Will The Real Men PLEASE Stand Up!!!!!!!!

I was listening to Mr. Moody's Neighborhood (shout out to Moody, Cousin Ed, Naturel, and Tracy for an AMAZING show!!) and I was so intrigued by everything the crew had to say. So I'm pretty much just going to be piggy backing off of some of the things they spoke on. Granted there are some extraordinary men in the world and we have a great amount of them right here in the hood. Regardless of that fact there is a significant amount of men (or so called men I should say) who are not stepping up to the plate and taking care of their responsibilities. This is not only fathers I'm speaking on, but also brothers, cousins, uncles, friends, etc. Our young boys and young men are growing up in homes with no positive male influence, no male perspective whatsoever. So they look to other resources, the wrong resources to show them how to behave. Instead of behaving and growing into a commendable young man a lot of these boys are being taught to be drug dealers, thugs, gang bangers, absent fathers, women beaters, rapists, abusers, and so many other things. They use the lives of athletes and entertainers for examples and they try to emulate that behavior. There's no male anywhere to tell these young boys that their behavior is unacceptable. As a result so many of these young boys end up in and out of jail, on the streets for the rest of their lives, or dead. There are even young men who have fathers that live in the home, but the father is so emotionally detached from his child(ren). In my opinion, that's worse than not being there at all. But even when the father is absent from the home physically and/or emotionally where are the brothers, the uncles, the cousins? What are they doing to help raise an upstanding young man? Much respect to those single mothers who are raising young boys because I know it's tough, but in my opinion there are certain things a woman cannot teach a boy for him to grow into a respectable man.

So where are our real men?? Where are the men that will step up and teach our boys how to love their children, how to love their wives, how to be a provider for their families, how to live a life that their children could emulate?? Like it was mentioned in the podcast, it's only about 15% of these men out there. So what's going on with the other 85%? (If you haven't listened to the podcast it's a MUST that you do so.) I wish that there were more men in the world like my father and my grandfather. These men handled their responsibilities as fathers, husbands, and heads of their households. On a personal note I definitely have to commend my father. When my mom passed 7+ years ago my father became a single father of 4. My dad did EVERYTHING in his power to make sure we had all that we needed. He never once ran out on us. He never once let us go without. He'd go hungry before he let my brothers and I go hungry. We NEED more men like that in the world, especially in the black community. There are so many single mothers out there whose children have never known their fathers and it's a shame. (SIDE BAR: Ladies if he was a dead beat when you met him WHY would you lay down with him??!! Put a lock on that thang ladies and throw away the key for goodness sakes!! Close your legs!!!) One thing I think people need to learn to do as parents is pray with and for their children. I'm a firm believer in prayer and I've seen it work. Pray for these boys that are out there in the streets trappin and gang banging. Pray for the ones that are growing up without fathers in the home. That's just my stand on it.



"LISTEN TO THE SHOW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK...."

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Comment by sunnydelyte21 on May 21, 2012 at 12:54pm

I couldn't agree more. We need more postive men to become mentors to these young men and show the right way, but the same can be said to female. I have to check out this podcast...

Comment by Lina on September 22, 2011 at 6:24pm
Thank you so much for that, classychick1.  It was such a shock to my family. He was only 22 years old.
Comment by classychick1 on September 22, 2011 at 6:18pm

Lina,  My deepest sympathies and condolences to you and your family upon the passing of your brother. Great post, I totally agree!!!!!

Comment by Lina on September 22, 2011 at 3:53pm

You're so lucky to have had positive male influences in your life.  The funny thing is is that my father was not a deadbeat in the sense that he had a very good career in the Navy. He made it all the way to E-9 (which is not an easy thing to do) and he was highly decorated. So it wasn't like he did not have the money to take care of me and my little brother. And yet I could count on one hand the number of times I saw him in my entire life. He was never there for me and my brother, and sadly my brother past away last year so now he will never get to know his son.  I don't know how any man can go through life knowing they have children out there and not wanting to be a part of their lives.  It's not even about the money. It's about being there to help raise them and offer guidance, especially to their sons.  And on a side note, when you have to watch your own children it's not babysitting, men! It's only babysitting when you are watching children that are not yours.  

 

Baby Sitting: 

Verb: Look after a child or children while the parents are out
Comment by Cousin Ed on June 23, 2011 at 11:09pm
Comment by classychick1 on January 26, 2011 at 8:28pm

Gosh, I could answer this from on so many levels... Fortunately (for him) I loathe my daughter’s father so intensely… I literally just got sick to the point; I can’t even continue to comment on this… SMH

Comment by Jewess on September 23, 2009 at 8:48pm
When i was growing up i learned men were sh--, not because of what i heard but because of what i saw. I either saw one beating a woman, calling one out of their name, disrespecting her by sleeping with her friends, etc. What i saw didn't make me respect men so i developed an attitude of keep them at an arms length or they'll hurt you. Most of these lessons i learned directly from my father. My parents split when i was three, and the men around me were no better example. When it was time to choose my own mate, ok truthfully i wasn't looking for a mate but a fu-- buddy, i needed relief...anyway i went seeking characteristics i thought made a good man. Now years later I now know there are men trying to hold up a standard, trying to love their wives and children as much as they love themselves.
Comment by MsConfident on September 23, 2009 at 8:34pm
~*Ms i agree with you...1000% *~
Comment by LatinTemptress on July 28, 2009 at 11:17am
I grew up with my father for the first 10 yrs of my life then the marriage ended in divorce and we moved to the US from PR. My mom became a single, hard-working parent. As far as male uncles, cousins, etc they had their own families to attend to. We had no father figure after the divorce. IMO, children need their fathers as much as their mothers and I know that although my own father was no longer there for us, that there are good men out there. Men that through circumstance are not allowed to see their children and spend time with them even though the check is in the mail every week. Men that suffer the injustice of the family court's inadequate system that favors a dysfunctional baby momma over a good father. Men that cannot even talk to their child on the phone because their baby momma is a vindictive bitch or her new man is laying up in her home and won't allow this child to speak to his father. I wish I'd had a father there to teach me and guide me and love me so that I wouldn't have had to learn my lessons through trial and error.
I am also going to piggy-back on the comment by Ms.China: Men teach your sons how to treat a woman. Don't teach them that sticking every chick they meet makes them a man and that if he turns down sex with a woman that he is gay or a punk. Teach them to respect women and show your child what a real relationship is by respecting their mother. Show your sons that honest work is the road to success. Teach your daughters that to love themselves and show her love and pride so that no man could ever manipulate her. Teach her that she is worthy of love and respect and teach her to become an independent thinker. Tell your daughters that they are smart and beautiful so that she doesn't need to seek confirmation otherwise. Real men are out there, I know, I am in a committed relationship with one. ;-)
Comment by Ms. China on June 11, 2009 at 4:41pm
I am a 30 year old mother of three. I teach preschool and also attend University of Phoenix online. I have my own house and car. I said all that to say this....I am raising three kids on my own. The fact that their fathers aren't in their lives pushes me to achieve more and more goals each day. I know people will blame what they do on the fact that their mothers or fathers were not in their lives. Children lead by example, my hard work proves to my children that no matter what may come your way you can do it. Yes at times I do get tired but the joy of knowing my kids have a roof over their heads, have food, clothes, and everything else they need fills me with energy. Using the absence of a parent is just another excuse that one person made and everybody liked it. The lack of a parent should push you to become a better role model for your own children. Although my kids fathers are not in their lives I make sure someone in the family knows whats going on with them. Growing up I was raised by only one parent and it wasn't because she didn't want the responsibility. As a woman that didn't make me decide to leave my kids. People often ask my why I consider my mother such a role model. The reason is although she had reason for leaving I refuse to become what my mother was. When I was pregnant with my youngest son my mother became very ill. Now I could have neglected the fact that she was my mother just as she had when I was younger but as a child of God I stepped up and did what I knew was right. I took care of her from May 2002-January 2007 when she passed away. I don't regret one thing that I did for her in her time of need. The problem with the world today is we hold grudges. So what if your baby's father isn't there step up and be both mom and dad. Don't talk down on him in front of your kids, that was a decision you made. What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger!!!! Women its not hard to teach a boy to become a man. I'm sure men in your past have hurt you in some way, teach your son the opposite of what you've been through. Men teach your daughter's that everything that looks good to you is not good for you. You have hurt women tell your daughter what to look for to end the cycle. Stop making excuses for the way your life has turned out its nobody's fault but your own. For every cause there is an effect, don't put others in situations you wouldn't want to be in yourself. And when you do things to hurt your fellow man remember......your kids will one day become adults and you don't want the same thing to happen to them. I am a firm believer that you reap what you sow. I hope my comment has not offended anyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Young, Black, and Fabulous

CANDIDS: Meagan Good All SMILES At LAX + Chris Brown & Karrueche Visit Art Gallery In NYC + Christina Milian Gets Gangsta For Halloween

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Meagan Good, Chris Brown, Karrueche and Christina Milian were spotted out and about in L.A. and NYC. Peep their candids inside…

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TLAM2 star Meagan Good flashed a huge smile as she trekked through LAX airport with her luggage in tow yesterday.

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The YBF starlet kept it cute and comfortable in a gray t-shirt, sweatpants, black combat boots and black hat for her upcoming trip.

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Normally the one in front of the camera, Meagan put her directorial skills to use behind the lens for her new Halloween movie Dead Diaries Massacre, debuting online soon. Along with directing the short film, Meagan also starred in it alongside Karrueche Tran and “Gossip Girl” actress Yin Chang.

Speaking of Kae....

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Chris Brown and his girlfriend Karrueche were spotted on a date before Chris hit the stage at Power 105's Powerhouse concert last night. The lovebirds made a visit to an art gallery in the Chelsea neighborhood of Manhattan.

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Guess Chris was looking for inspiration for his next graffiti mural project. You’ll recall, the "New Flame" singer spray painted a mural in Miami recently outside the House Of Wings restaurant in the Overtown neighborhood, likely satisfying some of his mandated community service.

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In a recent interview with HOT 97, Breezy gushed over his "loyal" girlfriend in which he said,

“It’s been almost 5 years. She’s straight. I dig her man. She’s dope. I feel like, especially being in this industry, you just need somebody that understands you. Who understands who you are personally except for your name. Me and her have a real connection, like best friends on top of our intimacy.”

Back in L.A.....

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Nivea and Toya Wright may have a problem with Christina Milian allegedly dating Lil Wayne, but she doesn’t seem bothered.

Last night, she was spotted heading to Supper Club for a Halloween party. And who does she pop up at the party as? Well, her look screams "Chola Girl" to us.  But paparazzi on the scene claim she was dressed as her rumored beau Weezy.

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While Wayne was partying with Drake for his birthday, the “Tina Turn Up” singer arrived at the party with her tear drop tattoo, flannel shirt and a huge smile.

Did she nail it or nah?

 

Photos: INFphoto/Splash News

IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY: Lil Wayne, Fabolous, The Game & YMCMB CELEBRATE Drake’s Birthday + Toya Wright PARTIES With Husband MempHitz, Monyetta Shaw & More For 31st Birthday

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Party time! Both Drake and Toya Wright celebrated a birthday this past week. And last night, the two held two separate parties in Miami and Atlanta to celebrate. Peep their pics inside..

 

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His birthday was last Friday (Oct. 24th) but that hasn’t stopped the festivities for 28-year-old Drake. Last week, he brought in his birthday with a swanky dinner at Bent restaurant in his hometown.

This week, he’s partying with his label homies. The Toronto born rapper rounded up his YMCMB crew, including head honcho Lil Wayne, to celebrate his birthday at the South Beach hotspot STORY nightclub in Miami last night, thanks to Hennessy V.S.

 

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After a few drinks and mingling with the ladies, Drake hit up the DJ booth and turned his birthday bash into a show performance as he hit the stage to perform several of his hits. He was later joined on stage by rappers The Game and Travi$ Scott.

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Drizzy’s boss Lil Wayne was sure to be in the building to celebrate his homie’s birthday.

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And he was spotted puffing on a blunt, throwing up signs with one hand and a green "lollipop" in the other. Earlier this wek, Wayne announced his highly anticipated album Tha Carter V was being pushed back (once again). He revealed it would be released in two parts and the first part will drop Dec. 9th.

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"Thim Slick" rapper Fabolous came out to party and toast it up with Drizzy.

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Ray J was in the mix alongside what looks like rapper The Game wearing a red mask.

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And here's The Game and rapper Travi$ Scott on stage.

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Haunted House 2 star Marlon Wayans came to wish Drake a Happy Birthday.

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And "Turn Down For What" rapper Lil Jon (who recently starred in a hilarious voting PSA) was also in the mix.

 

At another party....

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While her ex-husband partied in Miami, Toya Wright celebrated her 31st birthday (along with D'USSÉ ambassador Mr. Rugs) in downtown Atlanta with a few of her reality tv celeb friends.

The birthday girl (whose actual birthday was the 28th) partied with “Atlanta Exes” star Monyetta Shaw, former “RHOA” star Marlo Hampton, “Basketball Wives LA” star Malaysia Pargo, “LAHH ATL” star Tammy Rivera, “RHOA” husband Todd Tucker and of course, her hubby MempHitz.

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October has been a celebratory month for Toya. Last week, she celebrated her 5th anniversary for her store Garb Boutique being in business.

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Waka Flocka Flame's fiancée Tammy came to party in a cute LBD paired with pink Tom Ford pumps.

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And Marlo...well...guess she's just being Marlo. Sighs....

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Todd was spotted (sans his wife Kandi--she's currently filming at an unknown location with the "RHOA" cast) chilling out in the cut.

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And "Married to Medicine" star Quad Webb Lunceford was also in the mix.

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And chef JR Robinson ushered in Toya's black and gold tiered cake. Fun times!

Photos: ExclusiveAccess.net/ATLpics.net

Trey Songz PARTIES With Rumored Boo Mila J In NYC + French Montana REVEALS He Was NEVER In A Relationship With Trina

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There are rumors circulating that Trey Songz and Mila J are dating. And last night, the two only fueled the fire behind the speculation. Get the deets on their night and find out what French Montana had to say about dating Trina and whether he and Khloe Kardashian are still together inside…..

So are R&B crooner Trey Songz and budding singer Mila J dating? We’re not exactly sure, but last night could be an indication that the two could possibly be romantically involved.

Last month, we told you about the talk on the rumor mill that these two are dating. Trey was caught writing “love you too baby” in the comments on a pic he posted of Mila J with the words “I Love Trigga” on the picture. And he also posted a picture of Mila and himself with the caption, “she so fine”.

Well, last night, both Trey and Mila attended Power 105’s Powerhouse concert at the Barclays Center in Brooklyn. And afterwards, they linked up to continue the night’s festivities.

Mila and Trey were spotted partying it up at Stage Forty8 in NYC. Neither The Motown singer (nor Trey) confirm or deny involvement with each other, but Mila did say they are "just very good friends". Mmmhmm….

We hear the two never left one another’s side throughout the night as they danced to tracks from Trey’s TRIGGA album and Mila’s debut EP M.I.L.A. (Made In L.A.). They spent the entire night sipping on champagne and enjoying each other’s company. And as you can see (above) the two looked like they got quite cozy with one another.

Looks like a little more than friends to us…but you decide.

 

And in a candid interview....

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French Montana stopped by the “Wendy Williams Show” this morning to dish on his current relationship status with his girlfriend (?) Khloe Kardashian. French was originally scheduled to perform with singer Jeremih, but since Jermih missed his flight, French was tapped to perform “Don’t Panic” and was convinced to sit down with Wendy. Luckily for us, NO questions were off limits and he kept it 100.

The Coke Boy revealed he and Khloe are in a “special zone” right now and that every relationship has its ups and downs. So we’re assuming these two are still together. He also revealed he was NEVER in a relationship with raptress Trina and confirmed the big $2million payout he gave his now ex-wife Dean Kharbouch.

Below are the highlights:

On he and Khloe Kardashian’s current relationship status:

“I just feel like every relationship, you break up and make up. Right now we’re on real good times. We’re in a special zone right now. She’s going to be my baby forever.”

On if he’s dating Khloe for publicity:

“I don’t feel like love come like that. That’s just something people want to run with. I feel like when you meet someone you really like you don’t worry about that stuff”

On Trina introducing him to the Kardashians:
“No, not at all. Kanye [West] invited me to the Barclays Center to his show and just so happen Kris [Jenner] and Kim [West] was there. Then so happen Trina knew Kim so she said ‘Hi, this is French’ That’s what it was she didn't introduce me to them”

On his relationship with Trina:
“Honestly I was never a couple with Trina. I was just going through my divorce so I was just having fun with life. I wasn’t in a mental space [to be in a relationship]. I can’t claim nobody after I was just going through a divorce”

On his divorce being finalized and having to pay his ex-wife $2 million:
“Yea something like that. I don’t really want to talk about it I might start sweating”

On his son Kruz Kharbouch:
“My son is good. I’m going to see him tomorrow. Take him trick or treating in the park”

On if he got paid for the upcoming reality show “Kourtney and Khloé Take The Hamptons”(which starts this weekend):

“Big time”

On Kris Jenner:
“I love Kris. She’s a strong woman just to be in the position she’s in. They go through a lot that people don’t see. I love them a lot”
 

Oh....

Check it:

French's new album Mac & Cheese drops Dec. 16th. 

 

Photos: Getty/Aziz Harden

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