Will The Real Men PLEASE Stand Up!!!!!!!!

I was listening to Mr. Moody's Neighborhood (shout out to Moody, Cousin Ed, Naturel, and Tracy for an AMAZING show!!) and I was so intrigued by everything the crew had to say. So I'm pretty much just going to be piggy backing off of some of the things they spoke on. Granted there are some extraordinary men in the world and we have a great amount of them right here in the hood. Regardless of that fact there is a significant amount of men (or so called men I should say) who are not stepping up to the plate and taking care of their responsibilities. This is not only fathers I'm speaking on, but also brothers, cousins, uncles, friends, etc. Our young boys and young men are growing up in homes with no positive male influence, no male perspective whatsoever. So they look to other resources, the wrong resources to show them how to behave. Instead of behaving and growing into a commendable young man a lot of these boys are being taught to be drug dealers, thugs, gang bangers, absent fathers, women beaters, rapists, abusers, and so many other things. They use the lives of athletes and entertainers for examples and they try to emulate that behavior. There's no male anywhere to tell these young boys that their behavior is unacceptable. As a result so many of these young boys end up in and out of jail, on the streets for the rest of their lives, or dead. There are even young men who have fathers that live in the home, but the father is so emotionally detached from his child(ren). In my opinion, that's worse than not being there at all. But even when the father is absent from the home physically and/or emotionally where are the brothers, the uncles, the cousins? What are they doing to help raise an upstanding young man? Much respect to those single mothers who are raising young boys because I know it's tough, but in my opinion there are certain things a woman cannot teach a boy for him to grow into a respectable man.

So where are our real men?? Where are the men that will step up and teach our boys how to love their children, how to love their wives, how to be a provider for their families, how to live a life that their children could emulate?? Like it was mentioned in the podcast, it's only about 15% of these men out there. So what's going on with the other 85%? (If you haven't listened to the podcast it's a MUST that you do so.) I wish that there were more men in the world like my father and my grandfather. These men handled their responsibilities as fathers, husbands, and heads of their households. On a personal note I definitely have to commend my father. When my mom passed 7+ years ago my father became a single father of 4. My dad did EVERYTHING in his power to make sure we had all that we needed. He never once ran out on us. He never once let us go without. He'd go hungry before he let my brothers and I go hungry. We NEED more men like that in the world, especially in the black community. There are so many single mothers out there whose children have never known their fathers and it's a shame. (SIDE BAR: Ladies if he was a dead beat when you met him WHY would you lay down with him??!! Put a lock on that thang ladies and throw away the key for goodness sakes!! Close your legs!!!) One thing I think people need to learn to do as parents is pray with and for their children. I'm a firm believer in prayer and I've seen it work. Pray for these boys that are out there in the streets trappin and gang banging. Pray for the ones that are growing up without fathers in the home. That's just my stand on it.


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Comment by sunnydelyte21 on May 21, 2012 at 12:54pm

I couldn't agree more. We need more postive men to become mentors to these young men and show the right way, but the same can be said to female. I have to check out this podcast...

Comment by Lina on September 22, 2011 at 6:24pm
Thank you so much for that, classychick1.  It was such a shock to my family. He was only 22 years old.
Comment by classychick1 on September 22, 2011 at 6:18pm

Lina,  My deepest sympathies and condolences to you and your family upon the passing of your brother. Great post, I totally agree!!!!!

Comment by Lina on September 22, 2011 at 3:53pm

You're so lucky to have had positive male influences in your life.  The funny thing is is that my father was not a deadbeat in the sense that he had a very good career in the Navy. He made it all the way to E-9 (which is not an easy thing to do) and he was highly decorated. So it wasn't like he did not have the money to take care of me and my little brother. And yet I could count on one hand the number of times I saw him in my entire life. He was never there for me and my brother, and sadly my brother past away last year so now he will never get to know his son.  I don't know how any man can go through life knowing they have children out there and not wanting to be a part of their lives.  It's not even about the money. It's about being there to help raise them and offer guidance, especially to their sons.  And on a side note, when you have to watch your own children it's not babysitting, men! It's only babysitting when you are watching children that are not yours.  


Baby Sitting: 

Verb: Look after a child or children while the parents are out
Comment by Cousin Ed on June 23, 2011 at 11:09pm
Comment by classychick1 on January 26, 2011 at 8:28pm

Gosh, I could answer this from on so many levels... Fortunately (for him) I loathe my daughter’s father so intensely… I literally just got sick to the point; I can’t even continue to comment on this… SMH

Comment by Jewess on September 23, 2009 at 8:48pm
When i was growing up i learned men were sh--, not because of what i heard but because of what i saw. I either saw one beating a woman, calling one out of their name, disrespecting her by sleeping with her friends, etc. What i saw didn't make me respect men so i developed an attitude of keep them at an arms length or they'll hurt you. Most of these lessons i learned directly from my father. My parents split when i was three, and the men around me were no better example. When it was time to choose my own mate, ok truthfully i wasn't looking for a mate but a fu-- buddy, i needed relief...anyway i went seeking characteristics i thought made a good man. Now years later I now know there are men trying to hold up a standard, trying to love their wives and children as much as they love themselves.
Comment by MsConfident on September 23, 2009 at 8:34pm
~*Ms i agree with you...1000% *~
Comment by LatinTemptress on July 28, 2009 at 11:17am
I grew up with my father for the first 10 yrs of my life then the marriage ended in divorce and we moved to the US from PR. My mom became a single, hard-working parent. As far as male uncles, cousins, etc they had their own families to attend to. We had no father figure after the divorce. IMO, children need their fathers as much as their mothers and I know that although my own father was no longer there for us, that there are good men out there. Men that through circumstance are not allowed to see their children and spend time with them even though the check is in the mail every week. Men that suffer the injustice of the family court's inadequate system that favors a dysfunctional baby momma over a good father. Men that cannot even talk to their child on the phone because their baby momma is a vindictive bitch or her new man is laying up in her home and won't allow this child to speak to his father. I wish I'd had a father there to teach me and guide me and love me so that I wouldn't have had to learn my lessons through trial and error.
I am also going to piggy-back on the comment by Ms.China: Men teach your sons how to treat a woman. Don't teach them that sticking every chick they meet makes them a man and that if he turns down sex with a woman that he is gay or a punk. Teach them to respect women and show your child what a real relationship is by respecting their mother. Show your sons that honest work is the road to success. Teach your daughters that to love themselves and show her love and pride so that no man could ever manipulate her. Teach her that she is worthy of love and respect and teach her to become an independent thinker. Tell your daughters that they are smart and beautiful so that she doesn't need to seek confirmation otherwise. Real men are out there, I know, I am in a committed relationship with one. ;-)
Comment by Ms. China on June 11, 2009 at 4:41pm
I am a 30 year old mother of three. I teach preschool and also attend University of Phoenix online. I have my own house and car. I said all that to say this....I am raising three kids on my own. The fact that their fathers aren't in their lives pushes me to achieve more and more goals each day. I know people will blame what they do on the fact that their mothers or fathers were not in their lives. Children lead by example, my hard work proves to my children that no matter what may come your way you can do it. Yes at times I do get tired but the joy of knowing my kids have a roof over their heads, have food, clothes, and everything else they need fills me with energy. Using the absence of a parent is just another excuse that one person made and everybody liked it. The lack of a parent should push you to become a better role model for your own children. Although my kids fathers are not in their lives I make sure someone in the family knows whats going on with them. Growing up I was raised by only one parent and it wasn't because she didn't want the responsibility. As a woman that didn't make me decide to leave my kids. People often ask my why I consider my mother such a role model. The reason is although she had reason for leaving I refuse to become what my mother was. When I was pregnant with my youngest son my mother became very ill. Now I could have neglected the fact that she was my mother just as she had when I was younger but as a child of God I stepped up and did what I knew was right. I took care of her from May 2002-January 2007 when she passed away. I don't regret one thing that I did for her in her time of need. The problem with the world today is we hold grudges. So what if your baby's father isn't there step up and be both mom and dad. Don't talk down on him in front of your kids, that was a decision you made. What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger!!!! Women its not hard to teach a boy to become a man. I'm sure men in your past have hurt you in some way, teach your son the opposite of what you've been through. Men teach your daughter's that everything that looks good to you is not good for you. You have hurt women tell your daughter what to look for to end the cycle. Stop making excuses for the way your life has turned out its nobody's fault but your own. For every cause there is an effect, don't put others in situations you wouldn't want to be in yourself. And when you do things to hurt your fellow man remember......your kids will one day become adults and you don't want the same thing to happen to them. I am a firm believer that you reap what you sow. I hope my comment has not offended anyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Young, Black, and Fabulous

NO MORE DRAMA: Karrueche Says She’s 100% Single & Has NO Beef With Rihanna + Chris Brown Apologizes To Tyson Beckford’s Child's Mother

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After all of the drama and foolish activities that went down over Memorial Day Weekend between Chris Brown and Tyson Beckford, Karrueche is now speaking out. She says she's 100% single (so why was Chris mad?) and there’s no beef between her and Rihanna. Meanwhile, her ex-boyfriend Breezy is busy issuing apologies for his antics on social media. Get the latest inside….

This Memorial Day Weekend was very drama-filled after Chris Brown popped off, issuing threats to Chocolate City star Tyson Beckford. Breezy was all up in his feelings after he spotted his ex-girlfriend Karrueche hanging out with the sexy model. And things went totally left on social media. Chris called up his goons, Tyson pulled out his rifles and it appeared to be the makings of an epic showdown between the two had they crossed paths. But, all seems to be back to normal…at least for now.

Now that the dust has settled, so to speak, Kae is speaking out on her current situation with her ex-beau. She stopped by Big Boy’s radio show on Real 92.3 in L.A. to address a few rumors that have been circulating. First things first, she made it crystal clear that she is 100% single! She said she tries her best to keep her distance from Chris so they don’t have to cross paths and she revealed they do not communicate…at all.

The celeb stylist turned actress, who’s starring in the new web series “Vanity,” confirmed how she learned about her ex-boyfriend's new baby. Breezy didn’t have the balls to tell Kae about his daughter Royalty, so she found out just like the rest of us! She said once found out about his infidelity online, she called him up, cursed him out and told him she was DONE...for good this time. Kae said she and Chris were working on repairing their relationship after the love triangle drama with Rihanna, but once she found out he had a baby with someone else in the meantime, she wiped her hands with the situation.

When asked if there was any drama between her and Rihanna, she said, “No, we just dated the same guy. It’s always like a competition thing and they compare us. She is Rihanna, she’s a pop star, she’s beautiful, she makes great music. And I’m just me. I’m growing and working into myself. You can’t really compare us because we’re two completely different girls.”

Well, there you have it. Peep her interview below:

On Instagram recently...

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Yesterday, Kae had folks on Instagram up-in-arms after she posted up a pic of her lip busted with blood coming down the side of her mouth. She captioned, “Rough day in Chicago.”

Some people took it as a joke towards domestic violence and started ranting and raving in the comments. But, she’s likely filming for an upcoming movie. TMZ reports she’s on a set filming a "street fighter" type movie.

Kae is steadily getting work on the movie scene as she will also star in the straight to DVD film 3-Headed Shark Attack (July 2015).


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Chris Brown took to his Twitter yesterday to issue an apology to Tyson Beckford’s son’s mother April Roomet (a stylist/make-up artist) after he came at her sideways during his nasty feud with the sexy model over the weekend.

You’ll recall, Breezy fired off a disturbing tweet that said, “I'm done all this Internet talking blood. Be in Vegas soon. Keep playing ima f*ck ya baby momma and then whoop yo child like he mine." Sighs…

Now, Breezy is “manning up” and apologizing for saying such things in the heat of the moment. He tweeted (read from the bottom up):

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Oh Chris....

In other news...

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Breezy's baby girl Royalty turns 1 today! He sent her a shoutout on IG saying, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY LIL LADY ROYALTY!!!! I Love u" Aww...

Although it seemed like Breezy was turning a new leaf after it was revealed he was a father, it's apparent he still has his moments. Let's hope he'll start thinking more like a father when issues arise and not just react without thinking....

Photos: Kae's IG/Chris' IG

FLY CHICKS: Rihanna Jets To London + Jennifer Lopez Gets Confetti BOMBED By A Clown At LAX

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Rihanna is racking up her frequent flyer miles, jetting out of London after being there for a day. Meanwhile, Jennifer Lopez was spotted at LAX yesterday. Peep their airport candids inside….

Rihanna has been busy working on her upcoming R8 LP, spending much of her time in a NYC studio. In between studio sessions, she has been spotted hanging out with her friends and partying with other celebs such as Drake and Leonardo DiCaprio. But, the Dior spokeswoman had some business to handle overseas, so she hopped on a flight to London and landed there on Tuesday.

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But she didn’t stay long. After doing whatever it is she had to do, she hopped on the first flight out of London. Today, she was spotted arriving at Heathrow Airport to jet out of the British capital.

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The Pop princess was wearing a pair of high-waisted printed jeans, gray crop top, red flats and a gray bomber jacket. And she’s still rocking this fiery orange long hair. Before hopping on her flight, she stopped to give a hug to one adoring fan. Sweet.

Rih’s full-length “Secret Garden IV” episode for Dior was released yesterday. If you haven't seen it yet, check it out HERE.


Another fly chick making her rounds....

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“American Idol” judge Jennifer Lopez made her way through LAX yesterday (debuting shorter hair) to catch a flight to Morocco, Africa. As the 45-year-old stunna walked through the terminal, toting her black Birkin bag, she was stopped by a fan for a quick autograph.

Then THIS happened....

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The “Booty” singer was confetti bombed by a clown, showering her in small pieces of paper as she walked through the airport. The culprit? A clown named Richie the Barber whose known for pulling pranks on celebs.

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But, she didn't seem bothered. She kept on walking towards the terminal to catch her flight. JLo is set to perform at the Mawazine Festival on Friday, May 29th at OLM Souissi stage in Rabat.

Photos: Pacific Coast News/Splash/INF

Tamar Braxton Drops Surprise Single "If I Don't Have You" + Reveals Summer Album Details

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In new music news, reality tv star and talk show hostess Tamar Braxton has a new album coming and she just dropped a surprise new single!  Get the deets inside...


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Attention all Tamartians!  Tamar Braxton has put her stamp on the game this week. In addition to the fourth season premiere of WE Tv's #1 reality series, "Braxton Family Values" (Thursdays @ 9pm), the Grammy-nominated songstress just premiered her latest single "If I Don't Have You" last night on iTunes. The surprise track is the lead single from her forthcoming just announced album, Calling All Lovers, which has been given a July 31st release date.

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But that's not all......

In the weeks ahead, Tamar (and Vince and little Logan) are kicking off her headlining summer tour.  Plus, there's also the return of her daily talk show, "The Real", and taping has begun for the fourth season of "Tamar & Vince" on WE Tv! Whew....

In a statement to the press, Tamar said, "This is the most creative, fun, and busiest time of my life..and I couldn't be happier. The release of my new single 'If I Don't Have You' along with working closely with Vince and my longtime friend L.A. Reid on my new album, plus a packed television production schedule, an exciting new tour, and raising our two-year-old son Logan—all keeps me going 24/7, just the way I like it!"

By the way.....we love this new single. Check it out below:

Photos via Tamar's Instagram

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