Will The Real Men PLEASE Stand Up!!!!!!!!

I was listening to Mr. Moody's Neighborhood (shout out to Moody, Cousin Ed, Naturel, and Tracy for an AMAZING show!!) and I was so intrigued by everything the crew had to say. So I'm pretty much just going to be piggy backing off of some of the things they spoke on. Granted there are some extraordinary men in the world and we have a great amount of them right here in the hood. Regardless of that fact there is a significant amount of men (or so called men I should say) who are not stepping up to the plate and taking care of their responsibilities. This is not only fathers I'm speaking on, but also brothers, cousins, uncles, friends, etc. Our young boys and young men are growing up in homes with no positive male influence, no male perspective whatsoever. So they look to other resources, the wrong resources to show them how to behave. Instead of behaving and growing into a commendable young man a lot of these boys are being taught to be drug dealers, thugs, gang bangers, absent fathers, women beaters, rapists, abusers, and so many other things. They use the lives of athletes and entertainers for examples and they try to emulate that behavior. There's no male anywhere to tell these young boys that their behavior is unacceptable. As a result so many of these young boys end up in and out of jail, on the streets for the rest of their lives, or dead. There are even young men who have fathers that live in the home, but the father is so emotionally detached from his child(ren). In my opinion, that's worse than not being there at all. But even when the father is absent from the home physically and/or emotionally where are the brothers, the uncles, the cousins? What are they doing to help raise an upstanding young man? Much respect to those single mothers who are raising young boys because I know it's tough, but in my opinion there are certain things a woman cannot teach a boy for him to grow into a respectable man.

So where are our real men?? Where are the men that will step up and teach our boys how to love their children, how to love their wives, how to be a provider for their families, how to live a life that their children could emulate?? Like it was mentioned in the podcast, it's only about 15% of these men out there. So what's going on with the other 85%? (If you haven't listened to the podcast it's a MUST that you do so.) I wish that there were more men in the world like my father and my grandfather. These men handled their responsibilities as fathers, husbands, and heads of their households. On a personal note I definitely have to commend my father. When my mom passed 7+ years ago my father became a single father of 4. My dad did EVERYTHING in his power to make sure we had all that we needed. He never once ran out on us. He never once let us go without. He'd go hungry before he let my brothers and I go hungry. We NEED more men like that in the world, especially in the black community. There are so many single mothers out there whose children have never known their fathers and it's a shame. (SIDE BAR: Ladies if he was a dead beat when you met him WHY would you lay down with him??!! Put a lock on that thang ladies and throw away the key for goodness sakes!! Close your legs!!!) One thing I think people need to learn to do as parents is pray with and for their children. I'm a firm believer in prayer and I've seen it work. Pray for these boys that are out there in the streets trappin and gang banging. Pray for the ones that are growing up without fathers in the home. That's just my stand on it.


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Comment by sunnydelyte21 on May 21, 2012 at 12:54pm

I couldn't agree more. We need more postive men to become mentors to these young men and show the right way, but the same can be said to female. I have to check out this podcast...

Comment by Lina on September 22, 2011 at 6:24pm
Thank you so much for that, classychick1.  It was such a shock to my family. He was only 22 years old.
Comment by classychick1 on September 22, 2011 at 6:18pm

Lina,  My deepest sympathies and condolences to you and your family upon the passing of your brother. Great post, I totally agree!!!!!

Comment by Lina on September 22, 2011 at 3:53pm

You're so lucky to have had positive male influences in your life.  The funny thing is is that my father was not a deadbeat in the sense that he had a very good career in the Navy. He made it all the way to E-9 (which is not an easy thing to do) and he was highly decorated. So it wasn't like he did not have the money to take care of me and my little brother. And yet I could count on one hand the number of times I saw him in my entire life. He was never there for me and my brother, and sadly my brother past away last year so now he will never get to know his son.  I don't know how any man can go through life knowing they have children out there and not wanting to be a part of their lives.  It's not even about the money. It's about being there to help raise them and offer guidance, especially to their sons.  And on a side note, when you have to watch your own children it's not babysitting, men! It's only babysitting when you are watching children that are not yours.  


Baby Sitting: 

Verb: Look after a child or children while the parents are out
Comment by Cousin Ed on June 23, 2011 at 11:09pm
Comment by classychick1 on January 26, 2011 at 8:28pm

Gosh, I could answer this from on so many levels... Fortunately (for him) I loathe my daughter’s father so intensely… I literally just got sick to the point; I can’t even continue to comment on this… SMH

Comment by Jewess on September 23, 2009 at 8:48pm
When i was growing up i learned men were sh--, not because of what i heard but because of what i saw. I either saw one beating a woman, calling one out of their name, disrespecting her by sleeping with her friends, etc. What i saw didn't make me respect men so i developed an attitude of keep them at an arms length or they'll hurt you. Most of these lessons i learned directly from my father. My parents split when i was three, and the men around me were no better example. When it was time to choose my own mate, ok truthfully i wasn't looking for a mate but a fu-- buddy, i needed relief...anyway i went seeking characteristics i thought made a good man. Now years later I now know there are men trying to hold up a standard, trying to love their wives and children as much as they love themselves.
Comment by MsConfident on September 23, 2009 at 8:34pm
~*Ms i agree with you...1000% *~
Comment by LatinTemptress on July 28, 2009 at 11:17am
I grew up with my father for the first 10 yrs of my life then the marriage ended in divorce and we moved to the US from PR. My mom became a single, hard-working parent. As far as male uncles, cousins, etc they had their own families to attend to. We had no father figure after the divorce. IMO, children need their fathers as much as their mothers and I know that although my own father was no longer there for us, that there are good men out there. Men that through circumstance are not allowed to see their children and spend time with them even though the check is in the mail every week. Men that suffer the injustice of the family court's inadequate system that favors a dysfunctional baby momma over a good father. Men that cannot even talk to their child on the phone because their baby momma is a vindictive bitch or her new man is laying up in her home and won't allow this child to speak to his father. I wish I'd had a father there to teach me and guide me and love me so that I wouldn't have had to learn my lessons through trial and error.
I am also going to piggy-back on the comment by Ms.China: Men teach your sons how to treat a woman. Don't teach them that sticking every chick they meet makes them a man and that if he turns down sex with a woman that he is gay or a punk. Teach them to respect women and show your child what a real relationship is by respecting their mother. Show your sons that honest work is the road to success. Teach your daughters that to love themselves and show her love and pride so that no man could ever manipulate her. Teach her that she is worthy of love and respect and teach her to become an independent thinker. Tell your daughters that they are smart and beautiful so that she doesn't need to seek confirmation otherwise. Real men are out there, I know, I am in a committed relationship with one. ;-)
Comment by Ms. China on June 11, 2009 at 4:41pm
I am a 30 year old mother of three. I teach preschool and also attend University of Phoenix online. I have my own house and car. I said all that to say this....I am raising three kids on my own. The fact that their fathers aren't in their lives pushes me to achieve more and more goals each day. I know people will blame what they do on the fact that their mothers or fathers were not in their lives. Children lead by example, my hard work proves to my children that no matter what may come your way you can do it. Yes at times I do get tired but the joy of knowing my kids have a roof over their heads, have food, clothes, and everything else they need fills me with energy. Using the absence of a parent is just another excuse that one person made and everybody liked it. The lack of a parent should push you to become a better role model for your own children. Although my kids fathers are not in their lives I make sure someone in the family knows whats going on with them. Growing up I was raised by only one parent and it wasn't because she didn't want the responsibility. As a woman that didn't make me decide to leave my kids. People often ask my why I consider my mother such a role model. The reason is although she had reason for leaving I refuse to become what my mother was. When I was pregnant with my youngest son my mother became very ill. Now I could have neglected the fact that she was my mother just as she had when I was younger but as a child of God I stepped up and did what I knew was right. I took care of her from May 2002-January 2007 when she passed away. I don't regret one thing that I did for her in her time of need. The problem with the world today is we hold grudges. So what if your baby's father isn't there step up and be both mom and dad. Don't talk down on him in front of your kids, that was a decision you made. What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger!!!! Women its not hard to teach a boy to become a man. I'm sure men in your past have hurt you in some way, teach your son the opposite of what you've been through. Men teach your daughter's that everything that looks good to you is not good for you. You have hurt women tell your daughter what to look for to end the cycle. Stop making excuses for the way your life has turned out its nobody's fault but your own. For every cause there is an effect, don't put others in situations you wouldn't want to be in yourself. And when you do things to hurt your fellow man remember......your kids will one day become adults and you don't want the same thing to happen to them. I am a firm believer that you reap what you sow. I hope my comment has not offended anyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Young, Black, and Fabulous

SOCIAL MEDIA SHENANIGANS: 50 Cent BLASTS A$AP Rocky For DM'n Tatted Up Holly, A$AP Responds + Trey Songz Throws Subliminal SHOT At 50!

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50 Cent, A$AP Rocky & Trey Songz seem to be throwing jabs at one another on social media. Find out what they’re “IG BEEFIN’” about inside…

As the Instagram turns!

50 Cent is back to doing what he does best…throwing shots at people on social media. And this time he turns his attention to rapper A$AP Rocky after he slid into Tatted Up Holly’s direct messages recently.

Apparently, 50 spends his time checking Tatted Up Holly’s direct messages on Instagram. And if he finds something he doesn’t like, you know he’s going to speak on it. The “Power” producer took to his Instagram to post a screenshot of A$AP pursuing Holly, in which he said:

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"Boy of boy, last time I seen this punk he had a dress on. You can't afford holly I gave her habits, get your weight up first boy. Bentley and better over here, n!gga can you buy that? f*ck you think I'm Kanye and you Wiz lol"


Oh Fif...he belittles A$AP (calling him "boy" and saying he's BROKE) and name drops Kanye West and Wiz Khalifa. A$AP decided he wasn't going to take the jabs lying down, so he took to his Twitter account to pop back at 50 (read from the bottom up):

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It’s interesting to note, a few days ago 50 BLASTED Holly (who is supposedly his main chick) on his IG, calling her “community p*ssy”, alluding she has slept with Trey Songz and a few other high-profile celebs. 50 calling her "community p*ssy" was his response after Holly took to Instagram to blast him for allegedly assaulting her. So if he's checking her direct messages now, have they kissed and made up? Sighs....

Now, Trigga is clapping back (joining A$AP), throwing subliminal shade towards 50. He tweeted:

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These guys and their social media shenanigans...


Photos: 50's IG/A$AP's IG

Eva Marcille & Kevin McCall’s Daughter Marley Rae CELEBRATES Turning 1 With A Birthday Bash, Kevin Does NOT Attend

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Cute little Marley Rae celebrated her first birthday yesterday with her mom Eva Marcille, Omarion and Apryl Jones’ son Megaa, family and friends. But one person was notably missing, her father Kevin McCall. And he had plenty to say about it. Deets inside….

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Eva Marcille and Kevin McCall’s daughter Marley Rae is already 1! Can you believe it? Time sure flies.

The little bundle of cuteness, who they affectionately call "Beans", was the baby of the hour as she celebrated her first birthday with family and friends of her own. The birthday festivities came complete with inflatables, balloons and of course, cake.

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Omarion and Apryl Jones' adorable son Megaa was on the scene to party it up with the birthday girl. Aww...cuteness overload.

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Little Marley Rae was all smiles as she jumped around in the bouncy house and trotted around on the shoulders of her mother's cousin/make-up artist Terrell Mullins.

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While the kids were playing, mama Eva snapped it up and got silly with her homies who came out to celebrate her baby girl's first birthday.

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And little Marley was super cute in her "Little Mermaid" birthday hat. She looks ready for some cake.

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Before heading to the party, Apryl and Megaa snapped a darling "us"ie.


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While his daughter had a ball at her birthday party, Kevin McCall appeared to be an outsider looking in via social media. We're not sure if he was invited and just decided not to come OR if he wasn't invited at all. What we do know is he wasn't there. And he made sure to let everyone know he wasn't there with his latest Instagram postings. He sadly captiopned,

Well these pictures will do it's jus a day...I'm full of Joy and thankful you spent your 1st bday with those who love you...don't trip I got next one #AngelsAllAround #marleyxoxo @TerrellMullin

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While preparing to step during the Black College Expo at the LA Convention Center, he posted another shot of his baby girl saying, "Ooh look at #jenesis143 lil twin lol happy bday #marleyxoxo bet it was Perfect!!!! many more to come my Twin".

He also posted the picture of Marley and Megaa to his IG with the caption, "awe man it's happening already but I'm rest assure your POPS #omarion raised you to be true King. And the way Kings treat Queens goes without saying so u Good with O.G papa Mac #marleyxoxo"

Sucks he wasn't there, but maybe he should lay off the social media antics (remember when he posted a phone convo between him and Eva about seeing Marley?) so he and Eva can sit down and figure this all out for Marley's sake.


Photos: @kevinmccalljr/@TerrellMullin/@aprylsjones/@ejking21


UPDATE: Bobbi Kristina Reportedly Put On A Ventilator With Her Father Bobby Brown At Her Bedside, Drug Overdose Suspected

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Updates are pouring in on Bobbi Kristina’s condition after she was found unresponsive in a bathtub inside of her home. Reports now say she has been placed on ventilator to help her breath and her father Bobby Brown is now by her side. Get the latest inside….

Shocking news of Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown’s daughter Bobbi Kristina (Brown) Houston Gordon swept the Interwebs after she was found unresponsive facedown in a bathtub in the home she shares with her husband Nick Gordon Saturday morning (Jan. 31st). Nick and a friend reportedly performed CPR on the 21-year-old until an ambulance whisked her off to a hospital in Roswell, GA. She is still alive, but she's not out of the woods yet.

Sources previously revealed Bobbi was put into a medically induced coma due to brain swelling. And now new reports state she has placed on a ventilator to help regulate her breathing.

Police are now investigating whether or not drugs played a part in her ordeal, although sources close to the family say this was NOT a suicide attempt.

According to TMZ, her father Bobby Brown has made his way to his daughter’s bedside. It’s said Tyler Perry was in L.A. on his way to Atlanta for business when he offered to take Bobby Brown with him once he heard of the sad news.

This whole situation is so eerie being that her mother Whitney Houston was found unresponsive in a bathtub at the Beverly Hilton Hotel and eventually was pronounced dead on February 11th three years ago. Her death was eventually ruled as an accidential drowning after the combination of cocaine found in her system with the effects of atherosclerotic heart disease being the cause.

We're keeping Bobbi Kris in our prayers and we'll keep you updated on her condition.

Photo: Bobbi's IG

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