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Permalink Reply by Lac on March 1, 2009 at 9:27am

I've never been with a white woman, probably because I haven't seen one that I'm attracted to, but I can see a lot of the reasons why men go outside the race. Are black men still attracted to black women? HELL YEAH! Are black men given other options versus dealing with the bull that come with a lot of black women? Hell yeah! A lot of games are being played these days and like i heard some women say on the show called "michael baisden", the women were all saying they were going to white men because of the same games and issues.

So again, to answer your question, Yes we are still attracted to black women. It's just the mentality and thought process I think some men aren't attracted to in most black women.

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Permalink Reply by Cousin Ed on March 1, 2009 at 12:00pm

This is how I feel about my SISTERS:

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Permalink Reply by SweetErykah on March 1, 2009 at 1:04pm

Raheem Devaughn is one of my fave people. Love mostly all of his music.
To be honest I haven't felt desired, wanted needed nor loved the way he is talking about in a very long time. I've had that once in a relationship. The ones there after, nothing. They were shallow. No effort was placed on trying to keep stuff going. I felt I was doing it alone. I realized If I'm at it alone... Then it is obvious he is no longer into me. So I broke it off... And he was confused on why...Uh...HUH? I was lost on why he just didn't get it. In ref to Lac's comment. I see how and why some black men would venture out to other races. Because black women are and can be a chore. But why want something that comes so easy? It can leave just as quick as you got it. Why not work at a relationship. Women should do the same as well. Not to many people work hard at a relationship anymore or marriage. They just give up and move on.

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Permalink Reply by Lac on March 1, 2009 at 1:31pm

You ask, "But why want something that comes so easy?" It depends on what you are referring to. If a guy has to go thru the pains of dealing with an ego, materialism, conceit, or over-bearing independence moniker, then easy is always preferred. I'd rather settle for the easy, which for me is a woman who is ready to see us as a team, respectful for what I do and we can compliment each others attributes. Thats much easier than the "what can you do for me" lifestyle.

SweetErykah said:

Raheem Devaughn is one of my fave people. Love mostly all of his music.
To be honest I haven't felt desired, wanted needed nor loved the way he is talking about in a very long time. I've had that once in a relationship. The ones there after, nothing. They were shallow. No effort was placed on trying to keep stuff going. I felt I was doing it alone. I realized If I'm at it alone... Then it is obvious he is no longer into me. So I broke it off... And he was confused on why...Uh...HUH? I was lost on why he just didn't get it. In ref to Lac's comment. I see how and why some black men would venture out to other races. Because black women are and can be a chore. But why want something that comes so easy? It can leave just as quick as you got it. Why not work at a relationship. Women should do the same as well. Not to many people work hard at a relationship anymore or marriage. They just give up and move on.

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Permalink Reply by Naturel on March 1, 2009 at 9:41pm

Great question Erykah, I have experienced a lot of the things that you have gone through...I have been around brothers and had to listen to them lustfully talk about women from Brazil, or women that are "mixed" it seemed like they glorified every woman of every other culture other than their own. I can not recall a guy ever looking in essence magazine and saying "dam that's a beautiful dark skinned sister". I soon realized that if a brother didn't look at me and wanted to get to know ME, then he wasn't the one for me...PERIOD! I'm not a guy so i cant answer this question..but I'm curious to know the answer....

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Permalink Reply by Brooklyn's Finest on March 2, 2009 at 9:26pm

I think black women got a lot of shit with them. I'm not saying that my brothers are perfect by ANY means but what I am saying is that we as women have portrayed this "I don't need your ass and I do what I want when I want" image that brothers don't want to nor do they have to or should have to deal with it so some look outside. I believe that some are not ready for the challenge, some are not mature enough, some just know that it don't have a face and that is what they need at that time of their life. I think they are attracted to black women but black women are wearing the dress and the pants now and not putting up with bullshit so the weak brother will turn to the one who will put up with the bullshit.

When he is ready to teach and be taught, when he is ready to be a man in every sense of the word...he'll be back:-)

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Permalink Reply by Lac on March 3, 2009 at 9:49am

What makes a brother weak for dating another race? I was with you until you headed towards the end. Like you said, some men just don't want to deal with the tag that some women carry. They may just have found their ideal mate in that white, asian, hispanic, or whatever woman. They may have figured out that they don't have anything in common with the woman who's always feeling like she doesn't have to have a man or that she can do it all on her own. Maybe they found that team player in another race. I don't see that as being weak. They just found somebody that fits them.

Just like some women want a dude they can feel comfortable with, so they want to date the big dudes. Then you have the women only date dark skin brothers. Then you have some women that date light skin brothers. Some women date outside the race. They aren't weak, they just found what works for them. They just might not think a relationship should be a challenge. I can name a handful of people on this NDN site alone that I believe aren't having challenges in their marriages. They work hand and hand and compliment one another. At least that's what I see and hear when I talk to them. You know who you are. They are motivation that it don't take all of that to enjoy a relationship and they are still going strong. Now thats how a BLACK relationship should be. This ain't a competition, why deal with a challenge? You either love each other and can talk things out or one can try to play both roles in the relationship and call it a challenge.

Games are played by both male and female. You also have the power trip that some women have these days. They want to wear the pants, skirt, boots, pumps, wigs, braids, and bald heads. Some guys aren't with that. Men want a woman to play the woman they saw growing up, but they aren't going to get that these days. They aren't use to the smart talk and/or the "I'm the head woman in charge, you do it" attitude.

Just my two...

Brooklyn's Finest said:

I think black women got a lot of shit with them. I'm not saying that my brothers are perfect by ANY means but what I am saying is that we as women have portrayed this "I don't need your ass and I do what I want when I want" image that brothers don't want to nor do they have to or should have to deal with it so some look outside. I believe that some are not ready for the challenge, some are not mature enough, some just know that it don't have a face and that is what they need at that time of their life. I think they are attracted to black women but black women are wearing the dress and the pants now and not putting up with bullshit so the weak brother will turn to the one who will put up with the bullshit.

When he is ready to teach and be taught, when he is ready to be a man in every sense of the word...he'll be back:-)

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Permalink Reply by Mr Real Will on March 5, 2009 at 10:13am

HELL YES BLACK WOMEN ARE THE MOST
BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE ON THE PLANET. FLAWLESS SKIN. IF A BLACK MAN IS NOT ATTRACTED TO A BLACK WOMAN THEN HE IS MISSING OUT ON WHAT I FEEL IS GREATNESS. BLACK WOMEN ARE THE $%$^

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Permalink Reply by Sean on March 7, 2009 at 5:29pm

TRUE INDEED.....................................COULDN'T HAVE SAID IT ANY BETTER MYSELF MR.REAL WILL!!!!!!!

Mr Real Will said:

HELL YES BLACK WOMEN ARE THE MOST
BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE ON THE PLANET. FLAWLESS SKIN. IF A BLACK MAN IS NOT ATTRACTED TO A BLACK WOMAN THEN HE IS MISSING OUT ON WHAT I FEEL IS GREATNESS. BLACK WOMEN ARE THE $%$^

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Permalink Reply by mr.moody on March 8, 2009 at 8:48pm

Mannnnnn.....first of all, thank u, SweetErykah! Thank for coming right into the hood and posting one of the best forums that we have as far as topics are concerned.
Heres how i see it. OF COURSE BLACK MEN ARE ATTRACTED TO BLACK WOMEN!.....BUT..........
We are NOT attracted to the ATTITUDES of black women! (most of ya'll...not all)
As usual, Brotha' Lac has taken the sentiment right out of my thoughts! We love ya'll, we are attracted to ya'll...but we have too many 'options' nowadays to deal with all of the BS that comes with ya'll!
Lets get this straight, this is not a "black issue'..this is a 'man/women' issue.
Who wants a women that drags the luggage from their previous relationship into the present? Who wants a bitter ass chick that is so focused on tellin' u that u aint shit, that she cant she that SHE aint shit? Who wants a chick that pre-judges you by what u drive and wear before she can even get to know u?...The answer is ....NOBODY!
Now listen...men have the same issues...but right now...we are talking about Ya'll!
Like LAC said, u got sistas that are on radio shows talking about how they are going to start dating white men only....i say, GOOD! BE GONE! VAMOOSE! When a black woman says that there are no more good black men, it only means that she has overlooked EVERY brotha that was the right one for her, but wasnt driving the right car...or wearing the right namebrand clothes, or wasnt dark/light enuff, or didnt have the same education, or was too short/tall, slim/fat. Those women..rob the 100% sistas of good men by turning nuckas off so much that we start dating ANYBODY!!!
Are we attracted? YES!! However, heres a question i would like every sista to ask themselves.... after every thing that i just explained...if u were in our shoes....would U even be attracted...to u?
just asking.....
great topic! we have to podcast this one!

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Permalink Reply by mr.moody on March 8, 2009 at 9:10pm

One more thing! Just like Brotha' Lac asked.."why is a brotha weak for dating another race?"
Why does it make a nuggah weak if he find happiness outside of ya'll?
im just askin'......

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Permalink Reply by Brooklyn's Finest on March 9, 2009 at 12:51pm

See....I didn't even see that. I said "the weak brother will turn to the one who will put up with the bullshit".

Does that mean she's white? Since both of you put so much emphasis on that part of my post...wassup? Is he weak because he's dating a white woman?

LOLOL

mr.moody said:

One more thing! Just like Brotha' Lac asked.."why is a brotha weak for dating another race?"
Why does it make a nuggah weak if he find happiness outside of ya'll?
im just askin'......

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