Will The Real Men PLEASE Stand Up!!!!!!!!

I was listening to Mr. Moody's Neighborhood (shout out to Moody, Cousin Ed, Naturel, and Tracy for an AMAZING show!!) and I was so intrigued by everything the crew had to say. So I'm pretty much just going to be piggy backing off of some of the things they spoke on. Granted there are some extraordinary men in the world and we have a great amount of them right here in the hood. Regardless of that fact there is a significant amount of men (or so called men I should say) who are not stepping up to the plate and taking care of their responsibilities. This is not only fathers I'm speaking on, but also brothers, cousins, uncles, friends, etc. Our young boys and young men are growing up in homes with no positive male influence, no male perspective whatsoever. So they look to other resources, the wrong resources to show them how to behave. Instead of behaving and growing into a commendable young man a lot of these boys are being taught to be drug dealers, thugs, gang bangers, absent fathers, women beaters, rapists, abusers, and so many other things. They use the lives of athletes and entertainers for examples and they try to emulate that behavior. There's no male anywhere to tell these young boys that their behavior is unacceptable. As a result so many of these young boys end up in and out of jail, on the streets for the rest of their lives, or dead. There are even young men who have fathers that live in the home, but the father is so emotionally detached from his child(ren). In my opinion, that's worse than not being there at all. But even when the father is absent from the home physically and/or emotionally where are the brothers, the uncles, the cousins? What are they doing to help raise an upstanding young man? Much respect to those single mothers who are raising young boys because I know it's tough, but in my opinion there are certain things a woman cannot teach a boy for him to grow into a respectable man.

So where are our real men?? Where are the men that will step up and teach our boys how to love their children, how to love their wives, how to be a provider for their families, how to live a life that their children could emulate?? Like it was mentioned in the podcast, it's only about 15% of these men out there. So what's going on with the other 85%? (If you haven't listened to the podcast it's a MUST that you do so.) I wish that there were more men in the world like my father and my grandfather. These men handled their responsibilities as fathers, husbands, and heads of their households. On a personal note I definitely have to commend my father. When my mom passed 7+ years ago my father became a single father of 4. My dad did EVERYTHING in his power to make sure we had all that we needed. He never once ran out on us. He never once let us go without. He'd go hungry before he let my brothers and I go hungry. We NEED more men like that in the world, especially in the black community. There are so many single mothers out there whose children have never known their fathers and it's a shame. (SIDE BAR: Ladies if he was a dead beat when you met him WHY would you lay down with him??!! Put a lock on that thang ladies and throw away the key for goodness sakes!! Close your legs!!!) One thing I think people need to learn to do as parents is pray with and for their children. I'm a firm believer in prayer and I've seen it work. Pray for these boys that are out there in the streets trappin and gang banging. Pray for the ones that are growing up without fathers in the home. That's just my stand on it.


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Comment by sunnydelyte21 on May 21, 2012 at 12:54pm

I couldn't agree more. We need more postive men to become mentors to these young men and show the right way, but the same can be said to female. I have to check out this podcast...

Comment by Lina on September 22, 2011 at 6:24pm
Thank you so much for that, classychick1.  It was such a shock to my family. He was only 22 years old.
Comment by classychick1 on September 22, 2011 at 6:18pm

Lina,  My deepest sympathies and condolences to you and your family upon the passing of your brother. Great post, I totally agree!!!!!

Comment by Lina on September 22, 2011 at 3:53pm

You're so lucky to have had positive male influences in your life.  The funny thing is is that my father was not a deadbeat in the sense that he had a very good career in the Navy. He made it all the way to E-9 (which is not an easy thing to do) and he was highly decorated. So it wasn't like he did not have the money to take care of me and my little brother. And yet I could count on one hand the number of times I saw him in my entire life. He was never there for me and my brother, and sadly my brother past away last year so now he will never get to know his son.  I don't know how any man can go through life knowing they have children out there and not wanting to be a part of their lives.  It's not even about the money. It's about being there to help raise them and offer guidance, especially to their sons.  And on a side note, when you have to watch your own children it's not babysitting, men! It's only babysitting when you are watching children that are not yours.  


Baby Sitting: 

Verb: Look after a child or children while the parents are out
Comment by Cousin Ed on June 23, 2011 at 11:09pm
Comment by classychick1 on January 26, 2011 at 8:28pm

Gosh, I could answer this from on so many levels... Fortunately (for him) I loathe my daughter’s father so intensely… I literally just got sick to the point; I can’t even continue to comment on this… SMH

Comment by Jewess on September 23, 2009 at 8:48pm
When i was growing up i learned men were sh--, not because of what i heard but because of what i saw. I either saw one beating a woman, calling one out of their name, disrespecting her by sleeping with her friends, etc. What i saw didn't make me respect men so i developed an attitude of keep them at an arms length or they'll hurt you. Most of these lessons i learned directly from my father. My parents split when i was three, and the men around me were no better example. When it was time to choose my own mate, ok truthfully i wasn't looking for a mate but a fu-- buddy, i needed relief...anyway i went seeking characteristics i thought made a good man. Now years later I now know there are men trying to hold up a standard, trying to love their wives and children as much as they love themselves.
Comment by MsConfident on September 23, 2009 at 8:34pm
~*Ms i agree with you...1000% *~
Comment by LatinTemptress on July 28, 2009 at 11:17am
I grew up with my father for the first 10 yrs of my life then the marriage ended in divorce and we moved to the US from PR. My mom became a single, hard-working parent. As far as male uncles, cousins, etc they had their own families to attend to. We had no father figure after the divorce. IMO, children need their fathers as much as their mothers and I know that although my own father was no longer there for us, that there are good men out there. Men that through circumstance are not allowed to see their children and spend time with them even though the check is in the mail every week. Men that suffer the injustice of the family court's inadequate system that favors a dysfunctional baby momma over a good father. Men that cannot even talk to their child on the phone because their baby momma is a vindictive bitch or her new man is laying up in her home and won't allow this child to speak to his father. I wish I'd had a father there to teach me and guide me and love me so that I wouldn't have had to learn my lessons through trial and error.
I am also going to piggy-back on the comment by Ms.China: Men teach your sons how to treat a woman. Don't teach them that sticking every chick they meet makes them a man and that if he turns down sex with a woman that he is gay or a punk. Teach them to respect women and show your child what a real relationship is by respecting their mother. Show your sons that honest work is the road to success. Teach your daughters that to love themselves and show her love and pride so that no man could ever manipulate her. Teach her that she is worthy of love and respect and teach her to become an independent thinker. Tell your daughters that they are smart and beautiful so that she doesn't need to seek confirmation otherwise. Real men are out there, I know, I am in a committed relationship with one. ;-)
Comment by Ms. China on June 11, 2009 at 4:41pm
I am a 30 year old mother of three. I teach preschool and also attend University of Phoenix online. I have my own house and car. I said all that to say this....I am raising three kids on my own. The fact that their fathers aren't in their lives pushes me to achieve more and more goals each day. I know people will blame what they do on the fact that their mothers or fathers were not in their lives. Children lead by example, my hard work proves to my children that no matter what may come your way you can do it. Yes at times I do get tired but the joy of knowing my kids have a roof over their heads, have food, clothes, and everything else they need fills me with energy. Using the absence of a parent is just another excuse that one person made and everybody liked it. The lack of a parent should push you to become a better role model for your own children. Although my kids fathers are not in their lives I make sure someone in the family knows whats going on with them. Growing up I was raised by only one parent and it wasn't because she didn't want the responsibility. As a woman that didn't make me decide to leave my kids. People often ask my why I consider my mother such a role model. The reason is although she had reason for leaving I refuse to become what my mother was. When I was pregnant with my youngest son my mother became very ill. Now I could have neglected the fact that she was my mother just as she had when I was younger but as a child of God I stepped up and did what I knew was right. I took care of her from May 2002-January 2007 when she passed away. I don't regret one thing that I did for her in her time of need. The problem with the world today is we hold grudges. So what if your baby's father isn't there step up and be both mom and dad. Don't talk down on him in front of your kids, that was a decision you made. What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger!!!! Women its not hard to teach a boy to become a man. I'm sure men in your past have hurt you in some way, teach your son the opposite of what you've been through. Men teach your daughter's that everything that looks good to you is not good for you. You have hurt women tell your daughter what to look for to end the cycle. Stop making excuses for the way your life has turned out its nobody's fault but your own. For every cause there is an effect, don't put others in situations you wouldn't want to be in yourself. And when you do things to hurt your fellow man remember......your kids will one day become adults and you don't want the same thing to happen to them. I am a firm believer that you reap what you sow. I hope my comment has not offended anyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Young, Black, and Fabulous

Chris Brown, LaLa Anthony, Lance Gross & More Have A BOWLTASTIC Time Celebrating Terrence J’s Birthday + “The Real” Co-Hosts’ Husbands Take Over The Show

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Terrence J called up a few of his celeb friends to knock down some pins as he celebrated his birthday. Peep the bowltastic party pics of Chris Brown, LaLa Anthony, Lance Gross and more. Also, the husbands of “The Real” co-hosts took over today’s episode. Check it inside….

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“E! News” co-anchor Terrence “J” Jenkins is living life in the fab lane. A few days ago, TJ donated $100,000 to his alma mater North Carolina A&T State University, where he was awarded his very own ‘Terrence J Day.’ And yesterday, the do-gooder had a fun-filled day of knocking down pins at Lucky Strike Hollywood to celebrate his 33rd birthday with a handful of his celeb friends.

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R&B singer Chris Brown took some time from his daddy duties to bowl it up with Terrence J and co. for #StrikeNight.

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Upcoming Fantastic Four and Creed actor Michael B. Jordan is a super busy man these days as he gears up for the release of his Marvel superhero film and shooting scenes for his Rocky spin-off. But, he made sure to make an appearance and get into the bowling action for TJ’s birthday.

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TJ’s good friend LaLa Anthony was also on the scene posing it up with the birthday boy, “The Game” actor Jay Ellis, Michael B. Jordan and party promoter Miss Diddy (The Brand Group) before hitting the lanes.

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After attending this year’s Broccoli City Festival in D.C., sexy “Crisis” star Lance Gross jetted to the west coast to celebrate. He’s currently filming a new film with LaLa titled, Deuces.

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Reality stars Flex & Shanice Anderson and “Hollywood Exes” Shamika Lawrence were in the mix to get their bowl on.

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Non-Fiction singer Ne-Yo came out to support.

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After a super busy press tour his new film, Brotherly Love actor Quincy Brown was on the party scene in L.A. Michael B. Jordan and Quincy had a friendly rivalry going on to see who would take home the winner's trophy.

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Funnyman Tony Rock and "Glee" actress Amber Riley (above, right) also came out to celebrate with the birthday boy. Fun times!

Happy Birthday Terrence J!

On daytime television.....

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The ladies of “The Real” had some fun on the job today. Each of the ladies’ husbands dropped in to take over today’s episode. Tamar Braxton’s husband Vince Herbert, Tamera Mowry Housley’s husband Adam Housley and Jeannie Mai’s husband Freddy Hareis grabbed a seat at the table to dish on their REAL thoughts about the show and to comment on the tea their wives spill about them on the show.

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During their “confessions,” Vince revealed he feels that Tamar shares too much, Adam set the record straight that he does NOT wear socks with sandals and Freddy shared he learns a lot about himself while watching the show. Ha!

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Next, the guys got candid about the moment they realized they were in love with their significant other.

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Vince revealed he fell in love with Tamar one morning after a studio session, which ended with Vince giving Tamar a foot rub. Aww.

Below are the highlights:

Adrienne Bailon: Alright, Vince…

Loni Love: Vince, when did you know?

Adrienne Bailon: [Continued]… when did you know you were in love with Tamar?

Vince Herbert: Umm.

Tamar Braxton: Fast, honey. Very fast!

[The Real audience laughs.]

Vince Herbert: Tamar was cooking for me everyday. She um, made me a cake for my birthday.

Loni Love: So when did you know that you were in love? That's ...

Tamar Braxton: Me?

Loni Love: [Continued]… the question. No, not you. Vince.

Tamar Braxton: Oh, sorry. I thought that was my question.

[Loni Love and The Real audience laughs]

Vince Herbert: I um, when I rubbed your feet that day at the studio.

Tamera Mowry-Housley: Awww.

Tamar Braxton: You did?

Vince Herbert: And I bought you breakfast.

Tamar Braxton: You did!

Vince Herbert: Exactly.

Tamar Braxton: Wait, wait! But not breakfast because he spent the night with me. Wait!

Vince Herbert: No.

Tamar Braxton: Breakfast because we met up early in the morning to go to work…

Vince Herbert: Absolutely.

Tamar Braxton: [Continued]... You have to clarify, Vince!

[The Real hosts laughs.]

Loni Love: And then he rubbed, you rubbed the feet and?

Vince Herbert: Because she walked to the studio and she couldn't catch a cab. She couldn't find a cab to stop.

Tamera Mowry-Housley: Aww.

Vince Herbert: So when she got there, I was like you know, you want something to eat? And she told me she walked, so you know what just let me rub your feet and you can just relax for a while.

Tamar Braxton: That's that whip appeal!

The Real hosts: Awww!

Adrienne Bailon: I love that!

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Adam said he fell in love with his wife and mother of his children after about 10 weeks of dating. He said he had a hard time letting his guard down at first because Tamera is an actress and he wasn’t sure if she was being genuine or “playing a role.”

Below are the highlights:

Adam Housley: I’ve never dated an actress before so when I met Tamera, I was like okay she was real. She was genuine. I was like wait, what's going on here? So it took me a little longer to finally let that guard down…

Adrienne Bailon: Yeah

Adam Housley: [Continued]… So I think probably about maybe eight weeks or so, or ten weeks maybe.

Adrienne Bailon: Really, that quick?

Tamar Braxton: That long?

Adam Housley: Well, she was like right away.

Tamera Mowry Housley: That long…

Tamar Braxton: Ten weeks is a long time to be dating someone.

[Tamera Mowry-Housley laughs.]

Adrienne Bailon: That is so fast.

Adam Housley: No, no, no, no! But we didn't date all the time though. I mean we were seeing each other a couple times a week, so it wasn't like we were there every single night. Well, when she found out that I went on another date, she was like “What?” And I’m like, “Oh, she is serious…"

Loni Love: Ooooh.

Tamera Mowry: But to me, I wasn't dating anyone else...

Adam Housley: But I didn't know that.

Tamera Mowry-Housley: [Continued] ... because I was like oh my gosh, I really like this guy. But we didn't have [gestures air quotes] the talk are we dating exclusively...

Adam Housley: Yeah, I didn't know.

Adrienne Bailon: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tamera Mowry-Housley: [Continued] … so I found out that he was dating another girl…

Adam Housley: But I told her. I went on one date. I told you I went on one date...

Tamera Mowry-Housley: Because I felt it Housley...

[The Real audience cheers and claps]

Tamera Mowry-Housley: And then I asked him.

Loni Love: Whoo! I tell you multi-date. If perfect Adam did it and he still got this catch like Tamera. It's a good thing! alright!

Aww! Now the happily married couple is expecting baby #2! And it's a girl.

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After chatting it up at the round table, the fellas had a little fun with their wives playing the “You Bet Your Husband” game where the guys were quizzed on how well they know they wives, including bra sizes and what their wives wore on their first date.

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Later, they played a game of poker and then hit the dance floor:

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Adorbs! Check your local listings for the air time of today's episode.



Photos: Kass & Ken for The Brand Group/Patrick Wymore/Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc.

Nicki Minaj Performs At A Bar Mitzvah + Mariah Carey Releases "Infinity" (Single)

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Nicki Minaj performed a private concert at one lucky fan's Bar Mitzvah over the weekend. See the pics inside and listen to Mariah Carey's "Infinity" single.  

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Over the weekend, Nicki Minaj made the dreams of one 13-year-old fan come true.

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She performed a private concert at the Bar Mitzvah of one of her biggest fans, Matt.  Afterwards, she and Matt posed with his fellow KenBarbz (pic atop).

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Matt's parents (shown above) even booked retired NBA baller John Starks (above, far left)!  Wow....we can't wait to see what type of party they throw for his 16th birthday!  

Believe it or not, Nicki's performance wasn't all "T-n-A."  She had some words of wisdom for the young guests.  She told the kids, "Get an education, stay in school, and don’t be a slouch or a bum. And ladies, never let a man take care of you. Be your own woman, be your own person.”



Great advice Nicki!


In new music....

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Mariah Carey starts off the week with a new single "Infinity". The song appears on her forthcoming greatest hits album #1 to Infinity, due May 18 via Epic Records. The disc features all 18 of Mariah's Billboard Hot 100 No. 1 singles.  "Infinity" (co-written and co-produced by Mimi) sounds like a throwback to some of Mariah's 90s hits. And we're here for it!

"Why you mad? Talkin' 'bout you're mad
Could it be that you just lost the best you've ever had?
That’s your bag, yup, that’s too bad
Show is over, you ain’t gotta act
Name hold weight like kilos
Boy, you actin' so corny like Fritos
Wouldn’t have none of that without me though
Ain’t none of my business, it's tea though
Outta ammo, gotta reload
If life was a game you're a free throw
It's nothing that you don’t already know

Close the door, lose the key
Leave my heart on the mat for me
I was yours eternally
There’s an end to infinity
To infinity"

Is this song about Nick Cannon? We doubt it.... but it's very catchy and reminds us why we fell in love with Mariah.

Listen to the song below and remember to catch Mariah in Las Vegas at The Colosseum at Caesars Palace on May 6 when she kicks off her residency. 




Photos via Nicki Minaj's Instagram

EXCLUSIVE: Amber Rose Gets Intimate With Former "Moesha" Star Marcus Paulk In New "SISTER CODE" Film

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Amber Rose has a steamy makeout session with former "Moesha" star Marcus Paulk in her latest film, Sister Code.  Check out our exclusive pics of Amber and Marcus "at work" inside...


A few weeks ago we told you about Sister Code, an upcoming feature starring Amber Rose, Drew Sidora and Eva Marcille, and now we have EXCLUSIVE pics from the set.

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In Sister Code, Amber Rose stars as “Lexi”, one of three foster sisters living in LA. Former "Moesha" star Marcus Paulk stars as her love-interest Danger, and we've got some exclusive pics from one of their sexier scenes.  

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But....Danger isn't the only fella Amber "Lexi" Rose hooks up with in the film!  It looks like Lexi enjoys having fun with male companions.

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Sister Code opens May 8th, here's the synopsis:

Sister Code tells the story of three foster sisters (Eva, Amber & Drew) with extremely different personalities whose world is turned upside down when their foster mother passes away. The James sisters then have to lean on one another when a tragic secret is revealed and rely on the teachings their mother instilled in them as children about sticking by one another no matter what.

Eva stars as the shrewd businesswoman Sheila, Drew plays the caregiver Lavae, and Amber is the free-spirited younger sister Lexi. Corey Grant is directing the film and it also stars “Real Husbands of Hollywood” and “Survivor’s Remorse” star Erica Ash, actress Essence Atkins, Duane Martin, Anne-Marie Johnson (who plays the mother) and former “Moesha” star Marcus Paulk.

Photos via Mike Mosely

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