Will The Real Men PLEASE Stand Up!!!!!!!!

I was listening to Mr. Moody's Neighborhood (shout out to Moody, Cousin Ed, Naturel, and Tracy for an AMAZING show!!) and I was so intrigued by everything the crew had to say. So I'm pretty much just going to be piggy backing off of some of the things they spoke on. Granted there are some extraordinary men in the world and we have a great amount of them right here in the hood. Regardless of that fact there is a significant amount of men (or so called men I should say) who are not stepping up to the plate and taking care of their responsibilities. This is not only fathers I'm speaking on, but also brothers, cousins, uncles, friends, etc. Our young boys and young men are growing up in homes with no positive male influence, no male perspective whatsoever. So they look to other resources, the wrong resources to show them how to behave. Instead of behaving and growing into a commendable young man a lot of these boys are being taught to be drug dealers, thugs, gang bangers, absent fathers, women beaters, rapists, abusers, and so many other things. They use the lives of athletes and entertainers for examples and they try to emulate that behavior. There's no male anywhere to tell these young boys that their behavior is unacceptable. As a result so many of these young boys end up in and out of jail, on the streets for the rest of their lives, or dead. There are even young men who have fathers that live in the home, but the father is so emotionally detached from his child(ren). In my opinion, that's worse than not being there at all. But even when the father is absent from the home physically and/or emotionally where are the brothers, the uncles, the cousins? What are they doing to help raise an upstanding young man? Much respect to those single mothers who are raising young boys because I know it's tough, but in my opinion there are certain things a woman cannot teach a boy for him to grow into a respectable man.

So where are our real men?? Where are the men that will step up and teach our boys how to love their children, how to love their wives, how to be a provider for their families, how to live a life that their children could emulate?? Like it was mentioned in the podcast, it's only about 15% of these men out there. So what's going on with the other 85%? (If you haven't listened to the podcast it's a MUST that you do so.) I wish that there were more men in the world like my father and my grandfather. These men handled their responsibilities as fathers, husbands, and heads of their households. On a personal note I definitely have to commend my father. When my mom passed 7+ years ago my father became a single father of 4. My dad did EVERYTHING in his power to make sure we had all that we needed. He never once ran out on us. He never once let us go without. He'd go hungry before he let my brothers and I go hungry. We NEED more men like that in the world, especially in the black community. There are so many single mothers out there whose children have never known their fathers and it's a shame. (SIDE BAR: Ladies if he was a dead beat when you met him WHY would you lay down with him??!! Put a lock on that thang ladies and throw away the key for goodness sakes!! Close your legs!!!) One thing I think people need to learn to do as parents is pray with and for their children. I'm a firm believer in prayer and I've seen it work. Pray for these boys that are out there in the streets trappin and gang banging. Pray for the ones that are growing up without fathers in the home. That's just my stand on it.



"LISTEN TO THE SHOW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK...."

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Comment by sunnydelyte21 on May 21, 2012 at 12:54pm

I couldn't agree more. We need more postive men to become mentors to these young men and show the right way, but the same can be said to female. I have to check out this podcast...

Comment by Lina on September 22, 2011 at 6:24pm
Thank you so much for that, classychick1.  It was such a shock to my family. He was only 22 years old.
Comment by classychick1 on September 22, 2011 at 6:18pm

Lina,  My deepest sympathies and condolences to you and your family upon the passing of your brother. Great post, I totally agree!!!!!

Comment by Lina on September 22, 2011 at 3:53pm

You're so lucky to have had positive male influences in your life.  The funny thing is is that my father was not a deadbeat in the sense that he had a very good career in the Navy. He made it all the way to E-9 (which is not an easy thing to do) and he was highly decorated. So it wasn't like he did not have the money to take care of me and my little brother. And yet I could count on one hand the number of times I saw him in my entire life. He was never there for me and my brother, and sadly my brother past away last year so now he will never get to know his son.  I don't know how any man can go through life knowing they have children out there and not wanting to be a part of their lives.  It's not even about the money. It's about being there to help raise them and offer guidance, especially to their sons.  And on a side note, when you have to watch your own children it's not babysitting, men! It's only babysitting when you are watching children that are not yours.  

 

Baby Sitting: 

Verb: Look after a child or children while the parents are out
Comment by Cousin Ed on June 23, 2011 at 11:09pm
Comment by classychick1 on January 26, 2011 at 8:28pm

Gosh, I could answer this from on so many levels... Fortunately (for him) I loathe my daughter’s father so intensely… I literally just got sick to the point; I can’t even continue to comment on this… SMH

Comment by Jewess on September 23, 2009 at 8:48pm
When i was growing up i learned men were sh--, not because of what i heard but because of what i saw. I either saw one beating a woman, calling one out of their name, disrespecting her by sleeping with her friends, etc. What i saw didn't make me respect men so i developed an attitude of keep them at an arms length or they'll hurt you. Most of these lessons i learned directly from my father. My parents split when i was three, and the men around me were no better example. When it was time to choose my own mate, ok truthfully i wasn't looking for a mate but a fu-- buddy, i needed relief...anyway i went seeking characteristics i thought made a good man. Now years later I now know there are men trying to hold up a standard, trying to love their wives and children as much as they love themselves.
Comment by MsConfident on September 23, 2009 at 8:34pm
~*Ms i agree with you...1000% *~
Comment by LatinTemptress on July 28, 2009 at 11:17am
I grew up with my father for the first 10 yrs of my life then the marriage ended in divorce and we moved to the US from PR. My mom became a single, hard-working parent. As far as male uncles, cousins, etc they had their own families to attend to. We had no father figure after the divorce. IMO, children need their fathers as much as their mothers and I know that although my own father was no longer there for us, that there are good men out there. Men that through circumstance are not allowed to see their children and spend time with them even though the check is in the mail every week. Men that suffer the injustice of the family court's inadequate system that favors a dysfunctional baby momma over a good father. Men that cannot even talk to their child on the phone because their baby momma is a vindictive bitch or her new man is laying up in her home and won't allow this child to speak to his father. I wish I'd had a father there to teach me and guide me and love me so that I wouldn't have had to learn my lessons through trial and error.
I am also going to piggy-back on the comment by Ms.China: Men teach your sons how to treat a woman. Don't teach them that sticking every chick they meet makes them a man and that if he turns down sex with a woman that he is gay or a punk. Teach them to respect women and show your child what a real relationship is by respecting their mother. Show your sons that honest work is the road to success. Teach your daughters that to love themselves and show her love and pride so that no man could ever manipulate her. Teach her that she is worthy of love and respect and teach her to become an independent thinker. Tell your daughters that they are smart and beautiful so that she doesn't need to seek confirmation otherwise. Real men are out there, I know, I am in a committed relationship with one. ;-)
Comment by Ms. China on June 11, 2009 at 4:41pm
I am a 30 year old mother of three. I teach preschool and also attend University of Phoenix online. I have my own house and car. I said all that to say this....I am raising three kids on my own. The fact that their fathers aren't in their lives pushes me to achieve more and more goals each day. I know people will blame what they do on the fact that their mothers or fathers were not in their lives. Children lead by example, my hard work proves to my children that no matter what may come your way you can do it. Yes at times I do get tired but the joy of knowing my kids have a roof over their heads, have food, clothes, and everything else they need fills me with energy. Using the absence of a parent is just another excuse that one person made and everybody liked it. The lack of a parent should push you to become a better role model for your own children. Although my kids fathers are not in their lives I make sure someone in the family knows whats going on with them. Growing up I was raised by only one parent and it wasn't because she didn't want the responsibility. As a woman that didn't make me decide to leave my kids. People often ask my why I consider my mother such a role model. The reason is although she had reason for leaving I refuse to become what my mother was. When I was pregnant with my youngest son my mother became very ill. Now I could have neglected the fact that she was my mother just as she had when I was younger but as a child of God I stepped up and did what I knew was right. I took care of her from May 2002-January 2007 when she passed away. I don't regret one thing that I did for her in her time of need. The problem with the world today is we hold grudges. So what if your baby's father isn't there step up and be both mom and dad. Don't talk down on him in front of your kids, that was a decision you made. What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger!!!! Women its not hard to teach a boy to become a man. I'm sure men in your past have hurt you in some way, teach your son the opposite of what you've been through. Men teach your daughter's that everything that looks good to you is not good for you. You have hurt women tell your daughter what to look for to end the cycle. Stop making excuses for the way your life has turned out its nobody's fault but your own. For every cause there is an effect, don't put others in situations you wouldn't want to be in yourself. And when you do things to hurt your fellow man remember......your kids will one day become adults and you don't want the same thing to happen to them. I am a firm believer that you reap what you sow. I hope my comment has not offended anyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Young, Black, and Fabulous

Future's Child Support Payments INCREASE + Chris Brown Takes A Puff While On A Jet Ski In St. Tropez + Kanye Performs At Riccardo Tisci's Ibiza B-Day Bash

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Future has to dig a little deeper for child support payments to the mother of his 11-year-old son. Meanwhile, Chris Brown is living it up on a jet ski in Saint Tropez. Deets & pics inside….

Rapper Future just struck a new custody deal with one of his baby mamas. And no it’s not Ciara.

Future and the mother of his 11-year-old son Jessica Smith have come to an agreement on visitation and child support payments. Since he’s making a little more cash nowadays, the “Honest” rapper is now paying an extra $1,200 per month in child support for his son totaling $2.800 a month. According to TMZ, Future is bringing in $50K a month. Hmm…50K seems a little low to support the lifestyle he portrays to have. #noshade

They also worked out a visitation schedule on what major holidays he will spend with Future and which ones he will spend with his mother. Jessica is also moving her son to a nicer neighborhood in Atlanta so their son can attend a better school.

Glad they could work that out.

And in other news….
 

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Chris Brown is still living it up in Saint Tropez…without his on-again/off-again girlfriend Karrueche.

In fact, he’s partying with a group of friends, including Miami bred video vixen Jessica Aedo.
 

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Seems Breezy can’t leave those cigarettes alone. He was spotted puffing on one while riding a jet ski.

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Oh, hey...

And again while relaxing on a yacht with some of his homies.

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The good life. 

BONUS:

The Kardashian-West clan is in Ibiza. And they are celebrating Riccardo Tisci’s birthday.  That family, Ciara, Justin Bieber and more all came out to celebrate with the Givenchy designer. And guess who performed? Kanye West. Biebz caught video of the “Black Skinhead” rapper’s performance above.

Photos/Video: FameFlyNet/Future’s IG/ Justin's IG

IT'S OVER! Michael Strahan & Nicole Murphy End Their 5-Year-Engagement

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After a five year engagement, the busiest person in the morning show world has called it quits with fiancee Nicole Murphy!  Deets inside..

It's over! "Live with Kelly & Michael" host and "GMA"'s newest addition, Michael Strahan, is now a single man again.  Both his and Nicole Murphy's reps confirmed the split to People magazine today:

The model and VH1 star ended her five-year engagement to the morning television host and retired NFL player, Murphy's rep confirms to PEOPLE exclusively.

"They love each other very much, but with the distance and work schedule it has been hard to maintain the relationship," his rep tells PEOPLE.

And the timing isn't te best eiter.  Michael's huge Pro Football Hall of Fame induction ceremony goes down tomorrow night.

Michael, 42, was previously married to Jean Muggli, and they share custody of their twin daughters Sophia and Isabella.  And that split was quite messy.

46-year-old Nicole, who stars on VH1's "Hollywood Exes", has five kids with Eddie Murphy and lives full time in L.A.

We can only wonder if the huge blended family and bi-coastal relationship payed a factor in the break-up.  Not to mention it seems Michael doesn't even have a minute of free time on his hands.

The twosome went through their share of rocky times.  In 2009, a source claimed that Nicole accused Michael of putting a tracking device in her car when he suspected her of cheating on her.  And in 2012, they allegedly broke up for a bit.

Did they stay together to keep up appearances?  Or were they legit trying to make it work...and life got in the way?  We'll never know...

 

Photo: Getty

The Sexy Omari Hardwick Talks “Power”, How He Stays In Shape & INTERESTING Things You DIDN'T Know About Him

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Ghost, we mean the sexy Omari Hardwick, is revealing secrets. And we can’t wait to share. Find out how Omari keeps his toned physique, what it’s like collaborating with 50 Cent on “Power” AND reveals something we never knew about his musical side. Get it all and more inside….

If you haven’t been keeping up with 50 Cent’s STARZ drama series “Power,” you need to get your life.

The sexiness that is Omari Hardwick plays “Ghost,” a no-nonsense drug-kingpin who opens a high-profile nightclub in NYC to “hide” all of his illegal activity he has going on behind-the-scenes. The problem is, he’s trying to break away from the world of crime but his wife, best friend and drug associates won’t allow him to. Meanwhile, he has rekindled a relationship with a former love and is in a full fledged erotic affair (again)! Tsk…tsk…

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The season finale is on deck.  But before we’re knocked out of our seats tomorrow night, Omari did an interview giving us a better understanding of who he is and revealed a few things we never knew!

During an interview with The New Potato, Omari dished on how he prepared himself to play “Ghost,” what it’s like to collaborate with 50 Cent, how he keeps that beautiful body of his so perfect AND reveals that he writes music. In fact, he’s written a few tracks for Estelle’s new album!

Here are the highlights:

What’s it like collaborating with 50 Cent on Power?
It was an amazing gift. He was so generous and brilliant; I was pleasantly surprised to see how active he was in the process of a major network show. He has remained more present now that they’ve finished the season; that says something. I speak to him twice a week for two to three hours. He’s been a constant. He’s become a really good friend and we’ve learned a lot from each other.

Best advice from him so far…
He never sleeps or eats! He’s constantly telling me that he “whistles while he works.” [He emphasizes] having joy in your work and being able to push through exhaustion because of that joy.

Did you do anything to prepare for your part as Ghost? Was there research? If so, what?
I went outside Queens, NY where he’s from, and I watched loads and loads of documentaries. I watched a lot of The Cosby Show; I wanted to tap into the great father that he is. I’m constantly doing research while playing him.

The greatest discovery you’ve made so far playing Ghost…
How delusional, narcissistic and loving people can be, all at the same time. I never would have guessed you could be all of those things at once.

Is Power an accurate portrayal of the New York club scene? How so?
I think so. It captures the star status of the DJ: the international sound, the techno mixed with rap, and the lavish look (shout out to Anthony Hemingway; he made it look just right). The only thing that is not truthful is the lack of celebrity.

Three things nobody knows about you…
1. I’m a songwriter. I wrote three or four songs for Estelle’s new album.
2. When I’m washing the dishes, if I’m scraping food off the plate, I personify the vegetables. They have to go down the drain at the same time, like a family. I don’t know if that is OCD or I just have a high level of sensitivity about vegetables.
3. I’m secretly a cowboy. I got my first boots from my grandfather when I was five-years-old. Our way of saying “Are you good?” is to say, ”You got your boots?” I wear my cowboy boots a lot.

From start to finish, what would be your ideal food day?
I would say for breakfast, I’m pretty OCD. It’s oatmeal with fresh berries and brown sugar, or toast and egg whites with turkey – and some orange juice and water.

For lunch, I would say pasta to keep the energy going for the day – maybe a bowtie pasta with tomato sauce and meatballs, sometimes with turkey meat. Also some steamed vegetables or a mixed salad with avocado and fruit. I tend to drink water all day, but maybe a ginger ale for lunch. I also like to treat myself to an oatmeal cookie.

For dinner, pecan-crusted salmon if I’m feeling good or had a good workout. If not, just grilled salmon with asparagus and mashed potatoes. If I’m in a rush in Los Angeles, there is a place called Tender Greens that’s really good, fresh and inexpensive.

What are your workout routines?
I switch it up so much to trick my body. I’m doing Bikram yoga this week, but I take a lot of boxing classes. I also do sprints in the pool, a lot of hiking, sprinting up hills, meditation, and isometric work where I’m able to engage my core. I also play basketball when I can. My secret is drinking a lot of water, especially when I’m working.

Check out the full interview here.

What can't this man do...

 

BONUS:

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Looks like ish is getting real on the "Power" season finale. Above, Ghost and his right hand man Tommy are tied up and blindfolded in the sneak peak. Ms. Pink Sneakers has lost her mind. Find out what happens Saturday, August 2nd at 9pm ET on STARZ.

Photos: Getty
 

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