"Damn, How Much Weight Are You Gonna Gain?"
Weight is a much talked about issue in the world, but right now we're gonna say "fuck the world" and talk about weight issues in relationships. Here is an example:
Tina and Jerry have been together for a few years, but most importantly, they knew each other very well before dating. They did everything together including work out. Tina knew that Jerry did not like a woman "over" a certain weight and Jerry knew that Tina did not like men "under" a certain weight. Well, now its a few years later and Tina is inching her way to the no-no weight and Jerry is not happy at all. He has now asked her to lose the extra weight and she is pissed.
Question: Is Jerry justified in asking Tina to handle what he sees as weight problem and
If your man/woman asks you to lose/gain weight how would you feel? Would you do it?
Im going to start my answer by saying Tina has no right to be pissed because she knew that Jerry didnt like all of the extra weight in the BEGINNING. If in fact this is the case and my man asked me to lose it then I would do it. I would want him to be happy. However,if this were a case where likes and dislikes were not established in the beginning and he came to me like that then I'd feel differently. As for right now, I'm going to step out of the way and hear what the fam has to say....
Much Love,
Ms. Musiq
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by mr.moody on -
Queen, Queen, Queen....MAnnnnnnn, Damnnnnn....see. This is bigger than just weight, this is another example of people that enter into relationships as if they were games.
How can this chick be mad, when she knew from the gate what he liked and desired, AND she abided by that!
Too many people put on facades to GET a mate, then when they have that mate secured, they let the REAL them come out! Why did she gain weight? Did she get pregnant and found it hard to lose that weight? If so, that damn Jerry needs to GET OVER IT!! If a woman gains weight and doesnt give a shit, thats one thing. If she gains weight from giving birth and is trying to lose it, but cant...it is what it is....
Did she gain weight from being too comfortable? If so, thats a fukin problem!
Tina needs to get her punk ass in the gym and burn that blubber off!!! One note for jerry tho'-Look mofo, make sure you keep ur shit tight! If u gon' get atcha lady over weight, make sure YOU dont fall off! im just sayin.....
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Permalink Reply by Shawn on -
I have to agree with you, Ms. Musiq. Tina does not have a right to be upset. She knew what the weight boundaries were from the beginning and it sounds like she just let herself go.
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Permalink Reply by Pooh on -
I see it like this. She know what the deal was before the relationship jumped off. Now she is mad, baby get off the gas. Put down the Lil Debbie cakes and pick a membership card the 24 hr Fitness. Hell, if my man told me he wanted me to loose some weight. Then I am at the gym everytime he go or jamming w/ the oldies along with Richard Simmons........LOL
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Permalink Reply by Lyrical Beauty on -
Good topic Ms. Musiq!!! Here are my thoughts. Yes, I agree that Tina has no right to be upset. She knew from day one what weight Jerry desired and as Moody said she decided to abide by that. But also, it's all in the way Jerry approached her about losing the weight. If he came in a loving, caring way, then Tina just needs to get up, run a few laps around the block, and stop complaining. If Jerry came to her in a mean and hateful way, then yeah I'd be mad too. It's all in the delivery if you ask me. It's not what you say, but how you say it. Now if she did a certain thing to get Jerry, but then let it all go after she got Jerry the she's dead wrong. I'm a firm believer in whatever it took to get it, the same is required to maintain it. And that applies to everything....relationships, businesses, Christendom, everything. I would ask the same question Moody asked: why did she gain weight? If it was pregnancy or some other medical condition, then Jerry just needs to suck it up and shut up. But if Tina has just been eating like a pig and the only exercise she gets is fork to mouth, then Jerry needs to light that wild fire under her butt!!!!!
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Permalink Reply by Laydee Redd on -
I concur with u all. First of all, initial attraction is physical. Why people think that they can let themselves go once the relationship has been secured is beyond me. Secondly, communication is the key. We must enter into mature relationships and part of that is being open and honest about expectations and boundaries. In this case the expectations were clear. He was attracted to her physique and wanted it maintained. Jerry was MATURE enough to let Tina know that he wasn't feeling the bulge. Hell, even if they hadn't discused it previously, the fact that Jerry let her know how he felt about the extra pounds she was packing on should have given her added respect for his honesty and motivation to put down the fork and go for a jog. Now, be it post pregnancy weight, or Lil Debbie Snack Cake weight, Jerry should be supportive and help Tina by offering positive encouragement. Lastly, the same goes for him. He better keep his shit tight 2. Or, if he knows that he's slacking, let her know that they can work it out together to get back where they need to be.
Say it again, Lyrical Beauty. "whatever it took to get it, the same is required to maintain it".
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Permalink Reply by Ms. Musiq on -
OMG!!!..Ima have to ask a few of ya'll to go get in the corner..lol. Moody, "burn the blubber off"....Queen Alicia, sweating with the oldies, ....Lyrical Beauty, exercising with the spoon and fork...Ya'll been cutting up all week...lol..I love the hood!!
At any rate, there was no pregnancy and absolutely no medical condition. I have to agree that this was a case of just becoming too comfortable. We all seem to agree that Tina needs to stop whinning and just get the weight off, but I'm amazed at how many people would say the opposite.
This issue was brought up in a discussion earlier in the week and there were a couple of people ready to go to war because they felt like no matter what , he should just be happy with her. WTF?!!..
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Permalink Reply by mr.moody on
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Queen Musiq..if she has gained that weight due to comfortability, then her ass needs to woman the fuk up!!! Dude told her the deal from the gate, so how silly is she to get too comfy? Listen..i dont work out for my wifey, I work out for ME!! I work out for my vitality, mental well being and general health. When we give a fuk about ourselves, we give a fuk about everyone around us! I had sustained a serious injury that caused me to be inactive for like 8 months! In that amount of time, i picked up 40 extra pounds. My wifey would tell me that i was gettin a bit pudgy, but she also understood why. One day i was felling like shit and went to the ER. my blood pressure was 160/120!!!! THAT IS FUKIN STROKE LEVELS! They had to give me an iv and all! The doctor asked me if i wanted to see my daughter grow up! (UMMM..YEAH, MUHFUCKA!!!) I knew where he was going with that. he told me i needed to shake That weight and get serious about long term health. Mannnnn, i got my ass in the fukin gym and went straight RAMBO IN THAT BITCH!!!! Dropped that 40pounds and still dropping! Fuck being comfy! This shit is also about life and living without self inflicted ailments! Losing weight is some hard shit, but give me a big chick that is DEDICATED to losing that blub, and i'll ride with her ass till the wheels fall off! Homegirl needs ta lose that shit...not even so much for him, but for her. Now in all fairness, that nucka shouldnt get out there and start creepin just because his woman done got her 'inflation' on...he should try to help her out and all of that, but if she just dont give a shit...i would understand if he went and found a gym-bunny to smash up!!!! it is what it is, yall! If she dont give a fuk about herself....why should he?
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Permalink Reply by mr.moody on
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btw-for all of the hood Kings/Queens that may be struggling with weight issues, the perfect King to contact would be hood member SHAWN WARD! He is a personal trainer, and the owner of 'GET FINE FITNESS'! If ANYBODY can whip u into shape without all of the fancy lookin cute gym crap...its him! He has worked with Mrs.Moody and has her lookin too hot to trot! lol!!! Check out shawns page on NDN!
Are you 'bad' if ur overweight? HELL NO!!! Some people are just built that way! Its nothin wrong witha plump sista who got her mind,soul and karma right! If you want to shed a few pounds, tho'...go for it!
DONT BE LIKE THAT DAMN TINA!!!!! LOL!!
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Permalink Reply by PrincefromQueens on -
This comment right here....
"Why did she gain weight? Did she get pregnant and found it hard to lose that weight? If so, that damn Jerry needs to GET OVER IT!! If a woman gains weight and doesnt give a shit, thats one thing. If she gains weight from giving birth and is trying to lose it, but cant...it is what it is....
Did she gain weight from being too comfortable? If so, thats a fukin problem!"
is some real shit....The situation can vary but if its from just being lazy then somethings got to give....what I really dislike is a woman who constantly complains about her weight and doesnt do anything about it...or calls themselves doing something about it when they go to McDonalds 4 times out the 7 day week for lunch and be like..."um, let me get a #1 with the two apple pie deal, super size that and give me a 'super large that cant fit in my cup holder' diet coke and some apple slices".........SMFH....I know I have gained some pounds over the years and soon as I REALLY notice it....I'm on the case....then again some peoples will power and drive are not the same as mine. my thing is when I get ready to jump in the shower and see that gut from the side view, I just feel disgusted with myself and stop to think about what's going through a chicks head when the time comes to get busy!!!! Cant be on top breathing all hard and sweating after 5 minutes, looking like James Brown when he's bout 7 songs into his performance....smh....that aint gonna work for me....
Basically both men and women need to take pride in their appearance and do the best that they can at that.
on another note, I dont really have a set preference when it comes to a womans size/shape....DONT GET IT TWISTED, no one like a sloppy mate, but I like em slim, thick, a little extra thick at times too...depends on how you carry yourself and how attractive your personality is to me too....
$.02 shared, and what!? lol
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Permalink Reply by mr.moody on
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No doubt, PRINCE!!!! i feel you on that! shit...i know women AND men that complain about they weight on the way to mickey d's!!!!! lol!!!! I got a homie that said he cuttin back on the beef to help him lose weight, so when he goes to MICKEY D'S (????????) instead of gettin a burger, he just get a double fish fillet value meal! lol!!! real talk...dude aint lost a pound since he started his ummmm....'diet'. Like the homie Prince said, women of all sizes can be sexy...so if you got a few pounds that you tryna lose, queens, trust me....a real dude will find you sexy as long as he knows youre dedicated to the effort.
one.
PrincefromQueens said:This comment right here....
"Why did she gain weight? Did she get pregnant and found it hard to lose that weight? If so, that damn Jerry needs to GET OVER IT!! If a woman gains weight and doesnt give a shit, thats one thing. If she gains weight from giving birth and is trying to lose it, but cant...it is what it is....
Did she gain weight from being too comfortable? If so, thats a fukin problem!"
is some real shit....The situation can vary but if its from just being lazy then somethings got to give....what I really dislike is a woman who constantly complains about her weight and doesnt do anything about it...or calls themselves doing something about it when they go to McDonalds 4 times out the 7 day week for lunch and be like..."um, let me get a #1 with the two apple pie deal, super size that and give me a 'super large that cant fit in my cup holder' diet coke and some apple slices".........SMFH....I know I have gained some pounds over the years and soon as I REALLY notice it....I'm on the case....then again some peoples will power and drive are not the same as mine. my thing is when I get ready to jump in the shower and see that gut from the side view, I just feel disgusted with myself and stop to think about what's going through a chicks head when the time comes to get busy!!!! Cant be on top breathing all hard and sweating after 5 minutes, looking like James Brown when he's bout 7 songs into his performance....smh....that aint gonna work for me....
Basically both men and women need to take pride in their appearance and do the best that they can at that.
on another note, I dont really have a set preference when it comes to a womans size/shape....DONT GET IT TWISTED, no one like a sloppy mate, but I like em slim, thick, a little extra thick at times too...depends on how you carry yourself and how attractive your personality is to me too....
$.02 shared, and what!? lol
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