to spit a few bars, and the night ends upside down....on a rooftop.  Chec it below:

 

 

The song serves as the second single from his upcoming eighth studio album, UR.

PR OVERDRIVE: Karrueche Tran & BET ADDRESS The Blue Ivy Hair Drama!–CLAIMS It Was A “Bad Judgment Call”

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Karrueche TRIED it. And the BEYgency definitely didn’t let her get away with it.. Peep the clip that has everyone down Kae’s back and why Kae and BET are issuing apologies inside…

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Now it’s one thing to come for an adult in the entertainment industry. But there’s a fine line when it comes to their kids. And Karrueche crossed that line when she appeared on BET’s “106 & Park” as a gust host yesterday.

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After Beyonce gave us our life with her MTV VMA performance and Blue Ivy melting our hearts when she presented her mom (along with her dad Jay Z) with the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award, came some nationally televised shade. And Kae was the one leaning the palm tree.

During her guest hosting gig on the BET countdown show (standing next to other guest host Brandon Broady), Chris Brown’s on-again/off-again girlfriend participated in a segment called “Top Six Things Blue Ivy Thought About The VMAs.”

Kae chimes in and says, “I really did wake up like this because my parents never comb my hair [laughs] Sorry Blue!”

No really…she said it. And yes, BET was one of the causes of it.  The fact ANYBODY would think THIS type of ish is A-OK to say about a 2-year-old child....on national television....and think it's funny....we just can't.

Check it out below:
 

Hmph! Karruche and her exotical privilege needs to fall back…

Now…we do understand that she was reading from a teleprompter, but it had to occur to her before she started reading that this just...isn't right. Or maybe BET changed things at the last minute? (Could they likely be salty over Bey's BET video performance?)

Either way….you KNOW the BEYgency let Kae HAVE it on social media! And after getting dragged with tweets and retweets for the comments, she offered up an apology. First she tweeted:

 

  

 

Then she issued out an official statement which read,

 

“I am a huge Beyonce fan and I love Blue Ivy. I apologize for the comment and wish I had a chance to review the revised script so that I could have avoided participating in that segment. I love that Blue is able to wear her natural hair. I laugh when I am nervous and when I registered what I had just said, I of course was taken aback.”

And there is at least one BET employee who’s taking up for Karrueche and he’s placing the blame on BET for a bad judgment call. President of Music Programming and Specials for BET Networks Stephen G. Hill issued a series of tweets apologizing for the "unthoughtful" joke and revealed they have already spoke with Bey & Jay and issued an apology to them as well.

He wrote,

 

 

 

 

 

“Last night on 106 & Park there was a stupid, unthoughtful joke made about a young child. We apologize publically to the child’s parents (and have done so privately) and we have taken punitive actions with those responsible. It was very bad judgment and we will serve you much better in the future. Oh, and please don’t hate on Karrueche; it was NOT her fault. We also apologize to her for putting her in that position.”

If they say so…

The fact an employee of a black-focused (yet not black owned) television show even thought for a second this could be funny, says a lot about the BET environment itself.

 

Photos: Getty

COMEBACK CHICK: Paula Patton Returns To The Scene For EMMY Afterparties

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Paula Patton has been of the scene ever since the divorce from Robin Thicke got super real.  And she brought her super toned body to the HBO EMMY afterparty Monday night and Craig's last night.  Check out the newly single woman inside...

Jumping The Broom star Paula Patton is letting the world know she's back on the market.  She reached in the back of her closet and pulled out her skin tight freak 'um dress and heels as she hit the EMMY afterparty scene.

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She was also spotted rolling to Craig's with a couple of guys on protection-status it seems.  The About Last Night star is currently filming Mission Impossible 5 with Tom Cruise.  So it's about time to get back into the mix to get back on her promotion tip.

Looking good Paula...

 

Photos: Splash/Pacific Coast News

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