Is Sexual Eroticism Dead In Your Relationship??
But for some men tender love comes at a price. Sadly, the price is........the lack of sexual heat and lustful seduction. I find it somehow disrespectful for the woman involved based on past experiences and friends of mine who have gone through this kind of situation? Most men find themselves treading on this tight rope because they can do so and when woman complain about it, the result in most cases is less sex but not all cases!
These struggles are quite common in a relationship that it makes me wonder… Is lustful passion so objectifying that it can’t coexist with gentle love?
During courtship, we usually have no issues maintaining the sexual heat. So what happens when commitment checks in? All bets seem to be off and thrown out the window because by now we are all comfortable with each other and are used to doing things a certain way where there is no compromise inside the confines of the bedroom and thus people are often taken for granted and then if people are not careful that's when people creep outside of the bedroom to satisfy those lustful sexual urges that they are not recieving at home!
Looking at how sex is portrayed in films, lust is clearly divorced from being compassionate and seductive. A man grabs the woman, pushes her against the wall, practically presses his lips on her, the nibbles seem somewhat hurting (but oh no… they aren’t) …. Sooooo HOT!!!
Now look at it in this terms folks.....compare what I just explained to a married couple or people in a relationship together in bed: A tender gentle kiss on cheek, snuggling & cuddling.......not as hot though from that perspective.
Both men and women can get somwhat confused. It’s like it’s either one or the other.
I know for a fact that I have friends who are married or just in a relationship for a long period of time over the years who have no trouble merging these two extremes together. These lucky folks can move flawlessly from gentle sexual experiences to the rough animalistic encounters that leave one screaming “OH MY GOD” and "OH F**K YES....YES F**K ME HARDER!"
For such couples, the emotion of love is brought into some steamy physical expression!!
It's not easy to explain why this happens in some relationships and not others. During dating, its easy to merge both kindness and lust because for some reason, couples feel like they have nothing to lose; plus you have to impress. But I think its all guided by a number of things such a.........trust issues, struggle for relationship control, religion, society’s view of lustful expression of love and fear of becoming unlovable.
On one hand, society urges us to freely express our sexual desires; on the other hand society judges those who do harshly – even those in committed relationships. As a result, we retreat to our shells and not ope up and be the person that we are on the inside and who we are all about as individuals!
So how can we maintain sexual passion without compromising the loving connection with our significant other?
When we give less attention to our genitals, and more attention to the sensual stuff (scent, touch of skin against skin, sound); when you explore one's entire body, eroticism and tenderness emerge. Playfulness also creates a deep connection between individuals. Turn the childlike play into erotic play. Trust me, something as simple as laughter has a way of loosening people up........I know this from experience!!
The other thing we forget to do is making our spouses feel loved, desired and sexy all at the same time. So when you deprive the person you love of such feelings, they will definitely go into some cage. Also, fantasizing about someone else when you are with your partner re-awakens the animal in you. Try switching from imagining you are with someone else and back to your partner. Better still, why not fantasize about that moment your partner lusted after you and made passionate love to you.
Talk about it and put your defenses aside........move away from your comfort zones as a couple.
Ladies, make your man know that lustful expressions of love won’t be interpreted as objectification.
Men, allow your woman to express herself by assuring her that exploring her inner stripper won’t be viewed as being “Slutty”.
In the end it takes two…....it takes practice. I believe loving someone and lusting after someone are not exclusive to one another by nature. In the end look at it as an adventure!
Which adventure do YOU wanna travel on??
Badge
Young, Black, and Fabulous
Beyonce Preps TWO New Projects (Including New Album) For 2012
One of Beyonce's producers just spilled the beans that the new mom is--unsurprisingly--gearing up for her fifth solo studio album. Plus, she's got a second project up her sleeve for 2012. Deets inside...
Told y'all this chick was planning album content while she was breastfeeding and changing diapers. Baby Blue's mom is said to be already setting up to work on a new album. And yes, B.I.C. will likely be her muse. Producer/Songwriter Ryan Tedder, who just copped an award at last night's GRAMMYS for contributing to Adele's Album of the Year, 21, revealed some generalities.
He said it goes “without saying” that Bey’s work will have some reflection on her newborn child Blue Ivy, but that “the conversations about her next album literally just happened.”
“You feed her the best that you have. She’s just a phenomenal filter… she can identify what the next thing is,” Tedder said of the “Party” girl, noting that she has “two projects happening” this year. “You just let her go.”
Bey is also conducting a global remix competition for her fans. The best remix of her track "End of Time" will appear on a future release.
Here we go...
Drake And Rihanna, Matt & Gloria Govan, Gabby Union & Savannah Brinson PARTY IT Up At His Grammy Afterparty
Drake clearly enjoyed the Grey Goose sponsorship.
Tyga got his party on. No Blac Chyna?
Nicki Minaj Covers NEW YORK Magazine, Explains Controversial GRAMMY Performance
Nicki Minaj is talking about fashion--and why she's over that world. The "Stupid H*e" rapper tells New York Magazine that she's not about fitting into the IN crowd. And she tells Ryan Seacreast why she went the route she did last night....
In a series of candid shots with gritty special effects, Nicki poses for the Spring FASHION issue of New York magazine. Here's highlights from her interesting perspective about the fashion world--and why she's skipping NY Fashion Week for the most part:
Are you coming back to Fashion Week this time?
I’m not impressed to be in that world. I’m in my own world. I think sometimes the fashion world isn’t even about clothes anymore; it’s about this “in” crowd, and I’m not into that. But I’m doing a Barbie fashion show. They did a Barbie for me, and that is super friggin’ amazing.So is it safe to assume that you were always interested in fashion?
I’ve always been intrigued by color and by interesting hair. I was one of those weird little girls doing my own hair at the age of 9. I was, like, getting weird gels and new brushes and cornrow holders. I would tweak and perm at the age of 13. When I first went to get my hair colored, I was about 14 and I wanted blonde highlights. The beautician said, “No, you have to get your mother on the phone,” and I was just crying and begging. I’ve always been experimenting. Cyndi Lauper’s videos—that’s what intrigued me.And you definitely use your looks to get noticed.
I like the idea of doing something that everyone else is not. I get high off that. Just the idea that other people don’t have the balls to do something—that’s my thing.
Here's the rest of her pics:
And if you're still scratching your head about her performance last night at the GRAMMY Awards--you're not the only one.
She talked to Ryan Seacrest today on his radio show and revealed a few things:
On attending the Grammys with a Pope look-alike: “The religious figure is there because he was called on by Roman’s mom to rehabilitate him.”
On her debut performance of “Roman Holiday”: “I had this vision for him to be sort of exorcised—or actually he never gets exorcised—but people around him tell him he’s not good enough because he’s not normal, he’s not blending in with the average Joe. And so his mother is scared and the people around him are afraid because they’ve never seen anything like him. He wanted to show that not only is he amazing and he’s sure of himself and confident, but he’s never gonna change, he’s never gonna be exorcised. Even when they throw the holy water on him, he still rises above.”
On why she chose “Roman Holiday” for the Grammys: “The Grammys chose ‘Roman Holiday.’ The producers of the Grammys came to the studio and I played them ‘Roman Holiday,’ and I could not play them another record after they heard that. They went crazy. I could have chosen to do a no-brainer pop song, but I can’t do it anymore. I have to stay true to what I’m doing.”
Feel like we're listening to a 12-year-old during a tea party with her imaginary friends. But if that's what works...
Here's the audio in full:
Peep Nicki's performance from last night HERE in case you missed it.
And Nicki's Nickelodeon Kid's Choice Awards promo with Will Smith. The show airs live Saturday, March 31 at 8 p.m.
© 2012 Created by The Fam.
