What is a real woman?
I'm starting this discussion because I am SICK and TIRED of hearing brothas go on and on about how they want a real woman, but when I ask what is a real woman to them, all they can describe is a REAL SLAVE! I know what a real woman is, and I will tell you. But first, I'd like to know what you all think...
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Shawn on -
A real woman is one who has her own mind, but can listen to others. She is independent, self-reliant and able to stand on her own two feet. However, she remains a woman and does not try to step up and take the man's place. She is the helpmate to her man.
A real woman doesn't have to tell you that she is a real woman. She already knows it and you will too.
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Permalink Reply by mr.moody on -
DAMN!! u just gon' join up and come straight into the hood with some heat, huh?! I LUV IT!!...aye lady,i gotta question for u..why do think men are sayin they cant find a real woman? and what do u mean all they describe is a slave?!. surely u dont mean that a brotha wants a woman that can cook and clean?..thats not a slave is it?..i mean, are brothas asking for a woman that listens? one that can admit when shes wrong? id like to know what u define a 'real slave' as. On any note,heres (in my humble opinion) what a think a 'real' woman is..
1-one that is secure in her life choices, whether they be popular or unpopular
2-one that is independent, but doesnt feel the need to let u know how independent she is 15 times a day
3-one that can admit she needs a man and not let that admission render her mindless or without her own will
4-one that is comfortable in her own skin, with her own grade of hair and her natural stature..one who can look in the mirror and say "im hot"!..as is..with no make up, push up bras or tummy tucks.
5-one that doesnt walk around as a bitter, angry man hater just because one or two guys have shitted on her
6-one that can see her own flaws as well as her mans and strive to correct them
7-one that remains as sexy as she wants to be..not for no man,but for herself!(a man really benefits and flourishes with a woman that does some things for herself and not to impress him)
8-one that will work, cook, clean and not have a problem with it as long as her partner is on the same page
9-one that has the true spirit of an entrepenuer!..theres nothing more funny than a sista with a high powered 'corporate' job (but no business ownership her own) who thinks she is above all of humanity! her swag is all based off of a position that can be given or taken away at someone elses will. (big up to all my homegirls with their own thang outside of the gig!! thats sexy!..whether its big or small..it shows ur mindset and drive..much respect!)
10-one whose not afraid to be a pure freak slut behind doors for their man!
11-one who is charitable!..nothin says 'real woman 'and sexy like donating ur time at a soup kitchen or church..or school..damn!
12-one who knows how to fall back to her man (the boss) but aint taking no undeserved bullshit from him.
13-and finally, one that supports the ambitions of whoever shes with..finacially if neccesary, but most importantly, emotionally and spiritually.(fellas..do the same or U dont deserve it from her!)
That pretty much sums up a real woman to me!...i left a few things out,but im sure my fellow 'neighbors' will pick up the slack!
oh..one more quality to what I consider to be a 'real 'woman..a 'real' woman is not bitter enough to proclaim that there are no 'good men' available..she knows that even if she has no man, that they are out there..shes in no rush, nor is she looking for a man..because a real woman knows that sometimes.. by looking for nothing, she will eventually find everything.
peace.
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Permalink Reply by Cindy on -
A real woman is a woman who knows her worth, makes everyone believe she is priceless. She’s independent and knows what she wants. She’s confident and respects herself and acts like a lady, not like a ho(only in the bedroom though-lol).. Shawn said it best A real woman doesn’t have to tell you she is a real woman. She already knows it and you will too.
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Permalink Reply by Lac on -
Moody put it down right there. Pretty much. If we are talking relationship wise, we are talking partnership then, right? Real woman supports her partner and not be upset with the attention her partner gets and vice -versa. A woman can cook for her partner and vice-versa. A real woman dont have to throw in her man's face that "she dont need this or that from no man". If we are talking partnership, it's just that. Act like you want him to act with you! If you are chasing a dude for what he got or is wearing, then don't consider yourself a real woman. If you have a hard time doing for a man, don't consider yourself a real woman. If you are in on some "what can you do for me" only type ish, you ain't a real woman. Step back & re-evaluate yourself.
mr.moody said:DAMN!! u just gon' join up and come straight into the hood with some heat, huh?! I LUV IT!!...aye lady,i gotta question for u..why do think men are sayin they cant find a real woman? and what do u mean all they describe is a slave?!. surely u dont mean that a brotha wants a woman that can cook and clean?..thats not a slave is it?..i mean, are brothas asking for a woman that listens? one that can admit when shes wrong? id like to know what u define a 'real slave' as. On any note,heres (in my humble opinion) what a think a 'real' woman is..
1-one that is secure in her life choices, whether they be popular or unpopular
2-one that is independent, but doesnt feel the need to let u know how independent she is 15 times a day
3-one that can admit she needs a man and not let that admission render her mindless or without her own will
4-one that is comfortable in her own skin, with her own grade of hair and her natural stature..one who can look in the mirror and say "im hot"!..as is..with no make up, push up bras or tummy tucks.
5-one that doesnt walk around as a bitter, angry man hater just because one or two guys have shitted on her
6-one that can see her own flaws as well as her mans and strive to correct them
7-one that remains as sexy as she wants to be..not for no man,but for herself!(a man really benefits and flourishes with a woman that does some things for herself and not to impress him)
8-one that will work, cook, clean and not have a problem with it as long as her partner is on the same page
9-one that has the true spirit of an entrepenuer!..theres nothing more funny than a sista with a high powered 'corporate' job (but no business ownership her own) who thinks she is above all of humanity! her swag is all based off of a position that can be given or taken away at someone elses will. (big up to all my homegirls with their own thang outside of the gig!! thats sexy!..whether its big or small..it shows ur mindset and drive..much respect!)
10-one whose not afraid to be a pure freak slut behind doors for their man!
11-one who is charitable!..nothin says 'real woman 'and sexy like donating ur time at a soup kitchen or church..or school..damn!
12-one who knows how to fall back to her man (the boss) but aint taking no undeserved bullshit from him.
13-and finally, one that supports the ambitions of whoever shes with..finacially if neccesary, but most importantly, emotionally and spiritually.(fellas..do the same or U dont deserve it from her!)
That pretty much sums up a real woman to me!...i left a few things out,but im sure my fellow 'neighbors' will pick up the slack!
oh..one more quality to what I consider to be a 'real 'woman..a 'real' woman is not bitter enough to proclaim that there are no 'good men' available..she knows that even if she has no man, that they are out there..shes in no rush, nor is she looking for a man..because a real woman knows that sometimes.. by looking for nothing, she will eventually find everything.
peace.
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Permalink Reply by Tracy on -
Let me flip this. What is the opposite of a "Real Woman", A "Fake Woman".. so what are the qualifications of a "Fake Woman"? We are who we are. All of us. Some of us are more Loose than others but we are women, nonetheless. Men don't want us looking for money, status, or prestige in them because then we are called "Golddiggers". But yet they are on the hunt for two classes of women for two different reasons.
I saw an episode of "The Game" where the players had two parties in which they invited two different sets of women. One set - The HOES- the ones that can get down on a dime, the ones that will do whatever they were told for a little bit of cheese. The other set - The GOOD GIRLS- the ones that they would be willing to be seen in public with, the ones they can introduce their family to, the ones that they could start a family with. Double standard, because the hoes weren't good for anything but sex. But do you think that they leave the hoes alone when they have an established family wtih the good ones? Hell NO
Come on now. Men want a living breathing HOLE. Preferrably a female HOLE. They want it when they want it, and where they want it. Then they consider how tolerable it is to deal with what is attached to the HOLE.
Sorry, so blunt..
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Permalink Reply by Lac on
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Nah, that ain't what men want. Men want what they saw in you when they met you. Now that may have been a mask she was wearing when he met her cause now she thinks he has this Lex 470, but it was his moms who was out of country for a few months. The platinum diamond studded chain wasn't all that real, now she's screw faced. They ate out in the beginning, so she figured that's how it's going to be, so when he asks her could she cook a meal, she's like WTF? Why can't you take us out? This is all hypothetical to what you just suggested, "Men just want a hole and that's it". I can't say all women don a mask, but that's not real. She wouldn't have cared what he drove if she was real, nor worried about his jewelry. She wouldn't have cared if he wanted to save some money and cook for a change, because a real woman would have been making that suggestion instead of having an attitude when he asked her could she cook on Sunday. Yes, we love that hole, but if the body that's carrying the hole ain't real, then it don't last long. It'll only be about the sex. Believe or not, guys do want a real woman, one with substance. Besides, ho's would be the fake women because they are only with the man because of his status or the materilistic items he possesses. So when you see women at all these clubs in line 300 deep cause they heard on the radio Young Jeezy, Lil Wayne, Akon or whoever is going to be there, they are there because they know ballers are going to be there or they may get a chance show that HOLE to that star if she flaunt it right. Don't believe that "hole" theory.
Tracy said:Let me flip this. What is the opposite of a "Real Woman", A "Fake Woman".. so what are the qualifications of a "Fake Woman"? We are who we are. All of us. Some of us are more Loose than others but we are women, nonetheless. Men don't want us looking for money, status, or prestige in them because then we are called "Golddiggers". But yet they are on the hunt for two classes of women for two different reasons.
I saw an episode of "The Game" where the players had two parties in which they invited two different sets of women. One set - The HOES- the ones that can get down on a dime, the ones that will do whatever they were told for a little bit of cheese. The other set - The GOOD GIRLS- the ones that they would be willing to be seen in public with, the ones they can introduce their family to, the ones that they could start a family with. Double standard, because the hoes weren't good for anything but sex. But do you think that they leave the hoes alone when they have an established family wtih the good ones? Hell NO
Come on now. Men want a living breathing HOLE. Preferrably a female HOLE. They want it when they want it, and where they want it. Then they consider how tolerable it is to deal with what is attached to the HOLE.
Sorry, so blunt..
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Permalink Reply by Tracy on
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You are right... The women are at the club for the star! And of course men only go to the Strip Clubs, I'm assuming, because they have the best steaks in town.....
Depends where you are in life too, everyone is not ready to settle down.
A "Real Woman" is whateva the judger wants her to be at that moment. Women, be yourself, at whatever time you are in life. You will evolve and become better as time passes. You can't be everything to everybody all the time, you will lose your self in the process. If you are not deemed woman enough for one man, just hold tight, he is not the right one for you.
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Permalink Reply by mr.moody on
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im rolling with u on that one,Lac..yeah tracy, ur a bit off base with the 'hole' thing.....i know too many dudes that chill out with women and dont even try to hit that...errr...'hole'...thats another topic though because thats what too many women think..thats the energy that yall give off, so thats all that u attract (another forum for another day)..but to follow up Lac a bit..men Do want what they saw in u when they meant u. In my opinion.. a real women maintains that initial tone and look and karma..she has no times for games and deceit. With her, it is what it is... theres no need for the games with a real women because she's not out to pull a man, shes out because she wants to be!..thats attractive, thats real. and thats the HOLE truth! (sorry, trace! i couldnt resist)....and oh..some strip clubs do serve a pretty good steak, but men dont lie and say thats why they are going to the club...now when jeezy is in town..and women put on their tightest streetwalker clothes..why are they goin? is it for the good music and atmosphere?...come on now..
"Lac" said:Nah, that ain't what men want. Men want what they saw in you when they met you. Now that may have been a mask she was wearing when he met her cause now she thinks he has this Lex 470, but it was his moms who was out of country for a few months. The platinum diamond studded chain wasn't all that real, now she's screw faced. They ate out in the beginning, so she figured that's how it's going to be, so when he asks her could she cook a meal, she's like WTF? Why can't you take us out? This is all hypothetical to what you just suggested, "Men just want a hole and that's it". I can't say all women don a mask, but that's not real. She wouldn't have cared what he drove if she was real, nor worried about his jewelry. She wouldn't have cared if he wanted to save some money and cook for a change, because a real woman would have been making that suggestion instead of having an attitude when he asked her could she cook on Sunday. Yes, we love that hole, but if the body that's carrying the hole ain't real, then it don't last long. It'll only be about the sex. Believe or not, guys do want a real woman, one with substance. Besides, ho's would be the fake women because they are only with the man because of his status or the materilistic items he possesses. So when you see women at all these clubs in line 300 deep cause they heard on the radio Young Jeezy, Lil Wayne, Akon or whoever is going to be there, they are there because they know ballers are going to be there or they may get a chance show that HOLE to that star if she flaunt it right. Don't believe that "hole" theory.
Tracy said:Let me flip this. What is the opposite of a "Real Woman", A "Fake Woman".. so what are the qualifications of a "Fake Woman"? We are who we are. All of us. Some of us are more Loose than others but we are women, nonetheless. Men don't want us looking for money, status, or prestige in them because then we are called "Golddiggers". But yet they are on the hunt for two classes of women for two different reasons.
I saw an episode of "The Game" where the players had two parties in which they invited two different sets of women. One set - The HOES- the ones that can get down on a dime, the ones that will do whatever they were told for a little bit of cheese. The other set - The GOOD GIRLS- the ones that they would be willing to be seen in public with, the ones they can introduce their family to, the ones that they could start a family with. Double standard, because the hoes weren't good for anything but sex. But do you think that they leave the hoes alone when they have an established family wtih the good ones? Hell NO
Come on now. Men want a living breathing HOLE. Preferrably a female HOLE. They want it when they want it, and where they want it. Then they consider how tolerable it is to deal with what is attached to the HOLE.
Sorry, so blunt..
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Permalink Reply by Aish on -
Hahaha...
I am really loving the way everyone has responded to this question I posed. Like I said, I was going to give my definition of a real woman after I heard from you all, and as a real woman should, I am going to keep my word. So, here goes...
On my MySpace blog, I started an online group for Ladies in Waiting--ladies waiting to embrace their love of a lifetime. Within minutes, I had several women joined and this made me excited because I had women who wanted to voice their opinions about what it's like being a good woman in the wings waiting for that good man (because yes, they are out there). However, what I discovered was that these women only wanted to read my thoughts--not share their own.
Humph, I was back at square one and had no one to give me some reinforcement. But, it's alright. I know what a real woman is, and that my new friends, is what I am about to tell you.
A real woman is many of the things my new friend Mr. Moody said, but he's a man. He knows a real woman when he sees one, but I know a real woman because I AM one. A real woman first has a sense of self. She cannot be real if she doesn't know who she is. Life is all about self-discovery and we learn more about ourselves as time passes, but a real woman, no matter what knowledge she gathers, still maintains a firm foundation on who she is--without a man. How can a woman identify what she needs in a man, desires from a man if she does not first know herself? An old proverb says, "to thine own self be true". Before a man can swoon or sway a real woman, she has to first know what she has to give.
A real woman is a woman a weak man can't handle. Her inner pride and confidence, lack of co-dependence confuses him because he can't find an outlet for his own insecurity. She either makes him run or makes him step up. Either way, a real woman brings about a real change.
A real woman is an anchor in a world of chaos. Her friends, be they male or female, can lean and depend on her because she is stable and humble enough to see to their needs. A real woman has an inner confidence that can't be defined or packaged because she is unique. Only she can walk like her. Only she can speak like her. A real woman knows how to let a man lead, because, for all of you Jesus believers, He did place the man at the head. She loves her man with a meek and quiet spirit. Think about it--does the radiance from the sun announces its arrival? Does a light bulb or candle flame shout I'm here? No. All they do is let their light shine. So does a real woman.
I can go on, but to put it simply, a real woman is one that comes with no flake or fluff. She comes with beauty and grace. She is her man's safe place. His safety zone that only he can turn to and only he can have. She is not his slave in that she only caters to his ever demand and need not being allowed to flourish, to shine. She is his companion, partner, soul mate, lover, and friend that inspires him to love on her as much, if not more, as she loves on him.
It's not easy being a real woman. Other women who haven't reached her level feel insecure. She's envied, targeted, and tested for her genuiness and her realness. But it's alright though. All things happen in their due season. I can say this because it has finally happened for me.
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Permalink Reply by Aish on
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I totally agree with you. A real woman doesn't just make people believe she is priceless--she is. As the great passage of scripture Proverbs 31 says, "her price is far above rubies".
Cindy said:A real woman is a woman who knows her worth, makes everyone believe she is priceless. She’s independent and knows what she wants. She’s confident and respects herself and acts like a lady, not like a ho(only in the bedroom though-lol).. Shawn said it best A real woman doesn’t have to tell you she is a real woman. She already knows it and you will too.
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Permalink Reply by Tracy on
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You know I have to throw in the controversy.
I learned about the HOLE theory in the Navy.
I know better.
I think that it is interesting to note that women have to want to come to a realization of who they really are. I am a real woman. But I can say that because I know what I used to be and what I have grown to become. I don't know of any real women that were born that way. There is a growth process and then you see the fruits of your labor. You are wife, you are mother, you are friend and you are the best you can be at it.
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Permalink Reply by mr.moody on
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quite frankly, for the most part..it seems as if we have a few 'real' women in this forum : )
Tracy said:You know I have to throw in the controversy.
I learned about the HOLE theory in the Navy.
I know better.
I think that it is interesting to note that women have to want to come to a realization of who they really are. I am a real woman. But I can say that because I know what I used to be and what I have grown to become. I don't know of any real women that were born that way. There is a growth process and then you see the fruits of your labor. You are wife, you are mother, you are friend and you are the best you can be at it.
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And in Las Vegas...........
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Photos via PacificCoastNews.com/WENN.com/Cassi Thomas
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Also, NBC correspondent Tamron Hall tweeted, Hanging with @todayshow fam this morn! The king of R&B Bobby Brown is here and his fans are already lined up waiting !!!@kingbobbybrown
Watch "Don't Let Me Die" here:
Watch "Every Little Step" here:…
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