Will The Real Men PLEASE Stand Up!!!!!!!!

I was listening to Mr. Moody's Neighborhood (shout out to Moody, Cousin Ed, Naturel, and Tracy for an AMAZING show!!) and I was so intrigued by everything the crew had to say. So I'm pretty much just going to be piggy backing off of some of the things they spoke on. Granted there are some extraordinary men in the world and we have a great amount of them right here in the hood. Regardless of that fact there is a significant amount of men (or so called men I should say) who are not stepping up to the plate and taking care of their responsibilities. This is not only fathers I'm speaking on, but also brothers, cousins, uncles, friends, etc. Our young boys and young men are growing up in homes with no positive male influence, no male perspective whatsoever. So they look to other resources, the wrong resources to show them how to behave. Instead of behaving and growing into a commendable young man a lot of these boys are being taught to be drug dealers, thugs, gang bangers, absent fathers, women beaters, rapists, abusers, and so many other things. They use the lives of athletes and entertainers for examples and they try to emulate that behavior. There's no male anywhere to tell these young boys that their behavior is unacceptable. As a result so many of these young boys end up in and out of jail, on the streets for the rest of their lives, or dead. There are even young men who have fathers that live in the home, but the father is so emotionally detached from his child(ren). In my opinion, that's worse than not being there at all. But even when the father is absent from the home physically and/or emotionally where are the brothers, the uncles, the cousins? What are they doing to help raise an upstanding young man? Much respect to those single mothers who are raising young boys because I know it's tough, but in my opinion there are certain things a woman cannot teach a boy for him to grow into a respectable man.

So where are our real men?? Where are the men that will step up and teach our boys how to love their children, how to love their wives, how to be a provider for their families, how to live a life that their children could emulate?? Like it was mentioned in the podcast, it's only about 15% of these men out there. So what's going on with the other 85%? (If you haven't listened to the podcast it's a MUST that you do so.) I wish that there were more men in the world like my father and my grandfather. These men handled their responsibilities as fathers, husbands, and heads of their households. On a personal note I definitely have to commend my father. When my mom passed 7+ years ago my father became a single father of 4. My dad did EVERYTHING in his power to make sure we had all that we needed. He never once ran out on us. He never once let us go without. He'd go hungry before he let my brothers and I go hungry. We NEED more men like that in the world, especially in the black community. There are so many single mothers out there whose children have never known their fathers and it's a shame. (SIDE BAR: Ladies if he was a dead beat when you met him WHY would you lay down with him??!! Put a lock on that thang ladies and throw away the key for goodness sakes!! Close your legs!!!) One thing I think people need to learn to do as parents is pray with and for their children. I'm a firm believer in prayer and I've seen it work. Pray for these boys that are out there in the streets trappin and gang banging. Pray for the ones that are growing up without fathers in the home. That's just my stand on it.


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Comment by sunnydelyte21 on May 21, 2012 at 12:54pm

I couldn't agree more. We need more postive men to become mentors to these young men and show the right way, but the same can be said to female. I have to check out this podcast...

Comment by Lina on September 22, 2011 at 6:24pm
Thank you so much for that, classychick1.  It was such a shock to my family. He was only 22 years old.
Comment by classychick1 on September 22, 2011 at 6:18pm

Lina,  My deepest sympathies and condolences to you and your family upon the passing of your brother. Great post, I totally agree!!!!!

Comment by Lina on September 22, 2011 at 3:53pm

You're so lucky to have had positive male influences in your life.  The funny thing is is that my father was not a deadbeat in the sense that he had a very good career in the Navy. He made it all the way to E-9 (which is not an easy thing to do) and he was highly decorated. So it wasn't like he did not have the money to take care of me and my little brother. And yet I could count on one hand the number of times I saw him in my entire life. He was never there for me and my brother, and sadly my brother past away last year so now he will never get to know his son.  I don't know how any man can go through life knowing they have children out there and not wanting to be a part of their lives.  It's not even about the money. It's about being there to help raise them and offer guidance, especially to their sons.  And on a side note, when you have to watch your own children it's not babysitting, men! It's only babysitting when you are watching children that are not yours.  


Baby Sitting: 

Verb: Look after a child or children while the parents are out
Comment by Cousin Ed on June 23, 2011 at 11:09pm
Comment by classychick1 on January 26, 2011 at 8:28pm

Gosh, I could answer this from on so many levels... Fortunately (for him) I loathe my daughter’s father so intensely… I literally just got sick to the point; I can’t even continue to comment on this… SMH

Comment by Jewess on September 23, 2009 at 8:48pm
When i was growing up i learned men were sh--, not because of what i heard but because of what i saw. I either saw one beating a woman, calling one out of their name, disrespecting her by sleeping with her friends, etc. What i saw didn't make me respect men so i developed an attitude of keep them at an arms length or they'll hurt you. Most of these lessons i learned directly from my father. My parents split when i was three, and the men around me were no better example. When it was time to choose my own mate, ok truthfully i wasn't looking for a mate but a fu-- buddy, i needed relief...anyway i went seeking characteristics i thought made a good man. Now years later I now know there are men trying to hold up a standard, trying to love their wives and children as much as they love themselves.
Comment by MsConfident on September 23, 2009 at 8:34pm
~*Ms i agree with you...1000% *~
Comment by LatinTemptress on July 28, 2009 at 11:17am
I grew up with my father for the first 10 yrs of my life then the marriage ended in divorce and we moved to the US from PR. My mom became a single, hard-working parent. As far as male uncles, cousins, etc they had their own families to attend to. We had no father figure after the divorce. IMO, children need their fathers as much as their mothers and I know that although my own father was no longer there for us, that there are good men out there. Men that through circumstance are not allowed to see their children and spend time with them even though the check is in the mail every week. Men that suffer the injustice of the family court's inadequate system that favors a dysfunctional baby momma over a good father. Men that cannot even talk to their child on the phone because their baby momma is a vindictive bitch or her new man is laying up in her home and won't allow this child to speak to his father. I wish I'd had a father there to teach me and guide me and love me so that I wouldn't have had to learn my lessons through trial and error.
I am also going to piggy-back on the comment by Ms.China: Men teach your sons how to treat a woman. Don't teach them that sticking every chick they meet makes them a man and that if he turns down sex with a woman that he is gay or a punk. Teach them to respect women and show your child what a real relationship is by respecting their mother. Show your sons that honest work is the road to success. Teach your daughters that to love themselves and show her love and pride so that no man could ever manipulate her. Teach her that she is worthy of love and respect and teach her to become an independent thinker. Tell your daughters that they are smart and beautiful so that she doesn't need to seek confirmation otherwise. Real men are out there, I know, I am in a committed relationship with one. ;-)
Comment by Ms. China on June 11, 2009 at 4:41pm
I am a 30 year old mother of three. I teach preschool and also attend University of Phoenix online. I have my own house and car. I said all that to say this....I am raising three kids on my own. The fact that their fathers aren't in their lives pushes me to achieve more and more goals each day. I know people will blame what they do on the fact that their mothers or fathers were not in their lives. Children lead by example, my hard work proves to my children that no matter what may come your way you can do it. Yes at times I do get tired but the joy of knowing my kids have a roof over their heads, have food, clothes, and everything else they need fills me with energy. Using the absence of a parent is just another excuse that one person made and everybody liked it. The lack of a parent should push you to become a better role model for your own children. Although my kids fathers are not in their lives I make sure someone in the family knows whats going on with them. Growing up I was raised by only one parent and it wasn't because she didn't want the responsibility. As a woman that didn't make me decide to leave my kids. People often ask my why I consider my mother such a role model. The reason is although she had reason for leaving I refuse to become what my mother was. When I was pregnant with my youngest son my mother became very ill. Now I could have neglected the fact that she was my mother just as she had when I was younger but as a child of God I stepped up and did what I knew was right. I took care of her from May 2002-January 2007 when she passed away. I don't regret one thing that I did for her in her time of need. The problem with the world today is we hold grudges. So what if your baby's father isn't there step up and be both mom and dad. Don't talk down on him in front of your kids, that was a decision you made. What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger!!!! Women its not hard to teach a boy to become a man. I'm sure men in your past have hurt you in some way, teach your son the opposite of what you've been through. Men teach your daughter's that everything that looks good to you is not good for you. You have hurt women tell your daughter what to look for to end the cycle. Stop making excuses for the way your life has turned out its nobody's fault but your own. For every cause there is an effect, don't put others in situations you wouldn't want to be in yourself. And when you do things to hurt your fellow man remember......your kids will one day become adults and you don't want the same thing to happen to them. I am a firm believer that you reap what you sow. I hope my comment has not offended anyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Young, Black, and Fabulous

BEHIND THE SCENES: Porsha Williams Serves Boobs & Body For KRave + Karrueche Tran SHoots HYPE HAIR

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Both Porsha Williams and Karrueche Tran have recently posed for magazines (KRAVE & Hype Hair) and we've got a few behind the scenes moments.  More inside...

SHEESH!  When your brain isn't your biggest asset, you serve up other ASSets.  And Porsha is owning that mantra.  Chick looks damn good.

Fabulously fit "RHOA" star Porsha Williams covers latest issue of KRAVE Magazine, and we've got a few behind the scenes shoots from her pool/bikini shoot.  By the way, she's the first woman to land a cover of the magazine.  GET IT Porsha!  

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The pics were shot by James Anthony (above) and Porsha tweeted him, "Thanks for letting me be so involved & making me feel comfortable during my #KraveCover Shoot."

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The Dish Nation correspondent is wearing a Pamela Botello bikini on the cover of the “Hot Issue” which hits stands mid-August.


More flicks...

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Hollywood starlet, or whatever, Karrueche Tran recently posed for "Hype Hair" and we've got shoots of her behind-the-scenes.

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Angela B. Logan, who worked with KT during the shoot, wrote on Instagram "Hey everyone! It's @angelablogan. #HypeHair is one of those magazines you never throw out! We hear from readers all the time that they keep returning to look at the styles! The issue featuring @karrueche will be the same! The #HypeHair EIC Adrienne Moore put together a great shoot with some amazing looks. This is one of the Exclusive behind the scene pictures from our shoot with #KarruecheTran today! #karrueche"

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The folks over at Hype Hair say Karrueche's issue will be on stands this fall.  She's sitting pretty these days with modeling and club hosting gigs, plus a few acting gigs to boot.



Photos via Hype Hair IG/Porsha Williams IG


BREAKING DOWN 50 Cent's Finances & Bankruptcy + Safaree Samuels' NEW Girlfriend Speaks, Says She Didn't know Who He Was

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More details are emerging about Curtis Jackson III's finances and the pseudo-lifestyle of riches he perpetuated.  But we're still giving him the side eye.  Find out about his bankruptcy inside and watch Safaree Samuels' new girlfriend in her first interview...

A few months ago, we found out the Curtis Jackson III aka 50 Cent was allegedly broke.  We only found out about his alleged financial struggles after he and his high-powered legal team claimed to a judge that he could not afford to pay $7 Million to Lastonia Leviston (aka Rick Ross' baby momma), after she sued him for posting her sex tape online. That's the backstory.

Since all of that went down, folks have been trying to understand how the Instagram Stunna could possibly be broke? We'll we've got a lil' breakdown. How'd we'd get it? Well....bankruptcy filings are public record. Curtis filed in a Connecticut court Monday and the ish hit the fan aka 'da innanets'.

In federal court, Curtis Jackson III claims he has 25 million in assets, BUT $33 million in liabilities.

-an $8 million Connecticut mansion
-a $572,000 home in Valley Stream, LI,
-an Atlanta home worth $464,000.
-10 million in cash,
-$500,000 worth of cars including three Chevy Suburbans and a 2010 Rolls-Royce.

- $7 million judgment owed to Lastonia
- $18 million debt to Sleek Audio (they sued him after their headphones deal went sour)

-He claims G-Unit Records and G-Unit Brands have cost more than $10 million over the last three years with at least $10.45 million in losses

-He makes $3 million a year from his performing and recording career
-He makes $370,000 from his boxing-promotions company SMS Promotions, and another $771,000 from books, films and touring under his G-Unit, and other, entities.

Monthly expenses:
-He claims $108,000 in monthly expenses, (a $5,745-per-month Bentley car lease; $12,000 in child support for two kids; $5,000/month for gardening, $1,500 for pool maintenance and $9,000/month for security.)
-Since April, the well-dressed rapper has paid more than $330,000 to American Express and another $52,000 to his stylist Erin McSherry.


So.....in some wealthy circles, all of this translates into being broke. But it's the "good" kind of broke....



In other news...

SO.....Zashia Santiago is NOW available for interviews.  No shocker there. If you just asked, "Who is Zashia Santiago?" she is the new girlfriend of Safaree Samuels.  Don't be shady and ask "Who is Safaree Samuels?"

Back to Zashia...like MOST girlfriends of quasi-celebs, she claims that she does not want the spotlight and even said she didn't know who Safaree was when she met him.  BTW.....She is a makeup artist from Miami and she's also the mother of a 10-year-old son named Isaiah.

We have a feeling that we will be seeing and hearing a lot from Zashia. She was "camera ready" for the interview, although she claims , "I don't follow pop culture as much as people would believe. I listen to country."

Girl please....



Photos via 50 Cent's IG

CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?: Azealia Banks & K. Michelle Exchange Jabs On Social Media After Cancelling Joint Tour

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We certainly saw this one coming. Azealia Banks and K. Michelle are throwing shade at one another on Twitter, a week after K cancelled their joint tour. Peep their catty exchange inside….

We knew it was only a matter of time before these two started going at it.  We saw it coming from the minute the tour was announced.

Last week, R&B songstress K. Michelle released a statement announcing that she had to cancel her joint tour with Harlem rap star Azealia Banks.

The ladies were set to rock out on a 20-date tour across North America. But, K pulled the plug on the upcoming shows before it was able to kick off this fall (Sept. 15th). Her reasoning? She didn’t want to over exert herself.  Hmmm...

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K assured everyone there was NO beef between them and said they would join forces on a new track in the future. But that doesn't seem to be the case.

NOW…the unicorn and the mermaid are throwing shade at each other on Twitter over the cancelled project.

It started a few days ago when K tweeted a subliminal message about thankfully dodging a bullet. She tweeted:

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K then tweeted a more personal jab. Although she didn’t say Azealia’s name, it’s pretty clear who she was referring to. She said:

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Bloop! That tweet could have been in response to Azealia announcing she will still hit the road this fall and try to keep some of the dates in order.

Well, we all know the Broke With Expensive Taste raptress wasn’t going to let the Anbody Wanna Buy A Heart singer fire shots without her responding. So she did. And went in. Peep her tweets below (which she has since deleted):

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Yikes! Azealia and her Twitter fingers are lethal. But, K decided to try and take the high road after Azealia’s response. She tweeted:

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Then she tweeted about black women needing to join forces and uplift one another rather than tear each other down. We would definitely agree.  She said:

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True. Buuuuut…you kind of started this one K. The “Ice Princess” then tweeted a response to K’s “let’s lift each other up” comment. She popped back tweeting:

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Sighs...It doesn't look like we're going to get that K. Michelle and Azealia Banks track afterall. 



Photos: Azealia's IG/K's IG/Screenshots via VLAD

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