Will The Real Men PLEASE Stand Up!!!!!!!!

I was listening to Mr. Moody's Neighborhood (shout out to Moody, Cousin Ed, Naturel, and Tracy for an AMAZING show!!) and I was so intrigued by everything the crew had to say. So I'm pretty much just going to be piggy backing off of some of the things they spoke on. Granted there are some extraordinary men in the world and we have a great amount of them right here in the hood. Regardless of that fact there is a significant amount of men (or so called men I should say) who are not stepping up to the plate and taking care of their responsibilities. This is not only fathers I'm speaking on, but also brothers, cousins, uncles, friends, etc. Our young boys and young men are growing up in homes with no positive male influence, no male perspective whatsoever. So they look to other resources, the wrong resources to show them how to behave. Instead of behaving and growing into a commendable young man a lot of these boys are being taught to be drug dealers, thugs, gang bangers, absent fathers, women beaters, rapists, abusers, and so many other things. They use the lives of athletes and entertainers for examples and they try to emulate that behavior. There's no male anywhere to tell these young boys that their behavior is unacceptable. As a result so many of these young boys end up in and out of jail, on the streets for the rest of their lives, or dead. There are even young men who have fathers that live in the home, but the father is so emotionally detached from his child(ren). In my opinion, that's worse than not being there at all. But even when the father is absent from the home physically and/or emotionally where are the brothers, the uncles, the cousins? What are they doing to help raise an upstanding young man? Much respect to those single mothers who are raising young boys because I know it's tough, but in my opinion there are certain things a woman cannot teach a boy for him to grow into a respectable man.

So where are our real men?? Where are the men that will step up and teach our boys how to love their children, how to love their wives, how to be a provider for their families, how to live a life that their children could emulate?? Like it was mentioned in the podcast, it's only about 15% of these men out there. So what's going on with the other 85%? (If you haven't listened to the podcast it's a MUST that you do so.) I wish that there were more men in the world like my father and my grandfather. These men handled their responsibilities as fathers, husbands, and heads of their households. On a personal note I definitely have to commend my father. When my mom passed 7+ years ago my father became a single father of 4. My dad did EVERYTHING in his power to make sure we had all that we needed. He never once ran out on us. He never once let us go without. He'd go hungry before he let my brothers and I go hungry. We NEED more men like that in the world, especially in the black community. There are so many single mothers out there whose children have never known their fathers and it's a shame. (SIDE BAR: Ladies if he was a dead beat when you met him WHY would you lay down with him??!! Put a lock on that thang ladies and throw away the key for goodness sakes!! Close your legs!!!) One thing I think people need to learn to do as parents is pray with and for their children. I'm a firm believer in prayer and I've seen it work. Pray for these boys that are out there in the streets trappin and gang banging. Pray for the ones that are growing up without fathers in the home. That's just my stand on it.



"LISTEN TO THE SHOW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK...."

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Comment by sunnydelyte21 on May 21, 2012 at 12:54pm

I couldn't agree more. We need more postive men to become mentors to these young men and show the right way, but the same can be said to female. I have to check out this podcast...

Comment by Lina on September 22, 2011 at 6:24pm
Thank you so much for that, classychick1.  It was such a shock to my family. He was only 22 years old.
Comment by classychick1 on September 22, 2011 at 6:18pm

Lina,  My deepest sympathies and condolences to you and your family upon the passing of your brother. Great post, I totally agree!!!!!

Comment by Lina on September 22, 2011 at 3:53pm

You're so lucky to have had positive male influences in your life.  The funny thing is is that my father was not a deadbeat in the sense that he had a very good career in the Navy. He made it all the way to E-9 (which is not an easy thing to do) and he was highly decorated. So it wasn't like he did not have the money to take care of me and my little brother. And yet I could count on one hand the number of times I saw him in my entire life. He was never there for me and my brother, and sadly my brother past away last year so now he will never get to know his son.  I don't know how any man can go through life knowing they have children out there and not wanting to be a part of their lives.  It's not even about the money. It's about being there to help raise them and offer guidance, especially to their sons.  And on a side note, when you have to watch your own children it's not babysitting, men! It's only babysitting when you are watching children that are not yours.  

 

Baby Sitting: 

Verb: Look after a child or children while the parents are out
Comment by Cousin Ed on June 23, 2011 at 11:09pm
Comment by classychick1 on January 26, 2011 at 8:28pm

Gosh, I could answer this from on so many levels... Fortunately (for him) I loathe my daughter’s father so intensely… I literally just got sick to the point; I can’t even continue to comment on this… SMH

Comment by Jewess on September 23, 2009 at 8:48pm
When i was growing up i learned men were sh--, not because of what i heard but because of what i saw. I either saw one beating a woman, calling one out of their name, disrespecting her by sleeping with her friends, etc. What i saw didn't make me respect men so i developed an attitude of keep them at an arms length or they'll hurt you. Most of these lessons i learned directly from my father. My parents split when i was three, and the men around me were no better example. When it was time to choose my own mate, ok truthfully i wasn't looking for a mate but a fu-- buddy, i needed relief...anyway i went seeking characteristics i thought made a good man. Now years later I now know there are men trying to hold up a standard, trying to love their wives and children as much as they love themselves.
Comment by MsConfident on September 23, 2009 at 8:34pm
~*Ms i agree with you...1000% *~
Comment by LatinTemptress on July 28, 2009 at 11:17am
I grew up with my father for the first 10 yrs of my life then the marriage ended in divorce and we moved to the US from PR. My mom became a single, hard-working parent. As far as male uncles, cousins, etc they had their own families to attend to. We had no father figure after the divorce. IMO, children need their fathers as much as their mothers and I know that although my own father was no longer there for us, that there are good men out there. Men that through circumstance are not allowed to see their children and spend time with them even though the check is in the mail every week. Men that suffer the injustice of the family court's inadequate system that favors a dysfunctional baby momma over a good father. Men that cannot even talk to their child on the phone because their baby momma is a vindictive bitch or her new man is laying up in her home and won't allow this child to speak to his father. I wish I'd had a father there to teach me and guide me and love me so that I wouldn't have had to learn my lessons through trial and error.
I am also going to piggy-back on the comment by Ms.China: Men teach your sons how to treat a woman. Don't teach them that sticking every chick they meet makes them a man and that if he turns down sex with a woman that he is gay or a punk. Teach them to respect women and show your child what a real relationship is by respecting their mother. Show your sons that honest work is the road to success. Teach your daughters that to love themselves and show her love and pride so that no man could ever manipulate her. Teach her that she is worthy of love and respect and teach her to become an independent thinker. Tell your daughters that they are smart and beautiful so that she doesn't need to seek confirmation otherwise. Real men are out there, I know, I am in a committed relationship with one. ;-)
Comment by Ms. China on June 11, 2009 at 4:41pm
I am a 30 year old mother of three. I teach preschool and also attend University of Phoenix online. I have my own house and car. I said all that to say this....I am raising three kids on my own. The fact that their fathers aren't in their lives pushes me to achieve more and more goals each day. I know people will blame what they do on the fact that their mothers or fathers were not in their lives. Children lead by example, my hard work proves to my children that no matter what may come your way you can do it. Yes at times I do get tired but the joy of knowing my kids have a roof over their heads, have food, clothes, and everything else they need fills me with energy. Using the absence of a parent is just another excuse that one person made and everybody liked it. The lack of a parent should push you to become a better role model for your own children. Although my kids fathers are not in their lives I make sure someone in the family knows whats going on with them. Growing up I was raised by only one parent and it wasn't because she didn't want the responsibility. As a woman that didn't make me decide to leave my kids. People often ask my why I consider my mother such a role model. The reason is although she had reason for leaving I refuse to become what my mother was. When I was pregnant with my youngest son my mother became very ill. Now I could have neglected the fact that she was my mother just as she had when I was younger but as a child of God I stepped up and did what I knew was right. I took care of her from May 2002-January 2007 when she passed away. I don't regret one thing that I did for her in her time of need. The problem with the world today is we hold grudges. So what if your baby's father isn't there step up and be both mom and dad. Don't talk down on him in front of your kids, that was a decision you made. What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger!!!! Women its not hard to teach a boy to become a man. I'm sure men in your past have hurt you in some way, teach your son the opposite of what you've been through. Men teach your daughter's that everything that looks good to you is not good for you. You have hurt women tell your daughter what to look for to end the cycle. Stop making excuses for the way your life has turned out its nobody's fault but your own. For every cause there is an effect, don't put others in situations you wouldn't want to be in yourself. And when you do things to hurt your fellow man remember......your kids will one day become adults and you don't want the same thing to happen to them. I am a firm believer that you reap what you sow. I hope my comment has not offended anyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Young, Black, and Fabulous

BIRTHDAY BIKINI BABE: Adrienne Bailon CELEBRATES Her 31st With A Sexy Photoshoot In Mexico

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Adrienne Bailon is bringing in her 31st birthday with a bang…a bangin' body that is. Peep her bikini clad shots inside…..

It’s Scorpio season. And if you haven’t heard, Scorpio is a fire sign and Adrienne is just that…hot!  

“The Real” co-host Adrienne Bailon celebrated her 31st birthday yesterday. So to celebrate, she trekked it to Puerto Aventuras, Mexico for some birthday fun. Chick definitely needed a little getaway after hustling so hard on her daytime television show and her upcoming hosting gig on "Nail It".

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While living it up at the Hard Rock Hotel Riviera Maya, Adrienne flaunted her curves in a black Mint Swim swimsuit (by "BBW LA" star Draya) on the rocky seashore. Then the former Cheetah Girl switched it up to a black and white cut-out one piece for another impromptu shoot.

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During a moment of reflection, Adrienne gave thanks for seeing another year saying, "I was born today at 12:10am in The Lower East Side of NYC No matter where I go... No matter how old I get... I will always be Nilda & Freddy's daughter. But most importantly... A child of God. Lord, I'm forever grateful for the life you've blessed me with. Thank you for another year... I will always remember that I'm blessed... To hopefully be a blessing to others. #BornDay #BlessedToBeABlessing #1983 #31YearsYoung Ha!"

That body is on POINT.  Work. Happy Birthday Adrienne!

 

Photos: Adrienne's IG

Gabrielle Union & Doug E. Fresh Attend BREAST Party Ever Event In Miami + Letoya Luckett & Alexandra Shipp Attend ‘Drumline 2' Screening

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Gabrielle Union and Doug E. Fresh partied for a good cause in Miami. The YBF actress and hip-hop legend attended the Breast Party ever to help raise breast cancer awareness. Peep their party pics and check out the cast of VH1's Drumline 2: A New Beat on the red carpet at the film's screening inside….

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We’re well into breast cancer awareness month. And to continue to keep folks informed on breast cancer and women’s health, Planned Parenthood and BET joined forces to throw the “BREAST Party Ever”, a community event to help raise awareness about the importance of breast health in women with early detection through self exams and screenings.

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Last night, “Being Mary Jane” star Gabrielle Union and Hip Hop icon Doug E. Fresh came out to support the 2nd Annual Breast Party Ever event at the Overtown Youth Center in Miami.

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Gabby, all smiles in a cute & comfortable look, posed it up alongside Planned Parenthood of South Florida and the Treasure Coast CEO Lillian Tamayo. Lillian encouraged the crowd to become advocates in their communities, and to educate others on the importance of annual exams and breast screenings. She said,

“The Breast Party Ever is Planned Parenthood’s way of honoring Breast Cancer Awareness Month here in Miami, because we know breast health is a serious matter. For more than 12 years we have provided breast health outreach and education across our service area. Women, men, and young people need to understand their risk and be advocates for their own health and that of the people they love.”
 

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Doug E. hopped on the mic to provide the entertainment for the evening.

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The Breast Party Ever brought together women, elected officials, entertainers, medical providers and community leaders to help women take charge of their health through breast cancer education and early detection.

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Gabby took the podium to speak out on the importance of women being in the know when it comes to their breast health. Knowing all too well how important it is to stay healthy, she shared a personal story about losing a close friend from the unfortunate disease.

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And then she partied with guests while Doug E. Fresh performed.

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Doug E. stopped for a few "us-sies" with a fan.

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And DJ D-Nice provided the music for the evening. Partying for a cause....nice!

At another event...

 

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Last night, VH1 held a screening for the upcoming telefilm Drumline 2: A New Beat at the Paramount Theater. And it brought out D2 stars Letoya Luckett, Alexandra Shipp and Jordan Calloway.

The former Destiny’s Child member turned budding actress Letoya Luckett stars in the made-for-tv film as the beautiful and intelligent Dr. Nia Phillips. In the film, she has romantic ties to Sean Taylor (Leonard Roberts) and is on a quest to have Sean return as the band’s leader. Problem is, her ex-husband leads their rival band, who is also Sean’s brother.
 

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The former “Single Ladies” star is also starring in another telefim titled “Seasons of Love” alongside Taraji P. Henson coming to LIFETIME in late November. She is also working on her third album studio album “Until Then.”

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Alexandra Shipp will play Danielle "Dani" Raymond, the brilliant drummer whose goal is to become the first female percussion section leader in the famous Atlanta A&T drumline.

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This year has been a success for the young starlet. She is also playing the lead role of Aaliyah in the upcoming LIFETIME biopic (premiering Nov. 15th at 8pm). FUN FACT: Alexandra sings, dances, plays the piano and the guitar. Go girl!

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Actor Jordan Calloway joined his cast mates on the red carpet for last night’s event. He plays the talented, cocky complicated kid, Jayven LaPierre, the son of a very famous New Orleans jazz drummer.

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And to add a little drumline authenticity, the cast was joined by members of the Brooklyn United Marching Band:

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The film premieres Monday, October 27th at 9PM ET on VH1.

 

BONUS:

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Conscious rapper Common is making a much needed return to the silver screen. He recently wrapped up filming for a demanding role as civil rights activist James Bevel in the upcoming film SELMA and we have the first look at the Chi-town rapper on the set.

Common’s character led the monumental 1963 March on Washington and the 1965 Selma Voting Rights Movement. The epic march from Selma to Montgomery culminated in President Johnson signing the Voting Rights Act of 1965, one of the most significant victories for the civil rights movement.

The Ava DuVerney-directed film will follow civil rights activist Martin Luther King Jr. and his supporters in the civil rights movement that forever altered history. British actor David Oyelowo will be starring as Dr. King, Carmen Ejogo as King's wife Coretta Scott King, Cuba Gooding Jr. as veteran civil rights attorney Fred Gray, Lorraine Toussaint as civil rights activist Amelia Boynton, Niecy Nash as teacher Richie Jean Jackson and Oprah Winfrey and Brad Pitt will serve as producers. The film will hit theaters on December 25, 2014.
 

Photos: Exclusive AccessRowena Husbands

LET THE SHADE BEGIN...."RHOA" Star Kenya Moore FIRES SHOTS At Porsha Williams For Riding Her Coattail, Porsha POPS Back

 

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Those darn Georgia peaches are firing shots, throwing shade and reading volumes.  Check the slick exchange that went down between "RHOA" "peach holder" Kenya Moore and "friend of the housewives" Porsha Williams inside... 

 

Season 7 of RHOA won't premiere on BRAVO until Nov. 9th at 8/7c, but the fireworks have already started. It appears that Miss USA Kenya Moore and Porsha Williams have not kissed and made-up since their exchange at last season's reunion became one of the most talked about fights in reality tv history.

During a recent interview with Enstarz, Kenya was asked about Porsha's demotion to "friend" and the shade began. First Kenya said,

"Um, honestly I don't have any thoughts about it." Then she added, "It's just that I've made people relevant on this show for negative occurrences and I'm just not doing that any more. I think people need to stand on their own two feet and not ride my coattails, and you see when they don't ride my coattails, they don't get very far."

Oh ok then.......

Now...Porsha no longer holds a peach, but she IS nationally syndicated on Dish Nation. When she got wind of what Miss USA said, her new co-workers at "DN" didn't waste anytime getting a rise out of her over Kenya's comments. She fired back with,

"She can't be talking about me.  I mean....you'd have to be doing something for somebody to ride your coattail right?  You've got to be on the way to progression and being successful for somebody to ride your coattail.  I thought. Is that not what that means? I'm just sayin...."

Check it here:

 

As "Hollywood Diva" Golden Brooks would say, "Let the games begin."

 

By the way, remember when Tamar Braxton threw shade at Kenya last week, calling her thirsty?  Kenya had a few more things to say about that to Enstarz,

"It's so interesting because this is not the first time I've heard that and I was on her show, "The Real" last week, and we were all very pleasant to one another and I think that was the only time I've met her in person and there was a very pleasant exchange. So, to see her say that on Bravo, which is my family and that's my home... So you're going to come into my house and disrespect me? I couldn't just stay quiet about that. If it was someone else, I would just ignore it like I always do. But you don't get to come into my house and disrespect me. I was disappointed by her but I will always be nice to her. And I will continue to be nice to her because that's just who I am. But sometimes, when people see you shining--again, she was in my house so maybe she felt some type of way about that."
 

Bloop.

 

Extras:

1.  On the heels of TLC cancelling "Honey Boo Boo" over claims that Mama June is dating a convicted child molestor who recently got out of jail, it's now been revealed that the 8-year-old the man molested....is June's daughter AnnaSTORY

 

Photos via Kenya Moore's Instagram/Porsha Williams's Instagram

 

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