Will The Real Men PLEASE Stand Up!!!!!!!!

I was listening to Mr. Moody's Neighborhood (shout out to Moody, Cousin Ed, Naturel, and Tracy for an AMAZING show!!) and I was so intrigued by everything the crew had to say. So I'm pretty much just going to be piggy backing off of some of the things they spoke on. Granted there are some extraordinary men in the world and we have a great amount of them right here in the hood. Regardless of that fact there is a significant amount of men (or so called men I should say) who are not stepping up to the plate and taking care of their responsibilities. This is not only fathers I'm speaking on, but also brothers, cousins, uncles, friends, etc. Our young boys and young men are growing up in homes with no positive male influence, no male perspective whatsoever. So they look to other resources, the wrong resources to show them how to behave. Instead of behaving and growing into a commendable young man a lot of these boys are being taught to be drug dealers, thugs, gang bangers, absent fathers, women beaters, rapists, abusers, and so many other things. They use the lives of athletes and entertainers for examples and they try to emulate that behavior. There's no male anywhere to tell these young boys that their behavior is unacceptable. As a result so many of these young boys end up in and out of jail, on the streets for the rest of their lives, or dead. There are even young men who have fathers that live in the home, but the father is so emotionally detached from his child(ren). In my opinion, that's worse than not being there at all. But even when the father is absent from the home physically and/or emotionally where are the brothers, the uncles, the cousins? What are they doing to help raise an upstanding young man? Much respect to those single mothers who are raising young boys because I know it's tough, but in my opinion there are certain things a woman cannot teach a boy for him to grow into a respectable man.

So where are our real men?? Where are the men that will step up and teach our boys how to love their children, how to love their wives, how to be a provider for their families, how to live a life that their children could emulate?? Like it was mentioned in the podcast, it's only about 15% of these men out there. So what's going on with the other 85%? (If you haven't listened to the podcast it's a MUST that you do so.) I wish that there were more men in the world like my father and my grandfather. These men handled their responsibilities as fathers, husbands, and heads of their households. On a personal note I definitely have to commend my father. When my mom passed 7+ years ago my father became a single father of 4. My dad did EVERYTHING in his power to make sure we had all that we needed. He never once ran out on us. He never once let us go without. He'd go hungry before he let my brothers and I go hungry. We NEED more men like that in the world, especially in the black community. There are so many single mothers out there whose children have never known their fathers and it's a shame. (SIDE BAR: Ladies if he was a dead beat when you met him WHY would you lay down with him??!! Put a lock on that thang ladies and throw away the key for goodness sakes!! Close your legs!!!) One thing I think people need to learn to do as parents is pray with and for their children. I'm a firm believer in prayer and I've seen it work. Pray for these boys that are out there in the streets trappin and gang banging. Pray for the ones that are growing up without fathers in the home. That's just my stand on it.



"LISTEN TO THE SHOW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK...."

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Comment by sunnydelyte21 on May 21, 2012 at 12:54pm

I couldn't agree more. We need more postive men to become mentors to these young men and show the right way, but the same can be said to female. I have to check out this podcast...

Comment by Lina on September 22, 2011 at 6:24pm
Thank you so much for that, classychick1.  It was such a shock to my family. He was only 22 years old.
Comment by classychick1 on September 22, 2011 at 6:18pm

Lina,  My deepest sympathies and condolences to you and your family upon the passing of your brother. Great post, I totally agree!!!!!

Comment by Lina on September 22, 2011 at 3:53pm

You're so lucky to have had positive male influences in your life.  The funny thing is is that my father was not a deadbeat in the sense that he had a very good career in the Navy. He made it all the way to E-9 (which is not an easy thing to do) and he was highly decorated. So it wasn't like he did not have the money to take care of me and my little brother. And yet I could count on one hand the number of times I saw him in my entire life. He was never there for me and my brother, and sadly my brother past away last year so now he will never get to know his son.  I don't know how any man can go through life knowing they have children out there and not wanting to be a part of their lives.  It's not even about the money. It's about being there to help raise them and offer guidance, especially to their sons.  And on a side note, when you have to watch your own children it's not babysitting, men! It's only babysitting when you are watching children that are not yours.  

 

Baby Sitting: 

Verb: Look after a child or children while the parents are out
Comment by Cousin Ed on June 23, 2011 at 11:09pm
Comment by classychick1 on January 26, 2011 at 8:28pm

Gosh, I could answer this from on so many levels... Fortunately (for him) I loathe my daughter’s father so intensely… I literally just got sick to the point; I can’t even continue to comment on this… SMH

Comment by Jewess on September 23, 2009 at 8:48pm
When i was growing up i learned men were sh--, not because of what i heard but because of what i saw. I either saw one beating a woman, calling one out of their name, disrespecting her by sleeping with her friends, etc. What i saw didn't make me respect men so i developed an attitude of keep them at an arms length or they'll hurt you. Most of these lessons i learned directly from my father. My parents split when i was three, and the men around me were no better example. When it was time to choose my own mate, ok truthfully i wasn't looking for a mate but a fu-- buddy, i needed relief...anyway i went seeking characteristics i thought made a good man. Now years later I now know there are men trying to hold up a standard, trying to love their wives and children as much as they love themselves.
Comment by MsConfident on September 23, 2009 at 8:34pm
~*Ms i agree with you...1000% *~
Comment by LatinTemptress on July 28, 2009 at 11:17am
I grew up with my father for the first 10 yrs of my life then the marriage ended in divorce and we moved to the US from PR. My mom became a single, hard-working parent. As far as male uncles, cousins, etc they had their own families to attend to. We had no father figure after the divorce. IMO, children need their fathers as much as their mothers and I know that although my own father was no longer there for us, that there are good men out there. Men that through circumstance are not allowed to see their children and spend time with them even though the check is in the mail every week. Men that suffer the injustice of the family court's inadequate system that favors a dysfunctional baby momma over a good father. Men that cannot even talk to their child on the phone because their baby momma is a vindictive bitch or her new man is laying up in her home and won't allow this child to speak to his father. I wish I'd had a father there to teach me and guide me and love me so that I wouldn't have had to learn my lessons through trial and error.
I am also going to piggy-back on the comment by Ms.China: Men teach your sons how to treat a woman. Don't teach them that sticking every chick they meet makes them a man and that if he turns down sex with a woman that he is gay or a punk. Teach them to respect women and show your child what a real relationship is by respecting their mother. Show your sons that honest work is the road to success. Teach your daughters that to love themselves and show her love and pride so that no man could ever manipulate her. Teach her that she is worthy of love and respect and teach her to become an independent thinker. Tell your daughters that they are smart and beautiful so that she doesn't need to seek confirmation otherwise. Real men are out there, I know, I am in a committed relationship with one. ;-)
Comment by Ms. China on June 11, 2009 at 4:41pm
I am a 30 year old mother of three. I teach preschool and also attend University of Phoenix online. I have my own house and car. I said all that to say this....I am raising three kids on my own. The fact that their fathers aren't in their lives pushes me to achieve more and more goals each day. I know people will blame what they do on the fact that their mothers or fathers were not in their lives. Children lead by example, my hard work proves to my children that no matter what may come your way you can do it. Yes at times I do get tired but the joy of knowing my kids have a roof over their heads, have food, clothes, and everything else they need fills me with energy. Using the absence of a parent is just another excuse that one person made and everybody liked it. The lack of a parent should push you to become a better role model for your own children. Although my kids fathers are not in their lives I make sure someone in the family knows whats going on with them. Growing up I was raised by only one parent and it wasn't because she didn't want the responsibility. As a woman that didn't make me decide to leave my kids. People often ask my why I consider my mother such a role model. The reason is although she had reason for leaving I refuse to become what my mother was. When I was pregnant with my youngest son my mother became very ill. Now I could have neglected the fact that she was my mother just as she had when I was younger but as a child of God I stepped up and did what I knew was right. I took care of her from May 2002-January 2007 when she passed away. I don't regret one thing that I did for her in her time of need. The problem with the world today is we hold grudges. So what if your baby's father isn't there step up and be both mom and dad. Don't talk down on him in front of your kids, that was a decision you made. What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger!!!! Women its not hard to teach a boy to become a man. I'm sure men in your past have hurt you in some way, teach your son the opposite of what you've been through. Men teach your daughter's that everything that looks good to you is not good for you. You have hurt women tell your daughter what to look for to end the cycle. Stop making excuses for the way your life has turned out its nobody's fault but your own. For every cause there is an effect, don't put others in situations you wouldn't want to be in yourself. And when you do things to hurt your fellow man remember......your kids will one day become adults and you don't want the same thing to happen to them. I am a firm believer that you reap what you sow. I hope my comment has not offended anyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Young, Black, and Fabulous

JET SETTERS: French Montana & Khloe Kardashian Arrive At LAX…Together + Lamar Odom Inks An NBA Deal

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Fueling dating rumors even more, rapper French Montana and Khloe Kardashian were spotted at LAX today. Plus, Lamar Odom has inked a deal with a NBA team. See their candids and find out who Lamar will be playing for inside…

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After double date night with Khloe’s sister Kourtney and her beau Scott, French Montana and Khloe Kardashian are leaving L.A. to an undisclosed location.

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The rumored couple was seen walking through LAX as they waited to board a plane. Not sure why Khloe walked ahead of French like they weren’t together (because we’ve already seen them hugged and cuddled up before) but she made her way along with Frenchie’s entourage to the first class holding area.

French appeared not far behind Khloe as he covered his head, shying away from the paps.

 

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The twosome still haven’t confirmed or denied if they are indeed a couple, but from the amount of time they’re spending together and how ticked off rapper Trina is, it’s probably safe to say that they’re more than just “friends.”

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Meanwhile, Khloe’s ex-husband Lamar Odom (spotted at LAX back in February still wearing his wedding band) is getting a second chance after he inked a mini-deal to play in his hometown of New York. Lamar will be joining the New York Knicks...but under certain conditions. TMZ reports Lamar was signed a one game deal with the Knicks after being out of the NBA for the entire season.

The Knicks probably want to see the fallen NBA star workout before signing him a full contract for next season. Coming to the Knicks will reunite him with his old Lakers coach Phil Jackson, who is currently the Knicks team president.

Lamar has been desperately trying to get back in the NBA, but with all his alleged crack usage nonsense and DUI arrest, it’s no wonder most teams passed on picking him up.

Photos: Splash/INF

 

The Randomness:

1. Actor Gary Dourdan has been cast as a love interest in a recurring role on BET’s "Being Mary Jane" and and will be guest starring on FOX’s “Glee." STORY

Kandi Burruss Goes In About Mama Joyce's SHADE At The Wedding, The Reunion Catfight & Attempts MiMi's Shower Rod Moves!

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Oh Kandi!  The newlywed "RHOA" star is flossing her shower rod skills...and asking MiMi Faust for help on how to get that ish popping like she did in her sex tape.  Ha!

 

Check out what Kandi had to say about that foolery, plus she's dishing on Mama Joyce's shady activities during the wedding and the reunion foolery....

Kandi Burruss Tucker showed up on "Bethanny" today, and she gave us the real deal about her mama's status with Todd.  And nope. ish hasn't changed.  Kandi revealed her husband Todd started his own company, and moms still isn't impressed. 

When asked if she thought her mom simply didn't want to share Kandi with anyone else, Kandi acted like she just had no clue WHY her mama has been acting this way.  Chile, Stevie Wonder sees this ish.  YES KANDI...that is the reason.

Check out her trying to explain her mama's actions and why she's still not feeling Todd below:

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Kandi on how Kenya Moore provoked Porsha Williams on the reunion show:…

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Mike Epps INVESTIGATED After ALLEGEDLY Punching A Woman For Throwing A Drink At Him & His Wife!

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Mike Epps and his wife Mechelle hit up the premiere for comedy flick A Haunted House 2 and then they hit up the after party. 'HIT' being the ironic word here.

 

Ish hit the fan when a woman reportedly threw a drink at Mike & his wife Mechelle...because chick allegedly got chin checked for it. Deets inside….

Comedian Mike Epps is under investigation after a woman claims he punched her in the face last night.

After hitting the red carpet for the Haunted House 2 event, all smiles as they posed for the paps, Mike and his wife Mechelle went to an after party for the premiere at Lucky Strike in Downtown L.A.

According to TMZ, a woman, claiming she was in a previous relationship with Epps, confronted him about…what... we’re not sure exactly, resulting in Mike supposedly punching the woman in the face and demanding security escort her out of the club.

Sources say the woman walked up on the Sparkle actor while he was with his wife (he asked security earlier for extra privacy). The woman apparently became hostile and threw at drink at them. Mike allegedly hit the woman and she promptly called the cops.

Law enforcement says they didn’t find one sign that she was assaulted and Mike told police he didn’t lay a finger on the woman. Since the woman made claims that she was in a previous romantic relationship with Mike, the case has been transferred to the domestic violence division and the investigation is still ongoing.  Oh lawd!

Could be a case of a crazed fan OR...Mike could have treated the woman like he did that paparazzo he snuffed after he invaded his privacy...
 

Photos: Splash

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