Will The Real Men PLEASE Stand Up!!!!!!!!

I was listening to Mr. Moody's Neighborhood (shout out to Moody, Cousin Ed, Naturel, and Tracy for an AMAZING show!!) and I was so intrigued by everything the crew had to say. So I'm pretty much just going to be piggy backing off of some of the things they spoke on. Granted there are some extraordinary men in the world and we have a great amount of them right here in the hood. Regardless of that fact there is a significant amount of men (or so called men I should say) who are not stepping up to the plate and taking care of their responsibilities. This is not only fathers I'm speaking on, but also brothers, cousins, uncles, friends, etc. Our young boys and young men are growing up in homes with no positive male influence, no male perspective whatsoever. So they look to other resources, the wrong resources to show them how to behave. Instead of behaving and growing into a commendable young man a lot of these boys are being taught to be drug dealers, thugs, gang bangers, absent fathers, women beaters, rapists, abusers, and so many other things. They use the lives of athletes and entertainers for examples and they try to emulate that behavior. There's no male anywhere to tell these young boys that their behavior is unacceptable. As a result so many of these young boys end up in and out of jail, on the streets for the rest of their lives, or dead. There are even young men who have fathers that live in the home, but the father is so emotionally detached from his child(ren). In my opinion, that's worse than not being there at all. But even when the father is absent from the home physically and/or emotionally where are the brothers, the uncles, the cousins? What are they doing to help raise an upstanding young man? Much respect to those single mothers who are raising young boys because I know it's tough, but in my opinion there are certain things a woman cannot teach a boy for him to grow into a respectable man.

So where are our real men?? Where are the men that will step up and teach our boys how to love their children, how to love their wives, how to be a provider for their families, how to live a life that their children could emulate?? Like it was mentioned in the podcast, it's only about 15% of these men out there. So what's going on with the other 85%? (If you haven't listened to the podcast it's a MUST that you do so.) I wish that there were more men in the world like my father and my grandfather. These men handled their responsibilities as fathers, husbands, and heads of their households. On a personal note I definitely have to commend my father. When my mom passed 7+ years ago my father became a single father of 4. My dad did EVERYTHING in his power to make sure we had all that we needed. He never once ran out on us. He never once let us go without. He'd go hungry before he let my brothers and I go hungry. We NEED more men like that in the world, especially in the black community. There are so many single mothers out there whose children have never known their fathers and it's a shame. (SIDE BAR: Ladies if he was a dead beat when you met him WHY would you lay down with him??!! Put a lock on that thang ladies and throw away the key for goodness sakes!! Close your legs!!!) One thing I think people need to learn to do as parents is pray with and for their children. I'm a firm believer in prayer and I've seen it work. Pray for these boys that are out there in the streets trappin and gang banging. Pray for the ones that are growing up without fathers in the home. That's just my stand on it.


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Comment by sunnydelyte21 on May 21, 2012 at 12:54pm

I couldn't agree more. We need more postive men to become mentors to these young men and show the right way, but the same can be said to female. I have to check out this podcast...

Comment by Lina on September 22, 2011 at 6:24pm
Thank you so much for that, classychick1.  It was such a shock to my family. He was only 22 years old.
Comment by classychick1 on September 22, 2011 at 6:18pm

Lina,  My deepest sympathies and condolences to you and your family upon the passing of your brother. Great post, I totally agree!!!!!

Comment by Lina on September 22, 2011 at 3:53pm

You're so lucky to have had positive male influences in your life.  The funny thing is is that my father was not a deadbeat in the sense that he had a very good career in the Navy. He made it all the way to E-9 (which is not an easy thing to do) and he was highly decorated. So it wasn't like he did not have the money to take care of me and my little brother. And yet I could count on one hand the number of times I saw him in my entire life. He was never there for me and my brother, and sadly my brother past away last year so now he will never get to know his son.  I don't know how any man can go through life knowing they have children out there and not wanting to be a part of their lives.  It's not even about the money. It's about being there to help raise them and offer guidance, especially to their sons.  And on a side note, when you have to watch your own children it's not babysitting, men! It's only babysitting when you are watching children that are not yours.  


Baby Sitting: 

Verb: Look after a child or children while the parents are out
Comment by Cousin Ed on June 23, 2011 at 11:09pm
Comment by classychick1 on January 26, 2011 at 8:28pm

Gosh, I could answer this from on so many levels... Fortunately (for him) I loathe my daughter’s father so intensely… I literally just got sick to the point; I can’t even continue to comment on this… SMH

Comment by Jewess on September 23, 2009 at 8:48pm
When i was growing up i learned men were sh--, not because of what i heard but because of what i saw. I either saw one beating a woman, calling one out of their name, disrespecting her by sleeping with her friends, etc. What i saw didn't make me respect men so i developed an attitude of keep them at an arms length or they'll hurt you. Most of these lessons i learned directly from my father. My parents split when i was three, and the men around me were no better example. When it was time to choose my own mate, ok truthfully i wasn't looking for a mate but a fu-- buddy, i needed relief...anyway i went seeking characteristics i thought made a good man. Now years later I now know there are men trying to hold up a standard, trying to love their wives and children as much as they love themselves.
Comment by MsConfident on September 23, 2009 at 8:34pm
~*Ms i agree with you...1000% *~
Comment by LatinTemptress on July 28, 2009 at 11:17am
I grew up with my father for the first 10 yrs of my life then the marriage ended in divorce and we moved to the US from PR. My mom became a single, hard-working parent. As far as male uncles, cousins, etc they had their own families to attend to. We had no father figure after the divorce. IMO, children need their fathers as much as their mothers and I know that although my own father was no longer there for us, that there are good men out there. Men that through circumstance are not allowed to see their children and spend time with them even though the check is in the mail every week. Men that suffer the injustice of the family court's inadequate system that favors a dysfunctional baby momma over a good father. Men that cannot even talk to their child on the phone because their baby momma is a vindictive bitch or her new man is laying up in her home and won't allow this child to speak to his father. I wish I'd had a father there to teach me and guide me and love me so that I wouldn't have had to learn my lessons through trial and error.
I am also going to piggy-back on the comment by Ms.China: Men teach your sons how to treat a woman. Don't teach them that sticking every chick they meet makes them a man and that if he turns down sex with a woman that he is gay or a punk. Teach them to respect women and show your child what a real relationship is by respecting their mother. Show your sons that honest work is the road to success. Teach your daughters that to love themselves and show her love and pride so that no man could ever manipulate her. Teach her that she is worthy of love and respect and teach her to become an independent thinker. Tell your daughters that they are smart and beautiful so that she doesn't need to seek confirmation otherwise. Real men are out there, I know, I am in a committed relationship with one. ;-)
Comment by Ms. China on June 11, 2009 at 4:41pm
I am a 30 year old mother of three. I teach preschool and also attend University of Phoenix online. I have my own house and car. I said all that to say this....I am raising three kids on my own. The fact that their fathers aren't in their lives pushes me to achieve more and more goals each day. I know people will blame what they do on the fact that their mothers or fathers were not in their lives. Children lead by example, my hard work proves to my children that no matter what may come your way you can do it. Yes at times I do get tired but the joy of knowing my kids have a roof over their heads, have food, clothes, and everything else they need fills me with energy. Using the absence of a parent is just another excuse that one person made and everybody liked it. The lack of a parent should push you to become a better role model for your own children. Although my kids fathers are not in their lives I make sure someone in the family knows whats going on with them. Growing up I was raised by only one parent and it wasn't because she didn't want the responsibility. As a woman that didn't make me decide to leave my kids. People often ask my why I consider my mother such a role model. The reason is although she had reason for leaving I refuse to become what my mother was. When I was pregnant with my youngest son my mother became very ill. Now I could have neglected the fact that she was my mother just as she had when I was younger but as a child of God I stepped up and did what I knew was right. I took care of her from May 2002-January 2007 when she passed away. I don't regret one thing that I did for her in her time of need. The problem with the world today is we hold grudges. So what if your baby's father isn't there step up and be both mom and dad. Don't talk down on him in front of your kids, that was a decision you made. What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger!!!! Women its not hard to teach a boy to become a man. I'm sure men in your past have hurt you in some way, teach your son the opposite of what you've been through. Men teach your daughter's that everything that looks good to you is not good for you. You have hurt women tell your daughter what to look for to end the cycle. Stop making excuses for the way your life has turned out its nobody's fault but your own. For every cause there is an effect, don't put others in situations you wouldn't want to be in yourself. And when you do things to hurt your fellow man remember......your kids will one day become adults and you don't want the same thing to happen to them. I am a firm believer that you reap what you sow. I hope my comment has not offended anyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Young, Black, and Fabulous

INSTAGRAM ROUND UP: Lupita Nyong’o Covers Harper’s Bazaar UK May 2015 Issue, Ciara Stunts In NYC, Lil Wayne & Mannie Fresh Hit The Stage & More

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In today’s Instagram round up, we have a flawless magazine cover from Lupita Nyong'o, flicks of Ciara making rounds in NYC, Lil Wayne & Mannie Fresh performing in Miami and much more. Peep the pics inside….

Oscar winner Lupita Nyong'o is slaying yet another magazine cover. And she is giving us all of our life!

The Kenyan beauty is looking effortlessly flawless on the cover of Harper’s Bazaar’s May 2015 issue, shot by photographer Alexi Lumbromirski. The sneak peek is the subscribers’ cover, which features the YBF actress rocking a white floral Fendi dress oozing gorgeousness. Pure perfection.

Once the cover story surfaces, we will definitely bring it to you.

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Mom Ciara was on a solo run today (sans Baby Future) serving "tomboy chic" as she made her rounds in NYC. Chick rocked a nude suede Theory jacket and shorts, paired with a black Versace tee and lace-up Giuseppe Zanotti boots. Do we love it?

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"Instant Mom" star Tia Mowry Hardrict spent her Sunday Funday with her pregnant twin sister/ "The Real" co-host Tamera Mowry Housley, her son Cree and her nephew Aden. The clan snapped "us-ies" and shared many laughs. Fun times.

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R&B singer and reality star Tamar Braxton & Vince Herbert's son Logan was too freakin' adorable in his "grown man" attire. Tamar posted the kiddie cuteness on the 'gram today.

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"Being Mary Jane" star Gabrielle Union kept it cute for her Sunday Funday festivities in a fedora and lace shirt.

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Over the weekend, Lil Wayne and Mannie Fresh reunited in Miami for the Red Bull Guest House show. Wayne performed a few of his hits including “Ms. Officer,” “I’m Going In” and dropped his verse from Nicki Minaj’s “Only.” After his set, he told the concertgoers he will be releasing his new Free Weezy Album sometime next month.

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Lil Wayne's ex-wife Toya Wright spent her weekend on a girls' getaway in Jamaica with her sister to keep her mind clear of her current martial issues with her husband MempHitz:

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She captioned, "Because I have a sister....I will always have a friend. #sistersvacay #Jamaica #dunnsriverfall" How nice. The former reality star will be releasing a new book soon titled, "How To Lose A Husband."

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Kanye West popped up at Travis Scott's sold-out show in L.A. on Saturday. He captioned, "KANYE SURVIVED. THE RODEO"

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Detroit rapper Dej Loaf celebrated her grandmother's 90th birthday with family yesterday.

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Former "Basketball Wives: Miami" star Evelyn Lozada has landed her own reality show, starring her life with her fiance/ professional baseball player Carl Crawford, her daughter Shaniece Lozada and her baby boy Carl Leo Jr. The show will be coming to the OWN Network in July, so she and her daughter had some fun in the OWN offices today, posing it up in front of the "O."

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Oh...and Ashanti's sister Shia Douglas is doing a little pre-birthday celebrating with some wild birthday behavior. Shia, her big sis Ashanti, her boyfriend Slow Bucks and a group of her friends are living it up on a yacht off the coast of Miami. Yes, based on the pic above, you can see what type of shenanigans are going down.

Peep a few clips from the birthday madness below:







Well alright.



Photos/Videos: @gabunion/@toyawright/@ciara/@djmanniefresh/@tamarbraxtonher/@travisscott/@dejloaf/@tameramowrytwo/@shaniceceh/@ashanti/@houseoflure/@liltuneshi

TIDAL LAUNCH EVENT: Jay Z, Beyonce, Rihanna, Kanye West, Alicia Keys, Nicki Minaj, Usher, J. Cole & More

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Jay Z launched his TIDAL music streaming service today in NYC. And we have the pics of Kanye West, Beyonce, Rihanna, Alicia Keys, Nicki Minaj, Usher, J Cole and more in attendance. Check them out inside....


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Today, Jay Z made history with the launch of his brand new music streaming service TIDAL, with the backing of his celeb friends (and family), including his wife Beyonce, Kanye West, Rihanna, Alicia Keys, Usher, J. Cole and more.

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TIDAL is the next step in the evolution of streaming. It's a global entertainment streaming service and artist hub that delivers high-fidelity streaming music along with exclusive content, editorial, experiences and merchandise. Jay acquired the company for $56 Million earlier this year.

The YBF folks gathered at the Skylight at Moynihan Station in New York City today for the official launch of the new service. New mom (for the 2nd time) Alicia Keys took the podium to talk about the first ever artist owned global music and entertainment platform, which she dubbed, "the beginning of a whole new era."

The "Girl On Fire" singer said TIDAL will be a place to connect artist and fans where the artists will deliver exclusive experiences for their fans. It will be a destination to discover new music and it's main goal is to preserve the way we consume music.

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Bey hit the stage in a LaQuan Smith SS15 jumpsuit for the event. We feelin' it?

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During the event, we learned everyone standing on the stage are part owners of the company. The full list of owners include: Jay Z, Beyonce, Alicia Keys, Kanye West, Nicki Minaj, Rihanna, Usher, Madonna, Daft Punk, Calvin Harris, Chris Martin of Coldplay, Jack White, Jason Aldean, Win Butler and Régine Chassagne of Arcade Fire and Deadmau5. Now we know why they all turned their social media profiles blue.

Following A. Keys' speech, each owner came forward to sign the declaration to make it all official.

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Check it:



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Alicia, Nicki & Bey got silly, making faces and snapping pics. Ha!

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And of course, Nicki's boo Meek Mill wasn't far behind.


Peep this behind-the-scenes look at the making of TIDAL below:


Photos: Getty/Nicki's IG

BRAVO CONFIRMS NeNe Leakes & Kim Zolciak-Biermann's New Series “NeNe and Kim: The Road to Riches” + Gabrielle Douglas Nabs Her Own Show On OXYGEN

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Over the weekend, TheYBF.com tipped you off about an upcoming show starring frenemies NeNe Leakes and Kim Zolciak-Biermann. And now BRAVO is confirming the news and has released the working title, “NeNe and Kim: The Road to Riches." Also, OXYGEN has given Olympic gold medalist Gabrielle Douglas her own docu-series. Deets inside….

On Saturday, TheYBF.com exclusively reported about an new reality series starring friends-turned-enemies-turned-friends again NeNe Leakes and Kim Zolciak-Biermann. And now, BRAVO has confirmed the news (along with the ladies) and have revealed the working title.

After publicly reconciling on “Watch What Happens Live” back in December, the ladies are now gearing up to bring their crazy, rollercoaster friendship to a brand new reality show. We told you the show would be serving up a Thelma and Louise road trip tease and that was also confirmed.

Per the press release, the ladies will drive out of their comfort zones and across the country to discover America on a one-of-a-kind adventure. The road to L.A. may be paved with good intentions, but that doesn’t mean they won’t occasionally drive each other crazy. NeNe and Kim together non-stop? You know they’re going to get into it.

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The ladies took to social media to announce their new projects. NeNe captioned, " IT'S OFFICIALLY @kimzolciakbiermann and I have our own spin off show only on #BRAVO! We announced it today in New York City with our entire Bravo & True Entertainment family. Thank you for believing in us we are about to hit The Road To Riches."


Kim happily announced, "It's OFFICIAL!!! My girl @neneleakes and I are doing a show together! We are in NYC today together and made the BIG announcement!! We are so excited for " Road to Riches #dontbetardyfortheBiermann's #BRAVO"

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And, of course, their hubbies were there to support their new venture. NeNe's husband Gregg Leakes and Kim's hubby Kroy Biermann came out to NYC to be with their significant others for the big reveal. The Biermanns have plenty to celebrate as they will also be starring in brand new  season of “Don’t Be Tardy."

Along with NeNe & Kim’s new series, there are a host of new shows coming to BRAVO. Below are a few:


“Married to Medicine Houston”

The popular franchise heads to the largest medical community in the country for "Married to Medicine Houston." These diverse and driven young doctors and wives of physicians look like they have it all— educated, sexy and at the top of their game. But peel back the layers and you will see that new obstacles might threaten their momentum. After punishing years of sacrifice and putting life on hold, how they navigate marriage, children, family and social pressure will either derail their promising careers or prove that they can have it all. Produced by Fremantle North America and developed by Purveyors of Pop with Matt Anderson and Nate Green serving as Executive Producers.


“Ladies of Dallas” (working title)
From glamorous galas to scintillating scandals, and supersized spending habits, life in the elite tier of the Dallas social scene is hard to crack, and even harder to maintain. Whether driven by vanity, personal validation, or career advancement, these Lone Star ladies all share the same goal- to climb the social ladder and stay on top. Produced by Goodbye Pictures with Rich Bye and Andrew Hoegl serving as Executive Producers.

Coming to OXYGEN....

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Olympic gold medalist Gabrielle Douglas will star (and executive produce) in a brand new docu-series documenting her road to the upcoming 2016 Olympics with the working titled “Douglas Family Gold”. After becoming the first African-American to win the individual all-around gold medal at the 2012 Summer Olympics, the young athlete is ready to repeat history in her quest for some more gold.

Here’s a synopsis of the show below:

Gabrielle “Gabby” Douglas stunned the world in 2012 by becoming the first African American in history to win the individual all-around gold medal at the Summer Olympics. Behind her meteoric rise was a supportive family willing to sacrifice everything for years to help her dream. Now 19, Gabby is ready to do it all over again in hopes of making it back to the medal podium in 2016. The bi-coastal Douglas family shuttles between California and Ohio to support Gabby’s training regimen while also juggling their own lives. Her brother John is the family's second Olympic hopeful in track and field, while devoted sisters Arie and Joy are eager to blaze their own paths. “Momager” Natalie keeps this tight-knit family in-check, knowing regardless of what happens, “Team Douglas” has already won gold.

Nick Cannon and his NCredible Entertainment company (along with Michael Goldman) will be brining a new reality series to OXYGEN tentatively titled, “The Hustle.” Peep what we can expect below:

This coming-of-age series follows the dynamic and hard-working assistants to successful entrepreneurs and entertainers. With blood, sweat and tears, these ambitious 20-somethings are willing to do whatever it takes to learn the ropes one step at a time so they can climb the ranks. These assistants are exposed to a life of privilege at work, traveling on private jets and attending lavish red carpet events, however, at the end of the day, they struggle just to pay rent and find time for their own personal lives.

And a new show “Preachers of Atlanta” will be joining the franchise. Here's what we can expect:

Atlanta is not only the home to fast cars, sprawling mansions and the southern elite, but a new generation of up-and-coming preachers who are superstars of the pulpit. The third installation from the popular franchise, “Preachers of Atlanta” documents the lives of the city’s young elite mega-pastors as they focus on the daily struggles and triumphs as husbands, wives, fathers, mothers and friends, while also maintaining their duties as men and women of God.

Also, “Sisterhood of Hip Hop” will returning for season two. Set your DVRs!


Photos: Nene's IG/Kim's IG

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