Will The Real Men PLEASE Stand Up!!!!!!!!

I was listening to Mr. Moody's Neighborhood (shout out to Moody, Cousin Ed, Naturel, and Tracy for an AMAZING show!!) and I was so intrigued by everything the crew had to say. So I'm pretty much just going to be piggy backing off of some of the things they spoke on. Granted there are some extraordinary men in the world and we have a great amount of them right here in the hood. Regardless of that fact there is a significant amount of men (or so called men I should say) who are not stepping up to the plate and taking care of their responsibilities. This is not only fathers I'm speaking on, but also brothers, cousins, uncles, friends, etc. Our young boys and young men are growing up in homes with no positive male influence, no male perspective whatsoever. So they look to other resources, the wrong resources to show them how to behave. Instead of behaving and growing into a commendable young man a lot of these boys are being taught to be drug dealers, thugs, gang bangers, absent fathers, women beaters, rapists, abusers, and so many other things. They use the lives of athletes and entertainers for examples and they try to emulate that behavior. There's no male anywhere to tell these young boys that their behavior is unacceptable. As a result so many of these young boys end up in and out of jail, on the streets for the rest of their lives, or dead. There are even young men who have fathers that live in the home, but the father is so emotionally detached from his child(ren). In my opinion, that's worse than not being there at all. But even when the father is absent from the home physically and/or emotionally where are the brothers, the uncles, the cousins? What are they doing to help raise an upstanding young man? Much respect to those single mothers who are raising young boys because I know it's tough, but in my opinion there are certain things a woman cannot teach a boy for him to grow into a respectable man.

So where are our real men?? Where are the men that will step up and teach our boys how to love their children, how to love their wives, how to be a provider for their families, how to live a life that their children could emulate?? Like it was mentioned in the podcast, it's only about 15% of these men out there. So what's going on with the other 85%? (If you haven't listened to the podcast it's a MUST that you do so.) I wish that there were more men in the world like my father and my grandfather. These men handled their responsibilities as fathers, husbands, and heads of their households. On a personal note I definitely have to commend my father. When my mom passed 7+ years ago my father became a single father of 4. My dad did EVERYTHING in his power to make sure we had all that we needed. He never once ran out on us. He never once let us go without. He'd go hungry before he let my brothers and I go hungry. We NEED more men like that in the world, especially in the black community. There are so many single mothers out there whose children have never known their fathers and it's a shame. (SIDE BAR: Ladies if he was a dead beat when you met him WHY would you lay down with him??!! Put a lock on that thang ladies and throw away the key for goodness sakes!! Close your legs!!!) One thing I think people need to learn to do as parents is pray with and for their children. I'm a firm believer in prayer and I've seen it work. Pray for these boys that are out there in the streets trappin and gang banging. Pray for the ones that are growing up without fathers in the home. That's just my stand on it.


Views: 249


You need to be a member of My Next Door Neighbor! to add comments!

Join My Next Door Neighbor!

Comment by sunnydelyte21 on May 21, 2012 at 12:54pm

I couldn't agree more. We need more postive men to become mentors to these young men and show the right way, but the same can be said to female. I have to check out this podcast...

Comment by Lina on September 22, 2011 at 6:24pm
Thank you so much for that, classychick1.  It was such a shock to my family. He was only 22 years old.
Comment by classychick1 on September 22, 2011 at 6:18pm

Lina,  My deepest sympathies and condolences to you and your family upon the passing of your brother. Great post, I totally agree!!!!!

Comment by Lina on September 22, 2011 at 3:53pm

You're so lucky to have had positive male influences in your life.  The funny thing is is that my father was not a deadbeat in the sense that he had a very good career in the Navy. He made it all the way to E-9 (which is not an easy thing to do) and he was highly decorated. So it wasn't like he did not have the money to take care of me and my little brother. And yet I could count on one hand the number of times I saw him in my entire life. He was never there for me and my brother, and sadly my brother past away last year so now he will never get to know his son.  I don't know how any man can go through life knowing they have children out there and not wanting to be a part of their lives.  It's not even about the money. It's about being there to help raise them and offer guidance, especially to their sons.  And on a side note, when you have to watch your own children it's not babysitting, men! It's only babysitting when you are watching children that are not yours.  


Baby Sitting: 

Verb: Look after a child or children while the parents are out
Comment by Cousin Ed on June 23, 2011 at 11:09pm
Comment by classychick1 on January 26, 2011 at 8:28pm

Gosh, I could answer this from on so many levels... Fortunately (for him) I loathe my daughter’s father so intensely… I literally just got sick to the point; I can’t even continue to comment on this… SMH

Comment by Jewess on September 23, 2009 at 8:48pm
When i was growing up i learned men were sh--, not because of what i heard but because of what i saw. I either saw one beating a woman, calling one out of their name, disrespecting her by sleeping with her friends, etc. What i saw didn't make me respect men so i developed an attitude of keep them at an arms length or they'll hurt you. Most of these lessons i learned directly from my father. My parents split when i was three, and the men around me were no better example. When it was time to choose my own mate, ok truthfully i wasn't looking for a mate but a fu-- buddy, i needed relief...anyway i went seeking characteristics i thought made a good man. Now years later I now know there are men trying to hold up a standard, trying to love their wives and children as much as they love themselves.
Comment by MsConfident on September 23, 2009 at 8:34pm
~*Ms i agree with you...1000% *~
Comment by LatinTemptress on July 28, 2009 at 11:17am
I grew up with my father for the first 10 yrs of my life then the marriage ended in divorce and we moved to the US from PR. My mom became a single, hard-working parent. As far as male uncles, cousins, etc they had their own families to attend to. We had no father figure after the divorce. IMO, children need their fathers as much as their mothers and I know that although my own father was no longer there for us, that there are good men out there. Men that through circumstance are not allowed to see their children and spend time with them even though the check is in the mail every week. Men that suffer the injustice of the family court's inadequate system that favors a dysfunctional baby momma over a good father. Men that cannot even talk to their child on the phone because their baby momma is a vindictive bitch or her new man is laying up in her home and won't allow this child to speak to his father. I wish I'd had a father there to teach me and guide me and love me so that I wouldn't have had to learn my lessons through trial and error.
I am also going to piggy-back on the comment by Ms.China: Men teach your sons how to treat a woman. Don't teach them that sticking every chick they meet makes them a man and that if he turns down sex with a woman that he is gay or a punk. Teach them to respect women and show your child what a real relationship is by respecting their mother. Show your sons that honest work is the road to success. Teach your daughters that to love themselves and show her love and pride so that no man could ever manipulate her. Teach her that she is worthy of love and respect and teach her to become an independent thinker. Tell your daughters that they are smart and beautiful so that she doesn't need to seek confirmation otherwise. Real men are out there, I know, I am in a committed relationship with one. ;-)
Comment by Ms. China on June 11, 2009 at 4:41pm
I am a 30 year old mother of three. I teach preschool and also attend University of Phoenix online. I have my own house and car. I said all that to say this....I am raising three kids on my own. The fact that their fathers aren't in their lives pushes me to achieve more and more goals each day. I know people will blame what they do on the fact that their mothers or fathers were not in their lives. Children lead by example, my hard work proves to my children that no matter what may come your way you can do it. Yes at times I do get tired but the joy of knowing my kids have a roof over their heads, have food, clothes, and everything else they need fills me with energy. Using the absence of a parent is just another excuse that one person made and everybody liked it. The lack of a parent should push you to become a better role model for your own children. Although my kids fathers are not in their lives I make sure someone in the family knows whats going on with them. Growing up I was raised by only one parent and it wasn't because she didn't want the responsibility. As a woman that didn't make me decide to leave my kids. People often ask my why I consider my mother such a role model. The reason is although she had reason for leaving I refuse to become what my mother was. When I was pregnant with my youngest son my mother became very ill. Now I could have neglected the fact that she was my mother just as she had when I was younger but as a child of God I stepped up and did what I knew was right. I took care of her from May 2002-January 2007 when she passed away. I don't regret one thing that I did for her in her time of need. The problem with the world today is we hold grudges. So what if your baby's father isn't there step up and be both mom and dad. Don't talk down on him in front of your kids, that was a decision you made. What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger!!!! Women its not hard to teach a boy to become a man. I'm sure men in your past have hurt you in some way, teach your son the opposite of what you've been through. Men teach your daughter's that everything that looks good to you is not good for you. You have hurt women tell your daughter what to look for to end the cycle. Stop making excuses for the way your life has turned out its nobody's fault but your own. For every cause there is an effect, don't put others in situations you wouldn't want to be in yourself. And when you do things to hurt your fellow man remember......your kids will one day become adults and you don't want the same thing to happen to them. I am a firm believer that you reap what you sow. I hope my comment has not offended anyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Young, Black, and Fabulous

#ESSENCEFEST: Common, India Arie, Meagan Good, Morris Chestnut & MANY More CELEBRATE In New Orleans -- Tons Of Pics!

 photo ee5.jpg

The 2015 ESSENCE Festival is in full swing down in The Big Easy. And we’ve rounded up a massive amount of pics of your YBF faves celebrating during the holiday weekend. Check ‘em inside….

Happy 4th of July!

ESSENCE Festival 2015 is poppin’ with plenty of events, performances, celeb panels for an exciting line-up in New Orleans.

Chi-town rapper Common hit the Samsung stage alongside “The Real” co-host Adrienne Bailon to chop it up about his career and the amazing year he’s having after winning the Best Original Song Academy Award for his collaboration with John Legend, “Glory.”

 photo ee2.jpg

During the chat, the sexy actor/rapper reflected on his experience working on the Oscar-nominated civil rights film, SELMA, where he revealed, "Selma was one of the most inspiring experiences I've ever had."

We’re sure! Winning your first Academy Award for your contribution to the blockbuster film certainly make it THAT much sweeter.  

 photo ee7.jpg

Upcoming FOX lead stars Morris Chestnut and Meagan Good were busy making their rounds and promoting their new projects in the Big Easy.

Meagan is set to star in the sci-fi thriller “Minority Report,” where she will play detective Lara Vega. Meanwhile, Morris will lead “Rosewood,” where he plays gifted pathologist Dr. Beaumont Rosewood, Jr. And that’s not all the tall, dark and handsome actor is up to.

He will be starring and producing The Perfect Guy—alongside Sanaa Lathan & Michael Ealy— which is expected to hit theaters September 11th. He’s also starring and producing a new drama flick titled, The Syndicate and starring in another thriller with Robert DeNiro and “Grey’s Anatomy” star Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Bus 657. Not only that, he's also shooting scenes for an upcoming thriller, starring Regina Hall, titled, When The Bough Breaks.

Who's ready for some chocolate? We sure are.

 photo ee6.jpg

“Real Housewives of Atlanta” star Cynthia Bailey and her husband Peter Thomas are still portraying a happy family front after those nasty cheating allegations surfaced. It appears Peter had one too many one night and was caught in a comprising situation with a female. Get those juicy deets HERE.

Hitting the stage....

 photo ee1.jpg

Soul songstress India Arie wowed the audience with her smooth vocals crooning over her classic hits such as “Brown Skin” and “Video.” She also debuted a brand new track titled. “He’s Got The Magic” as she provided the melody with her guitar.

Also, Ms. Arie is adding author to her resume with a new book titled “Songversation: I Am Light.” And there’s an accompanying soundtrack to go with it. Check it out here.

By the way, she's looking good.

And for the old-school heads ….

 photo ee4.jpg

 photo ee3.jpg

Charlie Wilson and Maze ft. Frankie Beverly tore the house down with their lively performances. Uncle Charlie took the Superdome to CHURCH! Meanwhile, Frankie Beverly and Maze had everyone on their feet doing the cookout classic dance, Electric Slide.

We KNOW someone of you will be hitting the electric slide during your 4th of July cookouts this weekend. Head on over to our Instagram page (@TheYBFDaily) and post ‘em up using the hashtag #YBFINDEPENDENCEDAY. We can’t wait to see them and share!

Check out our FULL GALLERY of pics below, including Keke Palmer, Monica, Jurnee & Jussie Smollett and MANY more invading #ESSENCEFEST...


Photos: Paras Griffin/Getty/Splash/WENN

KeKe Palmer Had An Unusual 21st Birthday...And It's Why We Love Her [VIDEO]

  photo spl1070735_004_zpsdmmtf3tn.jpg

Cutie KeKe Palmer is a laser focused YBF chick.  So focused that she did the opposite of what most 21-year-olds do on their birthday.  Find out what she contributes all this success to inside...

Last night at the Essence Music Festival, TheYBF.com went backstage at the Superdome with KeKe Palmer to hear how she's successfully getting her 'grown woman' on in a tricky business.

 photo spl1070735_007_zpsgmjuzovb.jpg

While rocking sexy short shorts by 3x1, a plaid button up by Storets, and hot Loeffler Randall tassel sandals, KeKe dished on why her transition from being a Nickelodeon kid star to a mature adult star was harder than it looked for her.

Chick has been nabbing roles left and right.  She became the first black Cinderella on Broadway, landed Fox's upcoming show "Scream Queens," will be starring in the live NBC production of Grease, starred in box office flick Brotherly Love and Showtime's hit "Masters of Se"x...all in less than two years.  So she makes being 21 in Hollywood look easy right?

Not necessarily.  She attributes staying booked to her laser focus and sacrifice.  She even sacrificed celebrating her 21st birthday with big parties and long nights of cutting up, because she was in the zone on Broadway.

"It was actually a pretty quick 21st birthday because I was rehearsing for Cinderella at the time.  The type of person I am, once I'm the zone you can forget about getting me out of that zone.  It takes a lot for me to kind of let loose because I've always had this [go, go, go] type of personality working and very disciplined is what it would be.  When I went to Broadway, my discipline went to another level."

She went on to explain how Broadway completely pushed her and changed her as an artist and as a person.  We love a focused and ambitious YBF chick who's willing to make sacrifices and put in the WORK to be a classic success story.

Check out video below.  Keke, who turns 22 next month, also dished on never focusing on transitioning from child star to adult star because it would have completely ruined her:


Photos: Splash / Videos: James Turner for TheYBF.com

TENNIS HOTTIES: Sexy German Player Dustin Brown Has Us Watching Wimbledon + Serena Williams Rises Through The Ranks

 photo tennis4.jpg

Wimbledon 2015 is currently going down in London. TheYBF.com has spotted some German eye-candy and he goes by the name Dustin Brown. Now we have another reason to watch.  Come inside for the deets on the sexy tennis star who's making shocking moves on the court, and find out where Serena Williams stands in the competition ….

 photo tennis2.jpg

We love fresh faces of YBF folks who are doing it up in their respective fields. And it helps when they’re utterly HOT.

Meet German-Jamaican tennis star Dustin Brown. The tennis hottie has everyone taking notice after he surprisingly eliminated two-time Wimbledon champ Rafael Nadal of Spain in the Wimbledon Gentlemen’s Singles second round match at the All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club earlier this week.

After catching our eye (because let’s face it, he’s very easy on the eyes), we did a little digging and found a few interesting facts about the sexy athlete:

1. The 30-year-old tennis player was born Celle, West Germany on December 8, 1984 to parents Inge and Leroy. In 1996, Dustin and his parents moved to his father’s birth country Montego Bay, Jamaica.
2. He has been growing his dreads for 19 years.
3. He has a tongue piercing.
4. He has a massive portrait tattoo of his father Leroy tatted on his stomach. You see him patting his tat after defeating Rafael Nadal (below).

 photo tennis3.jpg

 photo tennis8.jpg

Riding high off his exciting victory, he hit the tennis court today to battle it out against Serbian player Viktor Troicki. Unfortunately, Serbia’s 22 seed eliminated Dustin from the tournament, BUT he remained optimistic. Before his match he told the media,

"Obviously having the pleasure and being able to play on Centre Court and to play a match like that against Nadal, it doesn't make a difference if I lost today or not. No-one will ever be able to take that away from me," said Brown.

He's still a winner in our book. Congrats Dustin!

On to a familiar face at Wimbledon....

 photo tennis7.jpg

Five-time Wimbledon champ Serena Williams is still serving up wins on her quest for her sixth Grand Slam title. The tennis superstar conquered British tennis player Heather Watson during the Ladies’ Singles third round match yesterday.

 photo tennis6.jpg

And now…a huge match is coming up for the No. 1 seed.

 photo tennis5.jpg

The 34-year-old star (who celebrates a birthday in September) will go head-to-head against her 35-year-old sister, Venus Williams (No. 16 seed), to reprise their sisterly rivalry in the fourth round on Monday. This will be their first Grand Slam meeting since the 2009 final at Wimbledon where Serena won in straight sets.

Set your DVR’s…we expect it to be a good match. Which Williams sister are you betting on?

Photos: Pacific Coast News/Getty

© 2015   Created by The Fam.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service